


Put on a Show

by Scrunchles



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Camming AU, M/M, Masturbation, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-02-12 17:58:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrunchles/pseuds/Scrunchles
Summary: Mako slumps through the door of his apartment, his shoulders bowed and the center of his back wound up so tightly he thinks it might be time to break down and get one of those back supports the other guys use.  He sighs and the entire world feels just a little lighter when he lets his work bag thump to the floor, sending up a plume of drywall.He’s hungry and he needs a shower, but the first thing he does is walk over to his desk and open his laptop.It’s already on and showing a picture of a freckled young man with eyes so light a brown they might as well be orange, a wide smile and messy blonde hair that needs about five haircuts to get back under control.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WodensSkadi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WodensSkadi/gifts).



> Thanks to Matt on discord for Mako’s screen name and Woden's Skadi for all of the encouragement and advice, and thank you to all of my friends for their amazing support.
> 
> EDIT: Now with wonderful ficart commissioned from [satyrcake](http://satyrcake.tumblr.com) in chapter 1!

Everything feels heavy.

Mako slumps through the door of his apartment, his shoulders bowed and the center of his back wound up so tightly he thinks it might be time to break down and get one of those back supports the other guys use.  He sighs and the entire world feels just a little lighter when he lets his work bag thump to the floor, sending up a plume of drywall.

He’s hungry and he needs a shower, but the first thing he does is walk over to his desk and open his laptop.

It’s already on and showing a picture of a freckled young man with eyes so light a brown they might as well be orange, a wide smile and messy blonde hair that needs about five haircuts to get back under control.

Mako slumps into his desk chair and hits the play button before relaxing back in his chair and letting out a full-bodied sigh.  There was a short animated intro with a drawn dick getting hard with a modified voice saying, “welcome to the Dr. Boom show!” when the dick ejaculates, there’s an explosion behind it and through the speakers.  Then it switches to the stream.

“—so the guy says, ‘if you can guess what I have in my hand, I’ll let you have it,’ and I said—“ the same young man from the thumbnail pauses to giggle.  It’s a high, wonderful sound that loosens the knots in Mako’s shoulders and brings a smile to his normally sour lips.  Once he has himself back under control, Boom’s eyes glance over at the chat to the bottom left of his camera, and his eyes light up before turning forward again.  “ ‘Ey, Piggy!  Did you catch the first of the joke or do I need to repeat it?”

He had heard it, but Mako still types out, “plz repeat”.

“Okay, okay, so last night after you got off, some bloke in chat thought he would be cute and said he had a pressie for me.” He pauses to giggle again, and Mako feels everything slough off his shoulders like water.  All the heat and aches of the day are replaced by a soft feeling and Mako relaxes further into his chair, ready to be swallowed up by the stream.

The chat is blowing up at the setup being repeated, but Mako ignores it, instead watching the way Boom’s face changes from excited to pouting when he sees the bitching viewers.  “Okay, okay, I’m getting to it!  Anyway, I told him the PO box was in the bio, and he—“ giggle, “he said it wasn’t something he could ship.  So I says— I says, ‘well, gotta know what it is before I come get it.’ “ Boom licks his lips and gives the camera a sly wink.  His hand slides down to grab himself through his pants and the chat suddenly slows down, now that Boom is making a show of it.  

Mako sighs and leans his head back.  The asshole doesn’t know how to tell a story worth a damn.  He breaks off giggling a few more times and Mako just lets the high, annoying titter wash over him, glad to be home and in front of his questionably sourced choice of entertainment.  A few of his co workers watched a show about dragons and knights and another was into the shows they were coming out with based on popular comic books.

He just stayed silent and acted like tv wasn’t interesting.

He bets he stares at a screen more often than half of them.

“—if it can fit in your hand, I don’t want it!”  Mako tunes back in just in time for the punchline.  The young man is dying on screen, laughing like he’s just told the best joke in the world.

Mako types in a quick, “lol,” not bothering to sit up at all.

“I knew you’d like that one!  Had to give you the full story,” Boom says, stretching out on his bed and giving a satisfied groan when his back pops.  “Real show starts in five, lovies, got any requests?”

The chat begins rapidly moving again.  Boring shit, like _fuck yourself open in front of the camera, masturbate for me, say my name this time, PLEASE._

One person wants him to pee on himself, another wants him to choke on the green dildo he has sitting behind him.

Mako leans forward and types, “dnt care just kp ur face @ the cam”.

Boom grins and winks at the camera.  Mako doesn’t know if it’s at him or the cluster of requests around him, but he likes to think it’s him.  All for him.  He minimizes the chat and maximizes the stream, making it take up the whole screen, then makes sure his bottle of lotion is within easy reach on the floor beside his chair and settles back again.

Boom shifts his laptop to another surface so that he can read the chat and keep an eye on his angle, then puts his camera down on the bed.  He shifts around and props himself against the padded headboard so that his face is still visible while he unbuttons his tight, tight jeans and begins peeling them off.

Mako lets out a harsh sigh and starts unbuckling his belt.  He usually tries to drag it out, but Boom’s hips wiggling up and down while he shoves his jeans down makes his stomach twist and he can just see him doing the same maneuver on Mako’s bed, struggling out of his too-tight jeans for Mako’s cock.

Mako shifts in his chair reluctantly, but he gets his pants and underwear down around his ankles soon enough and knows he won’t have to move again after.

Boom slips a cockring on, just to the base of his cock, then cracks his fingers and reaches for a clunky, older model vibrator.  “This is for ex-ex-teezme-ex-ex,” Boom says, pressing the on button.

His cock twitches before the vibrator even touches it, and as soon as it’s hard enough, he slips another cock ring just below his glans.

“Right, so you lot know the drill,” Boom says, turning his face away to read the chat.

Mako follows the lean lines of Boom’s body with his eyes and wishes he could touch him.  God, he’s so hot.

His jaw has sparse blonde hairs on it, and the light from the screen catches them and casts sharp shadows across his neck and chest.

He starts moving the vibrator according to what his viewers tell him.  Boom presses the end against his balls and he rubs it in slow, teasing circles.  His cock fills out more, and he keeps talking to the chat.

“I’m not shoving this up my ass, you cunts!  No one’s paying me enough for that tonight— thank you for the tip, Cock-ex-luvr, but I’m not—ah….” Boom bites his lip and looks down at the camera, the vibrator pressed against the metal of the cock ring around his base.

“Fuck…” he groans, keeping the vibrator there for a bit.  His stomach undulates with each wave of pleasure, and Mako finally starts touching himself.  He wishes he was making Boom move like that.  Wishes his hips gave the occasional jerk because Mako was teasing him with that vibrator.  Mako’s callouses start to feel less pleasant on his dick and he finally coats his palm in lotion before going back to stroking himself.

“Right, right,” Boom laughs and runs the vibrator up his length, back and forth along the shaft, like he was trying to coat it all over.  “Fuck yeah, I’m into that,” he says in response to something said in the chat.

He laughs again and Mako forces himself to stay slow and easy, squeezing his base every time he strokes down, giving his head a rub over and tug before going back down the shaft again.

Boom hums and licks his lips as he finally stops the vibrator on the glans ring.  “Mnh yeah…” his hips rock into the air, and his stomach contracts— Mako grunts and tugs at his cock harder.

“Yeah, I’d fucking love that.  Nice thick cock in my ass while I tease myself with this thing? Fucking grand— Well I only got two hands, mate, and pillows slip.  If my angle fucks up, I gotta get screen caps for weeks and you lot bitchin’—“ Boom shudders again and his cock twitches hard.  

Mako groans and tries to go slower, to last as long as the gorgeous blonde on his screen with the cock rings.

He just ends up ruining himself instead.

“Fuck.”  Mako pants and tries to milk a little pleasure from his slowly softening cock, but it’s over.  Oh well, he would make up for it with the second show of the night, his recorded private half hour that he got last month from being a top tipper.

He leaves the laptop open and turns the volume up before standing and stretching.  He leaves his pants and underwear beneath the chair and goes to the bathroom for a hot shower.  He can fairly hear the sound of Boom chatting with his viewers while he teases himself.  Occasionally, his conversation will drop off suddenly.  Mako smirks knowingly and his gut throbs, though he’s not anywhere near ready to go again.

Boom does a public show every other night of the week and gives private shows for his top three tippers throughout the month.  Mako has a folder of personal recordings, enough to get off to for a month or three of his private shows and favorite clips from the public stream.

Mako always comes back for the public stream, though, always tips Boom enough to stay at the top of his list, even if he doesn’t get to enjoy the whole thing or he’s doing something Mako just isn’t that into—a rare occurrence in and of itself.

Just as he comes back into the living area, Boom is panting and giggling.  He has a few viewers who like the after bits.  He’s moved the camera up to sit next to his laptop and is playing with the come on his stomach.  

“You two are the sickest fucks I got,” he says, his head resting on his arm and his vibrant eyes half-lidded.  “Nah, I’m serious.  Making me lay here all shitty and tired for—“ he sits up and twists around to see the clock.  “Another fifteen minutes! Torture!”

“There’s one on your laptop, idiot,” Mako mumbles as he picks his computer up and moves to the kitchen to make dinner.  

Boom knew what he was doing when he twisted like that.  His lean rib muscles stretched and moved beneath his skin and it nearly made Mako’s mouth water every time he made excuses to show off.

The chat’s response has his freckled cheeks coloring, and Mako pauses to watch Boom blush and smile at the reaction.  

“Dunno if I’m _that_ hot, but I guess I’m alright.  Especially if I got such discerning viewers as my little piggy.”  He winks at the camera and Mako takes a deep, grounding breath.  He throws a tenner of tokens at Boom before beginning to get shit out to cook with.

“Piggy, you’re supposed to be on my side!  I don’t wanna spend five more minutes lying here gross for these shitheels,” Boom whines.

Mako smiles to himself and watches Boom as he cuts vegetables and oils a pan.  Tomorrow night is going to suck, but the night after, Boom will have another show, a private one for Mako and his other two top .

Mako can’t wait.

Boom stays in his bed and pillow talks through the cooking process and right up until Mako’s food is in the oven.  He doesn’t really listen, just enjoys the background noise and occasional laughter.  His house feels dark and drab compared to Boom’s bright voice and the sterile light of Mako’s laptop.

“Right, lovies, that’s all for tonight.”  Boom grabs his camera and laptop and sits up with the camera focused on his come-streaked stomach.  Mako leans closer, despite having seen Boom’s entire body moving and flexing in all sorts of ways before, his abs were a work of art.

“Join me Friday at 7pm for my weekly porn review!  Got three categories: story, jerkability, and character,” Boom says, listing the three out on his fingers as he goes.  “And I’ll see Piggy this weekend for some private fun.” Another wink.  Mako rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling, still so into the stupid hot man on his screen.

“Bring your a-game.  I got a few new toys in the PO box you can pick from.  Should be a lot of fun!”  Boom grins and makes a kissy face before snapping his fingers and pointing at the camera.  “Shit, nearly forgot!  Special thanks to Jack and Triple-Ex-69, you guys have your weeks coming up, get thinking about what you want to see from me, yeah?”  He laughs and shrugs like he’s an innocent little shit and focuses right on the camera.  “Then I guess you gotta make me pay for it, Ex.”  He winks one more time and then shuts off the feed.

Mako closes his laptop and turns on the TV for background noise.  Ever since he started watching Boom’s stream, it’s been hard for him to stand silence. He eats alone and washes his work clothes before taking his laptop to his room and settling down for the night.  He pulls up one of his private shows with Boom and takes his time with himself.  

It’s a role play where they’re in a post apocalyptic wasteland.  Boom was a twitchy scavenger and Mako was his lover and bodyguard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go!

_7:04 AM DrBoom: Im lonely ;)_

_7:05 AM LittlePiggy: @ work_

_7:05 AM DrBoom: U ready for tonite?  Got a great plan.  Ur going to love it._

_7:06 AM Little Piggy: no food or utensils up ur ass_

_7:06 AM DrBoom: Last months date night was a fkin blast and u know it_

Mako smiles at the cracked screen of his phone, then tucks it back in the pocket of his coveralls.  Five hours of putting up drywall, then he can chat with Boom on his lunch.  Five after that, probably involving flooring or painting, he would be home and get his private show.

He knows exactly what he wants.  Boom has a slinky robe he wears when Mako asks for domestic bullshit.  He wants him in that and the orange lingerie he sent him last month, then Mako wants to slowly tease him with words until he has to touch himself.

Thoughts of Boom keep Mako in good spirits up until he goes on his lunch break, then he graduates to over the moon.  Boom sent him a few messages while he was working.

_7:10 AM DrBoom_ : _I cant wait for tonight.  Its been to long since Ive been able to have a chill sesh_

_7:11 AM DrBoom: Callmedaddy and shortbutthick are fkin monsters m8 they tip hard and then fkin ride me ragged._

_7:15 AM DrBoom: I tend to have more fun with u ;)_

Mako replies to the messages first.

_12:02 PM LittlePiggy: Im telling them u said I was ur favorite._

He feels a warm glow in his stomach as he moves into checking his emails, trashing all the junk before getting to the only one he really cares about— it’s from the service Boom uses to broadcast his channel.

_**From: Overcrotch** _

_You have a private session scheduled tonight at 6:00 PM with DrBoom!  Please confirm by clicking the link below and submitting your request for any props/apparel for your session._

Mako doesn’t bother reading the rest of the email, just follows the link and absently eats his sandwich while he thinks about the various “props” Boom has.  Well, he already knows he wants the lingerie and that slinky robe.

_Requests:_

_Orange lingerie domestic robe._

He pauses and hums.  Fuck.  He wants everything and nothing.  It’s so hard to make a decision when Boom is so wonderful and willing.

_Keep ur face visible.  Surprise me._

He spends the rest of his time eating and thinking of how great tonight is going to be.  He’s in such a good mood, he doesn’t stare nervously at his phone when Boom doesn’t message him back by the end of his lunch hour. 

He offers to do taping and floating instead of intimidating one of the newer guys into doing the menial task.  

Five hours are going to drag by no matter what task he’s doing; might as well be something mindless so that he can fantasize about Boom’s “surprise.”  

Usually “surprise me,” ends up with Boom doing whatever he’s in the mood for.  Which can be infinitely more entertaining than any of the shows he does.

Mako is pretty sure that he’s the only viewer to know how much Boom likes to come with his underwear on.  Everyone always starts with “;) take it off,” but never thinks about how the silk must feel against his skin.  Watching lingerie stain with come is so much more intimate than watching Boom lay around sweaty and comey and begging for tips via complaints.

He’s admitted he doesn’t mind it before.  Told Mako that showering is as low on his to-do list as fucking a turkey baster.  When Mako said that didn’t seem so bad, Boom started describing it and he quickly realized that he was not talking about a baster.  He was talking about a flavor injector.  And he would sound one for three hundred dollars.

Mako tipped him a twenty, ten for him to shower immediately and another ten to let Mako watch, and it barely got him past the curiosity of whether Boom would actually really do it. Probably.  After he was clean and wrapped up in his bed, he made Mako swear that he wouldn’t tell the stream.  They both knew those assholes would make him do it.

Boom never said anything about pointing out he didn’t like to shower, though.  With that tidbit, the viewers started a conversation that Boom immediately turned into a game.  A tug of war, dollar for dollar, whether they wanted him to shower or not.  Boom raked in at least $500 from idiots fighting over whether they wanted him to go a without showering or shower every day for a month.

“Hey, Rutledge, it’s quitting time.”

The foreman breaks through Mako’s reflection and he suddenly realizes that he’s the last one left.

“Thanks, boss,” Mako grunts.  He regrets getting lost in thought immediately.  Now he has to take extra time to put his shit away.  He should have set an alarm and started doing it ten minutes before quitting time.

He gets the plaster sealed up and his work area cleared enough that no one’s going to break their neck tripping over shit and then heads for the stairs.  He checks to see if Boom has sent him anything, but the only notification he has is another email from Overcrotch.  It’s probably the link to get into the private show.  Sometimes Boom likes to start early.

Mako forces himself to put his phone back in his pocket and drive home only going ten over the speed limit.  He can wait.  He still has time.  It will be better if he’s home and scrubbed clean first.

Mako has thirty minutes when he gets home.  He showers quickly.  It will take a few more scrubs to get the rest of the plaster out of his hair, but it doesn’t matter.  He’ll have another go before bed maybe.  He eats a bologna sandwich for a quick snack and pours a few fingers of whiskey for a nice accompaniment to his evening. Five minutes from six, Mako opens his email.

_**From: Overcrotch** _

_Subject: Your Tips Have Been Refunded!_

The email subject sends an icy flood through Mako’s entire body.  What the fuck?  Maybe he was giving Mako a freebie.  Even as he thinks it, Mako knows it isn’t true. Boom would never do a refund.  Rule number one is _Nothing is free_.  Rule number two is _No animals._  Rule number three is _No piss or shit._

Mako doesn’t want to read the message.  He clicks on it anyway, his sparse dinner rolling in his stomach uneasily.

_LittlePiggy,_

_All tips and payments to DrBoom for the month of November have been refunded to your account._

_DrBoom is taking a break from streaming and will not be available to broadcast this evening.  Below are several similar channels that might interest you._

Mako’s liquor glass cracks in his hand.  What the fuck?  Had something happened or was Boom just ghosting him?  If he was ghosting, why return the money?  Something must have happened.

Mako brings up a new message, types in Boom’s email and then just stares at it. He stares for so long that he ends up counting the spidery cracks branching across his glass with his thumb nail to remind himself that he’s still awake.  This isn’t a fucking dream.  Mako tosses the drink back, not in the mood for sipping anymore.

He feels the bite of abandonment mixed with thick, heavy worry and disappointment.  His shoulders cave under the weight of his surprise and hurt, and Mako feels pathetic.

Maybe this is a joke.

He can always watch one of the recorded shows. 

Maybe it’s a mistake.

He can check out the recommended channels.

Did Boom get banned for some reason? It’s on point character wise, but Boom is a gracious cammer and tends to lean toward customer service.  Maybe he violated a rule while Mako wasn’t watching.  He knows that some things are frowned upon during broadcasts, but the only thing Mako can think of Boom doing that might get him banned would be getting high or drunk on stream.  

He wouldn’t.  Boom raked in cash from this channel, he wouldn’t jeopardize that.

Maybe a griefer reported him and they’re just investigating it.

Mako waits, watching his email and picking at the broken glass for an hour before he gives up.

He received nothing.  No more emails, no cheeky messages about Mako being such a stud he was getting a freebie.

Absolutely.  Nothing.

When Mako‘s certain Boom isn’t pulling one over on him, he messages Boom’s moderator.

_LittlePiggy: is boom ok?_

_Goddess: I am not at liberty to discuss DrBoom’s current whereabouts or condition._

_LittlePiggy: stop doing the copy paste crap and tell me if he’s dead in a ditch._

_Goddess: He is not dead in a ditch._

Mako takes a deep breath and rubs his temples.  Well.  At least he wasn’t dead in a ditch.

_LittlePiggy: can you tell me anything?_

_Goddess: Last month’s tips and subscriptions were refunded because your broadcaster is unable to fulfill their shows for the immediate future.  When/if they come back, feel free to reinvest in their talent once again! Until then, please check out Dead2Rights and YungNumOne and enjoy a free tier 1 package from Overcrotch as an apology for the inconvenience—_

Mako stops reading and nearly shoves his laptop off the table.  One of the rubber stoppers on the bottom pops off and rolls around on the table.  Mako stares at it until it comes to a stop.

Well, now what?

The channel is locked.  He pulls out his phone to get the usernames of the two other top donors Boom mentioned.

He sends them each a message and then starts clicking around on the site for a while longer, trying to see if he can find any hint to where Boom’s gone.  If he’s okay.  When nothing surfaces from word searches and news posts, Mako sighs and clicks on the link for Dead2Rights’s channel.

He’s greeted by an American southern drawl and a man lying in a bed with his thick, cut  cock hanging out of his tight jeans.  He has a shirt on, unbuttoned.  His hair is shoulder length and just a few shades darker brown than his sun tanned skin.

Mako huffs out a sigh and rests his chin on his fist.  The cowboy is hot, but he’s nothing like Boom.  He’s thick and warm where Boom is wiry and pale.

Mako chooses a wave emoticon before dropping out of the channel.

Goddess isn’t very good at recommending similar channels.  Those two probably pay for the advertising or something.

Mako stares at the homepage of his computer for a while, then decides he’s too worried to get off anyway and decides to make a real dinner to redirect his tension.

It’s quiet.  It’s too fucking quiet without the stream running in the background.  He’s so used to the chatter that he keeps turning around with the idle thought that Boom might be gagging himself while doing something on stream, but then he remembers that he’s just not there.

Maybe it’s healthier that he take a break from Boom.

Mako puts off going back over to the table and his laptop for so long that he eats standing up and takes care of his dishes right away.  Then, he stands leaning against the counter, sipping another whiskey and feeling like shit.

He knows that avoiding it won’t change anything.  Boom is gone for now, and he feels the void gaping in front of him.  He feels lonely for the first time in a long time.

Mako shuts his laptop on his way to his room, then showers again and tosses his work clothes in the wash.  He feels like he’s going through the motions of living without any real substance.  It feels a lot like when he split with his last serious boyfriend, though the situation is very different.

He’s not in love with Boom.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Woden's Skadi and Cancel for their support as well as all of my other supporters.
> 
> And thanks to Thyme-Basalt for the beta!

When Mako first clicked on DrBoom’s abs, nothing greeted him.  Every other channel he brought up had someone in the middle of talking or touching, but all he saw was an empty room.

There was a messy bed with shelves at its head, displaying a jumble of action figures and what looked like metal sculptures, and there was the edge of a desk— that was all he could see.

“hey noob u left ur cam up,” Mako typed before hovering over the button to exit the room.

He could hear the beep of the message going through, and then a bundle of limbs and pure energy suddenly flopped on the bed.  The suddenness startled Mako into clicking, and he was taken back out to the lobby just as a wide grin and bright brown eyes that nearly glowed seemed to meet his own.

He scrolled back through the sea of channels furiously, trying to find that idiot’s abs in the sea of torsos all over the page.  He didn’t even remember what the channel was called.  Fuck.

A minute later, he got a direct message:

_DrBoom: Thks 4 the heads up!!!”_

Mako clicked on the abs and DrBoom’s page opened back up.

The young man was pouting when Mako dropped back in, but he started grinning as soon as he saw his viewer count go back up from what Mako assumed was zero.

“Y’came back!”  DrBoom crowed, shifting imperceptibly and suddenly going from slouching forward to laying out on his side with his right hand under his head and his left twitching around between the bed and his torso, like he’s got too much energy and nowhere to direct it.  It jumped from the sheets to scratch his chest, then back down, then up to rub the top of his stomach.

In the short time Mako had been watching, he knew that this jackass was a hyperactive space case with entirely too much spunk.  He wasn’t what Mako was looking for.  He nearly clicked out of the page, but hesitated.  He didn’t want to crush the new guy; he was actually pretty cute.  Well, his body and eyes were, anyway.  His face was a bit overwhelming with bushy eyebrows, a wide mouth and the most wildly varied expressions Mako had ever seen outside a cartoon.

_LittlePiggy: how long u been camming?_

“Uh…” DrBoom rubbed his stomach again and Mako suddenly remembered why he had clicked on the young man’s torso to begin with.  He was fucking _ripped._ “Since like yesterday? ‘Round arvo—got everything finished setting up and then did a few shows. Starting out’s shit, mate.  Dunno how those bigger guys fuckin’ did it.”

_LittlePiggy: stop talking so much_

DrBoom wrinkled his nose and blew a raspberry.  “You think it was my dulcet tones what drove ‘em off?”  He ended up grinning again and his face was starting to grow on Mako.  Just a little.

_LittlePiggy: ur too focused on urself_

Fuck, he hadn’t come here for this.  He was here for a wank.  

_LittlePiggy: u have two secs to get ur pants off or im dippin._

 DrBoom laughed at that, a piercing, high thing that made Mako regret staying.  He nearly clicked out when DrBoom shoved his pants down.  

Jesus, he had a body.

He was all muscle and length.  He was probably nearly as tall as Mako, but other than height they had no similarities.  Mako had dark skin hardened and further tanned by a career outside.  DrBoom was pale, with just a hint of color change nearly halfway up his thigh, likely from togs. 

He probably looked gorgeous wet.

Thick blonde hair started just beneath where the waistband of DrBoom’s sweatpants had been and trailed down to frame his cock.  Long like the rest of him, his dick didn’t match how unfathomably thin he seemed.  Mako wasn’t sure how to reconcile his muscle tone with how skinny he seemed, but he supposed it fit him well enough.  As soon as DrBoom finished kicking his pants off, he squeezed himself and let out a shaky chuckle.

_LittlePiggy: i didnt say 2 touch_

Mako figured if he was going to be babying this cammer, he might as well have some fun.

“Didn't say not to, either,” DrBoom pointed out cheekily.

Mako snorted and rolled his eyes.

_LittlePiggy: start with your nipples_

DrBoom sighed and brought his hands up to his chest.  His fingers were long and narrow like the rest of him, and his camera was so shitty that Mako couldn’t see if his nipples were doing anything.

_LittlePiggy: get a better camera._

DrBoom stuck out his tongue and reached up to pull his laptop down from whatever perch it had been set on into his lap.  

The angle was unflattering.  DrBoom was craning his neck to still see the screen while keeping the camera focused on his chest, and that made any extra skin on his neck bunch up beneath his chin.  Being close allowed Mako to see that despite DrBoom’s despondent act, his nipples were pebbling.  And he had an up close and personal view of his amazing abs.

_LittlePiggy: shit ur hot_

Might as well try to offer some encouragement.

He could just barely see DrBoom’s mouth and chin.  The thin lips spread into a grin and suddenly the fingers stopped half heartedly picking and rubbing at his nipples.  He twisted one and let out a sigh.  Now that he was closer, Mako could hear DrBoom’s breathing.  Though the quality was shit, the stuttering drag of each inhale and exhale finally brought his hands to the band of his pants.

Once Mako was situated with his pants open and his hand around his cock, he realized that DrBoom had the laptop on his bed and he couldn’t see jack shit except a half hard cock and some body hair.

_LittlePiggy: hey_

Nothing.

_LittePiggy: hey!!_

He sent the message three more times before flushed cheeks bobbed into view and DrBoom picked up the laptop.

 _LittlePiggy: kp ur face vissble_  

His thick fingers fumbled through finding the keys one handed.

DrBoom rolled his eyes and licked his bottom lip.  “You always this bossy?” He asked.

_LittlePiggy: only when im trying to jerk off and sm asswipe dsnt seem to want a fukin tip_

Mako reluctantly brought his other hand up.  Despite not having a hand on himself, his cock was still very interested in the flushed face and wet lips of the young man on his screen.

Despite Mako’s urge to just find someone else who would be less of a jerk and more of a jerk off, he was still somehow into the reedy douche.

DrBoom seemed to read his message a few times before his cheeks flushed and he coughed awkwardly.  “Oh you’re uh…?  Okay, aces, aces, uh… what do you want again?” His eyes darted around like he was trying to read the backlog of messages.

Mako sighed and rubbed his hand across his face.

Okay.  He could do this.  He dropped his hand back to his cock.

_LittlePiggy: i want u to have a gd time.  but u have to fig out how to lk sexy doin it._

DrBoom wrinkled his nose.  “Sounds like a lot of work.  Thought this was going to be jerking off for a few bucks, not… acting or nothing.”

Mako rolled his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

_LittlePiggy: all porn is acting_

DrBoom huffed out a sigh and then brought his laptop up level with his head.  It rested on the bed beside his pillow, and he shimmied down to look up at the camera to make sure his face and body were both visible. “This angle okay?”

_LittlePiggy: better_

DrBoom touched his nipples again, but his impatience was palpable, and he didn’t take long before his hand moved down to take his cock.  

_Little Piggy: hey_

Mako sighed heavily and DrBoom echoed his frustration with a sigh of his own and looked back at the camera.  “What? Your name is cute, but you’re real piggish, LittlePiggy.”

Mako paused in typing his request and he felt a reluctant smile tugging at his lips.  The asshole was wasting his time, _and_ he had the gall to make puns?

_LittlePiggy: lk at the cam n roll ur balls_

He was typing one handed again, trying to salvage what he could of his erection.  If DrBoom annoyed him one more time he told himself he was leaving.

DrBoom looked put out over the request, but once he looked into the camera and gave his balls attention, Mako felt himself regaining ground.

A few more viewers dropped in and DrBoom flashed an attractive grin.  “H-hey, guys,” he greeted them.

Mako looked at the chat and snorted.  He didn’t even have bots yet.  That was going to be annoying.  Despite that thought, Mako didn’t click out.

_ThiccDicc: Holy shit, man.  I can’t tell if you’re hot or not because of the quality._

DrBoom rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose. He was about to say something, but Mako dragged his hand away from his dick to type quickly:

_LittlePiggy: hes saving fr one_

_ThiccDicc: A real noobie, huh?_

DrBoom grinned and used his left hand to play with his nipples while his right hand toyed  with his balls.  “Right off the press,” he said before biting his lip and jerking his hips forward.

_LittlePiggy: go head n tch ur dic_

Mako slowly returned his own hand to his cock.

DrBoom quickly did as he was told.  He wrapped his hand around his cock and started jerking himself off with insistent, hard movements.  He was going too fast, so Mako told him to slow down.

DrBoom stuck his tongue out at Mako and his stomach hitched at the audacity.

_LittlePiggy: ur here to take my $, nt get off_

Mako was surprised he could find the letters with one hand.

_ThiccDicc: Yeah, slow down, dude.  I just got here._

DrBoom sighed and gave his head a firm squeeze before he slowed down his jerks and lolled his head back.  “Fuck this is going to kill me.”

Mako chuckled and kept jerking himself.  His other hand dropped down to fondle his balls and he squeezed firmly around the base of his cock.

DrBoom licked his lips and then turned his face away from the camera.

Mako rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t about to stop touching himself to tell DrBoom to look at the camera again.

A few more viewers ticked up and started sending messages.  DrBoom looked back up at the camera and Mako smirked.  Finally.  DrBoom’s striking eyes were half-lidded and his mouth hung open with soft pants.

He read the messages and smiled.  “ ‘m saving up,” he said, then his hips jerked and he groaned.  “Uh… goals… right…”

Pleasure rolled through Mako at the way DrBoom bit his bottom lip again, but soon enough he turned his face away from the camera and Mako let out a frustrated sigh, releasing his cock.

Mako tipped him a few tokens before ducking out of the stream.  He didn’t have a bot setup anyway, he wouldn’t even know Mako had left.  Mako stared at DrBoom’s abs for a moment before sending him a direct message.

_LittlePiggy: chng ur pro pic to ur face n fix ur tags n get sum bots_

After he sent it, he clicked around to find a different channel.  The cammer he settled with was way better than DrBoom, and it didn’t take much for Mako to get into the flow of the stream.

The man was aware of his angles and engaged with his audience.  He was young, hot, and played with himself like he knew how to make the most of his show.  He looked like he had been hard for a while, flushed and swollen, but he continued to tease himself every now and then at the behest of the chat.  Mako took his cock in his hand again and tried his best to get back to where he had been when he gave up on DrBoom.

This guy’s face wasn’t as expressive as DrBoom’s.  He was very accommodating and quick to react to requests.  The only thing eccentric about him seemed to be that he dyed his hair and pubes a matching green. Mako couldn’t help noticing that his eyes were a dull gray.  Not as bright and interesting as—

Mako stopped stroking himself and took a deep breath.  No.  He had quit the stream because DrBoom didn’t know shit about what he was doing and didn’t deserve Mako’s time.  He kept interrupting Mako’s wank and wouldn’t listen to a damned thing Mako wanted from him.

God, was he hot though.  His torso was trim and corded with muscle.  He didn’t look like he had an ounce of fat in the wrong place.  His thighs could wrap around Mako’s head and suffocate him and he would thank him later.

Mako’s hand drifted back to his cock and he bit his lip, tugging to the memory of DrBoom’s body and how much he wanted to touch it.  The stream was forgotten until he heard the gasping pants of the cammer about to come.

He wondered what DrBoom sounded like when he got close.  How that stupid accent and reedy, indignant voice would sound around his name.  His too-wide mouth sagging open for Mako.

“F-fuck,” Mako choked out when he finally came.  The first spurt hit the edge of the table, the second roped down across his fingers and he felt the slick run of it as he milked a few more weak dribbles out of himself.

It was the hardest he’d worked for release in a while, but it felt damned good.  Like it was worth the trouble.

Mako cleaned up his hands, table and the floor before settling back down at his laptop.

DrBoom had replied.

 _DrBoom:_ _i think my abs r hotter_

_DrBoom: u were one of two people who tipped wtf?? i had like 15 people at one point??_

Mako stared at the messages and then went to get a snack and some water.  He might be hot but this jackass was dumb as rocks.

When he came back, Mako saw that there were a few more messages.

_DrBoom: wots wrong w/ my tags?_

_DrBoom: i knew i was frgtin smth lol how many bots i need??_

Half of his sandwich disappeared before Mako started typing back.  “if u want my help ur gonna owe me.”

_DrBoom: lmfao su_ _re m8 wotever u want just help me work this gig_

Mako smirked and cracked his neck.  “

_LittlePiggy: ur abs blend in a lot w/ thumbnails_

_LittlePiggy: ur eyes and face will make more ppl click_

DrBoom didn’t believe him, but he was willing to try it.  Mako walked him through a couple of starter bots he would need to greet and thank viewers.  DrBoom found a good list of them online and picked out some others that looked useful.  After that, Mako tried to impress upon him the importance of setting goals.  If he wanted that new camera, he and his viewers had to work for it.

By the time Mako tore his eyes away from the chat window, it was nearly his bedtime.

 _LittlePiggy: im off for the nite_  

_DrBoom: thx for the tips m8_

_D_ _rBoom: both kinds_

_DrBoom: im_ _gona get better @ this!!_

Mako smirked and shut the lid before standing and stretching.  He wasn’t sure if he was going to go back to the stream, but at least the idiot was more open to criticism after only making a few bucks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and a special thanks to Woden's Skadi and Cancel for their wonderful support!

It hurt to watch.

There were bots feeding information through the chat now at least— leaderboards, greetings and thanking watchers for tips.  DrBoom had even managed to rig an overlay.  In the top right, it told the viewers how long he had been going and there was another clock right below it counting down.  When Mako sent a tip, the second clock jumped up a full five minutes.   _Idiot._  He had his price set way too low, which was why he had been going for the past five hours.

_5:40:32_

_00:10:40_

DrBoom’s laptop sat between his feet, showing a lurid view of his ass, balls, and cock.  He was flushed all over; his abs worked to keep him halfway upright, and Mako’s eyes lingered on them before he moved on to take in the rest of the mess on his screen. Sweat and come clung to DrBoom and he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He winced and pulled his hand back from shoving a dildo up his ass to flex his hand and forearm.

_BoomBot: Remember, mates, every token puts another minute on the clock!_

_urmumsbf: dont get tired now slut_

_BoomBot: Thanks BigDick420 for tipping 1 token(s)!_

_LittlePiggy: @urmumsbf if ur not tipping shut the fuck up_

“Guys, my max is gonna be soon.  I reached my goal amount two—fuck… _three_ hours ago,” DrBoom said, squinting down at the clock on his laptop.  

The countdown clock suddenly ticked up again.

_BoomBot: Thanks oloXXXolo for tipping 3 token(s)!_

_BoomBot: Thanks Cum4me for tipping 2 token(s)!_

DrBoom closed his eyes and took a deep breath before rocking his hips toward the dildo, bracing the corner of the base against his bed to give his arm a rest.  “Got any requests for the last tenish minutes?” he asked.

Mako could see that his hole was raw and his dick was soft.  This poor hapless idiot was going to hurt himself.

_LittlePiggy: take a shower_

_Creempie: thats lame._

_tastytreat: i want to see u come again_

_LittlePiggy: go jerkoff in the shower_

_LittlePiggy: clean ur ass out and let us watch_

_callmedaddy: im up for that_

_tastytreat: :O!!_

_Asseater356: o yeahhhh_

As soon as a few people agreed with Mako’s suggestion, the rest of the chat room piled on.  There were only a fraction of them active, but they were the ones who mattered.

DrBoom sat up as best he could and shuffled forward to read the series of messages.

Mako rubbed his cock through his pants and let out a rough sigh.  The view was fantastic.

DrBoom laughed and then lay back to pull the large dildo out with an obscene sucking sound.  “Piggy, you’re a fuckin’ softy,” he said.

Mako tried his best to ignore the affection in DrBoom’s voice.  He just hated watching hot-bodied idiots do stupid shit. 

_LittlePiggy: hurry up i got shit to do_

_tastytreat: yeah!! hurry up!! you probably look real hot all soapy and wet_

_callmedaddy: I bet your legs are going to be jelly lmao_

DrBoom let out an exhausted laugh; it was softer than his usual loud, obnoxious one.  His arms visibly trembled as he used them to scoot off-cam and stand.

The laptop suddenly spun and Mako realized how tall DrBoom actually was as he stood upright and stretched.  A flurry of messages filled the text field while Mako just stared and nearly reached his hand up to touch the screen.

_oloXXXolo: holy shit_

_cumbucket: omg hot_

_tastytreat: doooo that again_

DrBoom raised a thick eyebrow and leaned down to see the messages before grinning widely.  “You thirsty wankers need ta calm down.” He picked up the laptop and carried it at chest level as he walked to the bathroom.  He hummed a tune that sounded oddly familiar, but Mako couldn’t place it.

He used the break to get a fresh beer and stretch a little himself. 

When he came back, the scene on the stream was nearly depressing.  He didn’t know what he had expected, but DrBoom’s bathroom was dismal.  The laptop was probably set on the sink counter and had a pretty decent angle of view on DrBoom’s ass as he leaned over to turn the water on.  There was one bottle of 4-in-1 in the shower and there wasn’t a curtain.  A single, threadbare towel hung from the towel rack next to the shower and there wasn’t a washcloth in sight.  Mako ignored the other chatter and typed his own message.

_LittlePiggy: do u live in a prison?_

DrBoom stopped testing to water and turned to look at the messages popping through.  “Uh… whatcha mean, Piggy?”

Mako snorted and took a swig of beer. 

_LittlePiggy: ur bath looks like a disaster_

DrBoom let out a laugh and shrugged.  “I don’t spend a lot of time in here.  I jump in, scrub down and get out.”

_SecretSucc: Take Your Time, Man_

_BoomBot: Thanks SecretSucc for tipping 5 token(s)!_

DrBoom grinned, and there was a little more simper in it than usual.  “I’ll take all the time you want, mate.”

So much for hitting his “max.”  DrBoom was going to burn out soon and Mako just hoped he didn’t slip and break his neck in the shower.

The clock showed that DrBoom had been streaming for over six hours.  His legs trembled and he nearly bit it when he got into the shower, but once he was standing upright under the spray of water, he seemed to steady.

The water coursed down DrBoom’s body, easing the tension in his shoulders.  He shook his arms out and rubbed his left forearm.  “Fuck, I’ve never fucked that long before.”

Mako gave him a tip, then minimized the chat portion of the stream and leaned back to undo his belt and pants.

“Aw, shit, knew I was forgetting something—thanks for all the tips today, guys.  I know the bot don’t replace me sayin’ it,” he said as he shampooed his hair.  The suds skated down his back, but on his front, they took their time, slowly dripping down line after line of lean, cut muscle.

Mako pulled his cock out and started stroking.

DrBoom glanced at the chat and smiled before he started rubbing his nipples with slick fingertips.  “Yeah?  You think so, mate?”

Mako squeezed firmly at his base and then kept stroking once the spark zipping up his spine settled warmly between his shoulders.  Holy shit, was this guy hot.

DrBoom made his finale last.  He probably enjoyed not having anything inside him, so he scrubbed himself down a few times before finally turning around to let the stream watch him clear all the lubricant from his hole.  His fingers were long and they had him panting and leaning on his arm against the back of the shower.  Mako could hear the chat going off, but it faded into the background of DrBoom’s panting breaths and curses.

“God,” DrBoom groaned and his hips bucked forward.

Mako squeezed hard around his cock and rolled his eyes back as the pleasure rocketed through him.  He thought of fucking DrBoom in his shower.  The whole stream watching.  Mako’s bulk hiding the main attraction from all those shitheads.

DrBoom stopped fingering himself and stretched again.  The muscles across his back rippled and his spare ass flexed.  He heard the chat notifying and he wiggled his hips, long torso winding back and forth like a snake.  Mako watched the way his muscles moved and his ass cheeks clenched.  Imagined his come leaking from DrBoom’s ass instead of soap suds…

“Fuck,” Mako groaned, his hips snapping up out of his chair and his fist squeezing as come shot out across his pant leg and then dribbled down to leak across his fingers.  “Holy shit,” he muttered.

“Ugh, fuck,” DrBoom grumbled on the screen.  Once his legs weren’t clenched, they started shaking and he leaned against the wall heavily.  “Shit… think I’m going to spend all day in bed, mates,” DrBoom said with a soft laugh.  “Probably face down,” he added.

Mako took short deep breaths and basked in his release.  DrBoom’s voice wasn’t as annoying when it was filling the void left by the soft, warm bliss of orgasm.  Until he let out a high, grating laugh at something said in the chat and Mako took it back.  His voice was still fucking awful.

Mako snorted and turned the volume off of his laptop.  He dragged the front of his pants back together before standing and beginning to move around.  He collected his laundry and did the few dishes he had before glancing at the movement on his laptop and snorting.

DrBoom had forgotten his cam on again.  He lay naked on his bed, stomach down and with his laptop sitting in front of him, cup ramen in his hand.  He laughed at something, and even when he thought he was alone his laugh was _too fucking much_ for Mako.  It made him wince and wonder why he had even come back to this cammer.  

He pulled the chat window back up under the excuse that he was going to yell at him for leaving his cam up, but he stopped and watched when DrBoom slurped some noodles up and rubbed the broth from his nose.  DrBoom doing something so unsexy as slurping ramen naked on his come-stained sheets shouldn’t make him pause, but it reminded him of his last boyfriend.  The soft swell of affection, of seeing the personal and silly parts of a person flared up and Mako sighed heavily before typing into the chat. 

_LittlePiggy: are you expecting tips for this?_

DrBoom made a surprised squeak when he heard the chat alert and he nearly spilled his ramen all over the place trying to juggle it to the side and check it.

“Oh!  ‘lo, Piggy!” DrBoom’s face lit up and he rolled away from the camera to set the ramen down, then rolled back over on his stomach.  “Didn’t know you were still hanging about.”

Mako snorted, rolled his eyes and typed out a reply.

_LittlePiggy: wasnt just came back_

“Sorry if me getting a bit of tuck was disappointing,” DrBoom said.  He folded his arms and rested his chin on them.

_It wasn’t._

_LittlePiggy: you going to make it up to me?_

DrBoom grinned and his bright eyes came up from looking at the screen to actually looking at the camera.  Mako felt his heart squeeze.  God, he needed to get actually laid.

“What’s it gonna take?” DrBoom asked.

Mako started typing, then stopped as his conscience pricked at him.  

_LittlePiggy: what do you charge for one-on-ones?_

DrBoom pursed his lips and his thick brows furrowed.  “Dunno, a fiver maybe?”

_LittlePiggy: a fiver for what? an hour?_

DrBoom raised a brow and shifted.  “Uh, is that too much?” he asked.

Mako stared at the screen and nearly quit right then.  What an absolute idiot.  Streamers half as hot as him charged twice that, and he didn’t specify a time limit.  Mako rubbed his hands across his face and took a deep breath. 

_LittlePiggy: you owe me two things now_

And with that, Mako began to explain the importance of hourly pricing to an absolute fucking dumbass with a hot body and pretty eyes.

“Oh, so that’s why everyone has a billion tags,” DrBoom said.

_LittlePiggy: im getting tired of typing_

_LittlePiggy: ur about to owe me a third thing_

DrBoom made a face and stuck out his tongue at the screen.  “Told you you could do voice chat.  I don’t judge if you’re a… weird voice person, or a sheila.”  He stared at the camera like he was seriously trying to decide whether he thought Mako had a stupid voice or was a woman.

_LittlePiggy: my voice is so cool i would be charging u_

DrBoom let out that stupid laugh and Mako ignored that it didn’t immediately annoy him.  Again.  “Sure,” DrBoom said cheekily.  “How come you know so much about all this shit?”

_LittlePiggy: this is how I get off between relationships_

Mako nearly typed, “ _im kind of an asshole so im between relationships a lot,_ ” but backspaced it quickly.  He wasn’t about to start oversharing.

“Aces,” DrBoom grinned, then it broke awkwardly and he looked uncertain for a second.  “Not that you shouldn’t have a relationship or anything.  Just wouldn’t have met ya if you did.”

Mako raised a brow at the screen and leaned forward to type.  

_LittlePiggy: so u got ur tags fixed and a ok picture_

“Hey, what’s wrong with my new picture?!  You said to change it to one of me face!”  DrBoom pouted and his ridiculous eyebrows furrowed again.  Mako had seen the expression so much that it was starting to look cute instead of dumb.  He needed to branch out to other cammers or go find a boyfriend.  Maybe he would go out during the weekend, get some fresh air, put on his leather jacket and stand ominously in the back of a gay bar until someone decided to be brave.

_LittlePiggy: its grainy_

_LittlyPiggy: go buy ur new camera soon or im telling everyone ur scammin_

“Shit!  Right! I can afford that camera now.”  DrBoom wiggled and shifted and grunted into sitting up and dragged his laptop onto his legs.  “Ow…” he shifted on his ass uncomfortably.  “New time limit for fucking myself with a large is two hours.”

_LittlePiggy: oh no.  i need at least three to get off_

DrBoom didn’t react immediately, likely clicking around an electronics site to make the purchase.

Mako knew when he clicked back over to the chat because his face lit up and he let out a soft chuckle.  “I owe you three favors, right?” DrBoom pointed out with a wink.

_LittlePiggy: next time wink at the camera and it might be charming_

DrBoom’s face twisted and his eyes bounced up to the camera instead of south of it.  “I keep forgetting,” he said, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip and his nose wrinkling.

_LittlePiggy: last warning_

Mako should click away, close his laptop and leave.  He knew himself too well.

DrBoom stuck his tongue out and it scrunched his nose playfully.  “It’s nice to have a one-on-one.  Having a bunch of people in here is fun ‘n’ all, but shit is it exhausting.  Dunno who I need to talk to first,” DrBoom admitted and shifted to lie back down.  His toes scratched his ankle in the background and he rolled his shoulders, causing his back to crack a few times.

_LittlePiggy: keep track of who tips_

DrBoom snorted and rolled his eyes.  “Memory’s not great, mate.  Feels worse when I’m trying to keep track of twenty people with the same username.  You know how many variations of ‘cumslut’ there are? Crickey.”

_LittlePiggy: more than there are piggies?_

DrBoom laughed at that and shrugged.  “Pretty much.  Y’stick out, and you were my first tipper.  Sure way to remember ya.”

_LittlePiggy: u look like ur getting more viewers.  u have a mod yet?_

DrBoom shrugged helplessly.  

Mako sighed heavily.

_LittlePiggy: they help monitor that stuff so you can focus on being hot.  or whatever you are_

DrBoom broke out in a fit of honest-to-God giggles at the put-down.  Mako tried to ignore it and move on.

_LittlePiggy: some mods do it for free and are part of the stream_

_LittlePiggy: sometimes u hire them and they act as a manager and organize ur 1v1s and monitor ur chat they just get a percentage of ur tips_

DrBoom hummed and shifted from side to side like a child trying to stay interested.  “How do you know so much, Piggy?  You streamed before?”

_LittlePiggy: no_

“Well, you wanna be my mod?”

Just what he needed.  To get closer to this asshat.

_LittlePiggy: no_

“Come on, you have to have some kind of experience camming! You know everything!”  DrBoom pressed.

_LittlePiggy: i prefer the show_

“Bet you could,” DrBoom said in a slight sing-song.  “Bet you’re real pretty.”

Mako felt his face burning.

_LittlePiggy: stop_

DrBoom grinned widely and leaned closer to the laptop.  “Pretty piggy!” he said, his words dripping delight, sounding like sunshine and laughter.

Mako shut his laptop and rubbed his hands against his face.  What an asshole.  What an absolute shithead.

And Mako had just spent nearly an hour just chatting with him.  He needed to go get laid.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and a special thanks to Woden's Skadi, Cancel, one-irradiated-muppet, and Shanks as well as the rest of my supporters.

Mako sighed as he walked through the door and let his tools fall with a heavy clatter.  The clothing, three sizes smaller than Mako’s own, that had littered his apartment over the past two months was nowhere to be seen. When he checked the spare drawer in his bathroom, it was empty.  

He was really gone.  Mako felt a mix of an ache and satisfaction.  He’d known it wouldn’t work out from the start, but it was fun while it lasted.  There was always something untenable, something the men Mako decided to date just couldn’t stand.  Two of them weren’t okay with his sedentary lifestyle, yet they still loved how soft he was.  Another realized that he wasn’t about to be a sugar daddy for him and had actually turned down several offers to make more money in favor of just doing what he always did— he didn’t want to direct people and keep up with them, that was annoying as shit.  The most recent guy thought that jerking off to someone else was cheating.  They fought, Mako ignored his texts asking to “work things out,” which nearly always meant he would have to admit that _he_ was wrong.  Mako wasn’t going to stop watching porn just because he has someone to physically touch.  He wouldn’t ask that of someone else.

Mako’s shower was strangely lonely, and an ache settled in his stomach as he fixed a couple of frozen meals and then sat down in front of his laptop.  It felt like a year since he had logged into Overcrotch, but it was actually only a month or so.

He wasn’t sure if DrBoom was going to succeed or fail without him to pick at his method, but his viewer count showed four digits, so he wasn’t doing badly.  It took Mako a long, long moment to figure out what the fuck was going on, though.

Boom was wearing a wig and a tank top, the collar of which was stretched out to hold two water balloons against his chest and he was rouged up with poorly applied makeup.

“Oh? You want to see them bounce?” He asked in a falsetto.  He started jumping a little to jiggle the balloons.  His thin lips and cheeks were as close as they could get to a feminine pout.

Mako wanted to leave, but he couldn’t look away from the giggling train wreck on the screen.  Especially when one of the balloons exploded and DrBoom jumped with a shriek.  He hastily caught the remaining balloon and the wig fell forward over his eyes.

The chat blew up with textual laughter and Mako found himself uncertain if he wanted to laugh or cry.  He nearly left the stream, but settled for walking away from his laptop to get a beer.  He would go back later, once he’d figured out what the fuck he was doing with his life that he wanted to watch that fuck up do anything.

“Piggy!” a warmth subsumed his belly at the delighted tone DrBoom used to greet him, and he reluctantly returned to his half-eaten meal and the lowbrow stream with a gaggle of shitheads telling Boom to strip his wet shirt off nice and slow.  

_Goddess: First warning @likmyxxx, @prickly, and @bux4fux.  Second warning @8008pen15.  Final warning @Jerald. Tip or quiet down._

Mako raised a brow at the fact that Boom seemed to have picked up a mod while he was gone.

_LittlePiggy: looks like u got a fancy mod now_

DrBoom grinned and shrugged. “Oh, y’know, had to class the place up a bit.”

_LittlePiggy: yeah? balloon boobs are real classy_

Boom laughed and picked at his wet shirt, but it immediately plastered itself back against his chest.  Mako licked his lips and his hands typed in the command to tip like it was second nature, totally missing Boom’s response.

_LittlePiggy: that wet shirt is distracting. why dont u peel it off?_

DrBoom grinned and winked at him before typing and clicking a few times.  An overlay popped up with a goal, starring Mako’s tip as the first drop in the bucket.  “Only if you lot reach this goal in five minutes.  By then, it’ll probably be dry and boring…” Boom pulled a cheeky pout that looked ridiculous with his thin face but Mako gave him another, smaller tip to speed up the process.  He had learned while Mako was away.  As he stretched out on his damp bed, Mako saw that he had a new tattoo beneath the swell of his right bicep.   _Nothing is free._

_LittlePiggy: whend u get the tat?_

DrBoom flexed his lean arm and Mako rolled his eyes.  “What tat?” he asked innocently.

 _LittlePiggy_ : _behave_

Boom laughed and sat back up.  “You’re gonna have to make me.”

Mako snorted and sent him a private message.

_LittlePiggy: you still owe me a private show.  have time for a proper welcome back after the stream proper?_

By his count, Boom actually still owed him two private shows. Boom cut off in the middle of talking to someone in order to answer him, typing back:

_DrBoom: angle helped me with my pricing… and it’s by the hour now instead of by the session. u good with one hour?_

_LittlePiggy: sounds like there’s a story behind that_

DrBoom laughed and winked at the camera.  “There’s always a story, Piggy.  I’ll tell you _later_.”

_Cdumpumster: what story???_

_8008pen15: dont play favs.  put on a show for all of us_

DrBoom wrinkled his nose and typed a message before leveling his gaze at the camera.  “Mate, you’re not even tipping, get the fuck out of my stream, Boob.”  

_@8008pen15 has been kicked for 30 minutes._

Mako smirked and sent Boom another direct message.

_LittlePiggy: you get a thousand viewers and now you’re mad with power?_

DrBoom smiled and was about to say something when the overlay on his stream flashed and cartoon money signs fell from the top of the screen.  “Made it!” he announced with a grin.

Boom braced his hands on his bed and in a feat of dexterity and strength, he moved from sitting on his ass to kneeling. “Think it’s dried out a bit,” he pointed out, pulling at his shirt.  He reached off to the side and brought the second balloon up for the stream to see.  “Guess I should reup, eh?” he asked with a grin.

Mako rested his chin on his hand and watched in bemused discomfort as Boom purposefully popped the second water balloon all over himself and his bed.  Mako left a small tip before he minimized the rapidly moving chat. The delight on Boom’s face made him smirk, and the drops of water running down his skin were tempting enough to get Mako’s palm pressing against his cock through his pants.

He probably tasted like salty sweat and cool water.  Mako forced his hand up from his lap to rest on the table and began peeling the label from his beer off of the bottle as something to keep him occupied while Boom slowly, sensually, worked the wet shirt off and then “suddenly realized” that his pants were damp too.

Mako watched, tortured and horny as DrBoom lay across his wet sheets and jerked himself off.  He had his back propped up on two pillows so that his expressive face could be seen as he made long, slow passes along his prick.  When he finally came, it was with his right hand clutching the wet sheets while his left hand finished the job.

DrBoom scrubbed at the come on his stomach with a wet corner of sheet before looking up and crawling forward to lie with his flushed face smiling at the camera. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” he asked with a cheeky wink.

Mako was worried about the integrity of his pants, but he wanted DrBoom all to himself for an entire hour. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to do with him for all that time.  In the state he was in, it would only take a few minutes for him to come.

He got so lost in wondering what the fuck he was going to do that he nearly missed DrBoom’s DM about cleaning up and that he would “be back in a tick.”

“A tick” was barely half a minute, so Mako was dubious about how much he actually cleaned up.  When he came back, though, there was a dry blanket thrown over his bed, his hair appeared damp and tousled, and he had shorts and a tank top on.  He looked like he would fit perfectly under Mako’s arm on the couch.  While an appealing (and admittedly lonely) fantasy, coming and then watching a movie together sounded stupid.

“Hey,” Boom said, adjusting his new camera so that it focused more on his face than his entire body.  Once it cut off at his waist, he grinned and sat back, his elbows resting on his spread knees.

_LittlePiggy: hey_

“So, you got me for an hour.  Wanna try roleplaying again? I’ve been practicing!” Boom said, sounding genuinely excited at the prospect.

Mako wasn’t sure he could maintain his erection through coaching Boom around another scenario. 

_LittlePiggy: next time_

_LittlePiggy: whats ur fav thing to do to blokes?_

Boom pouted at being told he wouldn’t be reprising his role as the slutty motorcycle shop attendant.  When the conversation moved back into what _he_ likes, however, he grinned and scooted closer to the camera, like it was a secret.  “Mate, I’m the best at giving handjobs.”

Mako snorted and was already typing to tell him to fuck off when Boom continued: “Stay with me! I know they’re underrated and it may _seem_ like it would be the same as just doing it yourself, but trust me— I know your dick better than you do and _I give the best handjobs_.”

Mako huffed out a laugh.

_LittlePiggy: not saying i dont believe u_

_LittlePiggy: but watching you touch a dildo sounds like a waste of an hour_

DrBoom raised his hands and shrugged.  “Listen, I’m just saying that someday I’m going to talk you through the best dick touching you’ve ever had and you’re going to beg to come get it from the source,” he said.

Mako rolled his eyes.

_LittlePiggy: you tell all your 1v1s that?_

Boom chuckled and reached back to drag his pillows forward so that he could lean back while still keeping his face visible.  “Nah, mate, just my Pretty Piggy,” he said with an overly exaggerated wink.

Mako found himself smiling even as he cringed at the stupid nickname.

_LittlePiggy: shut up_

_LittlePiggy: whats ur second favorite thing to do?_

Boom hummed and stretched.  Mako drank it in while he waited for the response.  He still had his shirt on, but it was somehow almost as appealing as if he had stripped it off.  The tank top’s arms were ludicrously stretched so that Boom’s ribs were visible and when he leaned far enough to one side, Mako could see one of his nipples through the arm hole.  Maybe he should just make him strip and stretch for an hour.  That sounded interesting, and like it might be appealing even after he’d come.

“Hmm… probably fucking a nice warm hole, yeah?  Teasing it open—“ Mako interrupted Boom with a quick message.

_LittlePiggy: ur just telling me shit u think I want to hear_

Boom’s eyes went wide as he pressed a hand to his chest.  “I would _never_ ,” he said indignantly.

_LittlePiggy: ur full of it_

_LittlePiggy: ive seen ur face with a dildo in ur ass_

“Alright, maybe I’m full of it…” Boom admitted, grinning ruefully.  “Or I’d rather be,” he quipped with a high, hearty laugh.  His hands picked at the hem of his shorts and he leaned forward with a cheery smile.  “I do like to suck cock more than I like to get fucked, though.”

_LittlePiggy: whats ur biggest dildo look like?_

Boom raised his big, expressive eyebrows before rolling off the bed to dig underneath.  He tossed a large blue dildo, an orange one a bit shorter but thicker, and a frankly _massive_ pink and purple cock that was not shaped at all like a human dick.  Boom followed them back up and stretched out on his stomach with the dildos in his arms.  He spread them out in front of him and reached up to adjust the camera to show both him and the dildos on the bed.  “These are the biggest ones I have,” he said, laying them out and propping his chin on his hands.  “Pick your poison, mate.”

Mako hummed and sat back in his chair.  He’d seen Boom take the orange cock before and made a note to ask about the pink and purple one later, but the blue cock appeared to have a thick foreskin and was the closest to his size.

_LittlePiggy: the blue one_

Boom grinned and placed his hand on it before drawing the moveable foreskin back toward the base. “You uncut, Piggy?” he asked.  

_LittlePiggy: most people are_

Boom snorted and swept the other two dildos from the bed, letting them thud onto the floor.  “Alright, so you’re not American.”

_LittlePiggy: you keep wanting to talk instead of sucking the cock i picked_

Boom let out a laugh and ran his hand up and down the shaft of the dildo to show how mobile the foreskin was.  “Alright, alright… quickest way to shut me up is to shove a cock in my mouth,” he admitted as he adjusted himself on his bed to sit up.  

Mako finally undid his pants when Boom began suckling the tip of the cock.  Boom pulled off and hummed, then reached back to the shelves behind his bed for a tube of lubricant.  He squeezed a good amount out onto the tip and then eagerly smeared it along the shaft and foreskin before he began taking the dildo in again.

Mako’s gut was impressive, but that meant that he couldn’t watch a gobbie without a mirror.  Which was why watching Boom suck and moan all the way to the base of the dildo made Mako’s cock throb so hard.  He began touching himself with a soft word of praise, then jerked himself properly when Boom pulled off with a string of spit and lube.  He jerked the dildo a few times, licking his thin wet lips and flashing the camera a lecherous smile.  “You like it deep or just the tip?” he asked, pressing slow, soft kisses against the revealed head of the dildo.

Mako paused slowly jerking himself to reply.

_LittlePiggy: do what you like_

_LittlePiggy: stop making me type_

Boom winked at the camera, then sucked the dildo down again, taking it deep until Mako wasn’t sure if he was able to breath.  He jerked himself harder, pressing his thumb to the head and imagining Boom’s throat against him.

It didn’t take long.  A few long, slow bobs and Boom shoving the dildo damn near down his throat a few times, and Mako came in his hand.

_LittlePiggy: fuck u go deep_

Boom sucked his way off the dildo with an obscene slurp before giving the camera a cheeky grin, his tongue lolling out at Mako.  “I got some asphyxiation interest, so I don’t mind getting my throat fucked.”

Mako really wished he could go again so quickly.

_LittlePiggy: jerk off again if u feel like it_

_LittlePiggy: i was already nearly gone from the stream_

_LittlePiggy: maybe a waste of an hour_

Boom laughed and set the dildo to the side.  Mako could see his shorts tenting and envied how young he was if he could be ready to go so quickly after jerking off for the stream.

“Doesn’t have to be a waste of an hour!  I like talking to ya.  Maybe you’ll get it back up and I can give you that instructional handjob,” Boom teased, shifting to lie on his back.

Mako hummed and cleaned his hand up.  

“I’m guessin’ that ‘Break the Ice’ guy didn’t work out?” Boom asked after a moment of silence.

Mako huffed at the reminder of his latest failed relationship.  They had talked about him a little, but Mako hadn’t really needed Boom after the first month of dating.  That was when he nearly moved in and things were good for a while.  Then Mako fucked it up, as usual.  His response was a little more clipped than the question really warranted.  Maybe.

_LittlePiggy: wouldnt be watching u suck a dildo if I had a mouth to fuck_

Boom sat up to grab his laptop and read Mako’s message with pursed lips.  “Yeah, I figured.  Don’t gotta talk about it if it’s sore.”

Mako ran his hands through his hair and pushed his chair back from the table.  On the screen, Boom lay back down with the laptop on his chest and the camera angled down so that Mako could see his face stare up at the ceiling.  

_LittlePiggy: why do you cam?_

Boom glanced at the screen and then smirked.  “Oh, mate.  Me mum’s sick and I lost me job.  Had to drop out of school and—“

_LittlePiggy: bullshit_

_LittlePiggy: bullshit_

_LittlePiggy: bullshit_

Boom laughed at Mako’s rapid reaction and he shrugged before staring back up at the ceiling.  “I have a shit work ethic and jerking off for money sounded easy enough.”

Mako carried his laptop with him to get a beer.  He let his pants fall down and stepped out of them on the way.  He paused at the counter to type before opening the fridge for the beer.

_LittlePiggy: dont have a shit work ethic_

_LittlePiggy: u do a lot of work for ur stream_

Boom stared at the words, his eyes darting back and forth, rereading them several times before laughing and shrugging. “Yeah you’re right.  Shit.  This is the first job I’ve had where I don’t mind working my ass off.”

_LittlePiggy: see?_

“You’re pretty smart, Piggy.”

_LittlePiggy: better be by this point_

Boom squinted at the camera.  “I don’t know anything about you.  How old are you?”

_LittlePiggy: none of ur business_

“Aw come on I just acted like I was sucking your huge dick fantasy!  Give me something…” Boom whined, rolling over and placing the laptop on the bed so that he could more effectively pout at Mako.

Mako hesitated before rolling his eyes and just going for it.  Describing his prick wasn’t going to fuck him any more than he already was.

_LittlePiggy: the huge dick isnt a fantasy_

“Oh?  So ‘LittlePiggy’ isn’t so little?” Boom teased.

Mako knew it was coming and yet he still felt his cheeks heat in a pleased blush. He rubbed his face to get it to go away with one hand while sipping his beer with the other.  

_LittlePiggy: ur still not a dr_

“Hey!” Boom laughed, flicking the camera attached to the top of his screen, causing it to bob.  “That’s a low blow, mate.  Didn’t I tell you me mum was sick and I lost my job? Way to kick a man while he’s down.”

Mako smiled and stood at his counter for the rest of the hour with a barely touched beer, eagerly typing to some jackass with a webcam and a handsome smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and a special thanks to Woden's Skadi, Cancel, one-irradiated-muppet, and Shanks. I'd also like to thank all of my supporters for their support, it really means a lot to me!

It has been two months since DrBoom dropped out of Mako’s life.  Mako hasn’t been on Overcrotch in over a month.  He suspended his subscription entirely, figuring it would be better to distance himself from it, focus on work and less on his worry about DrBoom.  Goddess said he wasn’t dead in a ditch. Mako takes solace in that at least.

He sent messages to the other big patrons DrBoom had, checking to see if they had heard anything from him— at this point he just wants to know that he’s okay.  Jack, xxx69, and shortbutthick were no help, either not responding at all or telling him to go jerk off to another twink.  Callmedaddy at least shared his concern and agreed to let him know if he heard anything.

Mako started leaving his phone in his bike bag after a few days of no contact.  He felt phantom buzzes that distracted him from completing tasks and every 2 for 1 hoagie email got his hopes up that DrBoom might have messaged him. He barely resisted the urge to message Boom a million times and kept his contact to two messages.  One to his Overcrotch inbox, and one to his personal email— there’s a drunk email that he doesn’t really count because it’s illegible and embarrassing and it frankly hurt deep that Boom wouldn’t at least let him know he’s laughing at him.

A few weeks ago, he began carrying it on him again, the paranoia a little dimmer, the hope a little less.

He works, goes home, eats, sleeps, wakes up and works again.  Sometimes he tries to go out, but it’s hard to encourage the brave men who sit beside him and allow their feet to rest on the rungs of his barstool anymore.  He more often than not just cuts them off, tells them he’s not looking for anything more than booze.  A few caught him just drunk enough to chase the promise of companionship, if only for a night.  He’s not dumb enough to try a real relationship— not that what he and Boom had was a relationship.  It was more online friends with benefits. Thinking about it always leaves him feeling worse— until it doesn’t anymore.  

Mako tries to get into other cammers in the weeks following DrBoom’s disappearance. YungNumOne has the attitude and the body, but not the same spark.  He’s cute, his green hair is weird enough, but he’s not DrBoom.

He doesn’t really care for older men, though it feels hypocritical at times. Their schtick tends to be gritty stories and gruff voices, which is just too fucking similar to Mako for him to want to get off on it.  The way he sees it is that if he wanted to fuck himself, he would masturbate and be done with it.

Mako wants color and passion, joy and laughter.  He wants a man who still enjoys being himself, who hasn’t outgrown his own heart.

Mako drags his respirator down and pulls his gloves off as he heads for his bike, going through the motions of life again.  Work done, head home. 

Maybe trying Overcrotch again will be good for him.  It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.  

He’s brought out of his achy plod by a hand grabbing his shoulder.  He turns his head and the foreman, Ted, grins, unperturbed by Mako’s relative size or blank stare.  “Mate, I’ve got a job for you.”

“Thought I _had_ one,” Mako says wryly.

“I’ve got a _better_ job for you,” Ted assures him.  “I want you to run a build,” he tells him.  “We won a contract across the pond and it’s slotted for the same month as the apartments we recently won the bid on.  I told the big boss we could handle it so long as we had the hands.”

Mako huffs and shakes his head.  “I don’t travel,” he says.

“That’s fine! I’ll take the Aussie job and you can run the apartments job.  You’ll get foreman experience and pay for the duration and they might even keep you on permanent if you like it,” Ted presses, obviously set on both jobs running in the same month.

“I don’t want to be a foreman,” Mako says.  Ted’s broad shoulders wilt and Mako sighs.  Well… what’s the difference between putting up a wall and _telling people_ to put up a wall?  “I’ll run the apartments,” he agrees.

Ted perks up.

“This once,” he follows up firmly.

Ted smacks Mako’s shoulder and then shakes the tingles from his fingers with a laugh.  “Aces, I’ll let them know.”

Mako grunts and continues to his motorcycle.  The rattle and roar jolt his joints all the way home.  Maybe some time standing by and supervising would give his body a rest.

Everything feels heavy as Mako slumps through the door of his apartment.  His shoulders are hunched and the center of his back aches despite the baback brace he wears for work.  He sighs heavily and lets his work bag thump to the floor.  A plume of drywall puffs up, and he kicks the bag with a snort and a phlegmy cough.

He’s hungry and he needs a shower.  He glances at his laptop, shut and with a thin layer of dust on the case.  Overcrotch suddenly seems too daunting— crawling through twinks and twunks trying to find someone to his liking…

Mako’s stomach growls as he sits at the table and carefully opens the lid of his laptop.  Maybe something he knows he likes.  Someone.

Mako hits the power button and navigates to his folder of one-on-one videos.

It’s chock full of thumbnails with a freckled young man.  His orange eyes and wide, excitable smile bring a small smirk to Mako’s lips.  His chest twinges as he scrolls all the way to the bottom and selects the oldest video.

Mako lets out a full-bodied sigh as the video starts.

_Boom grins at the camera and unzips his pants quickly.  He cups himself and begins jerking off, giving himself slow, lazy tugs.  He’s wearing a tank top and his ripped and stained jeans are barely scooched down enough for him to touch his cock. “You like to see my face, so I’m not sure what camera angle is the best…” he admits.  A message pings and a rueful grimace twists his lips.  “Uh… yeah… a whole hour…”_

_Another message pings and the grimace turns into an innocent smile.  “Not... exactly…?”_

_Another message._

_“Too long, mate,” Boom says before giving his prick a firm wag at the camera.  “Back to business._

_Ping._

_“Uh…” Boom carefully tucks his erection back into his jeans and buttons back up.  “Sure, I mean, I’m open to it.”_

_Several messages, and he slumps down on his bed to read them with pursed lips._

_“A mechanic’s shop, huh?  I can probably swing that.  What did you bring in?” He asks, standing and nervously adjusting the camera so that he doesn’t get his head or arm cut off if he’s moving around.  “Yeah?  You a motorcycle guy?  That’s pretty cool.  Alright, so you’re bringing your bike in for me to work on and I’ll uh…” he brings his pillows to the middle of the bed and lounges on them with a grin.  “So I’m layin’ across your bike, and I tell you, ’the bike fixin’ is gonna cost ya,’ “ he says._

_A few rapid messages follows and Boom’s face falls.  “Right… now you’re just being difficult— it’s like you don’t want to get off… oh… yeah, I guess that’s right,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Thought that’s why you asked for this, though.  Thought you already wanted me.”_

_There’s a beat of silence and then a message pings._

_DrBoom grins again and relaxes back on the pillows.  “That almost sounds like you like me, Piggy.”_

_Silence again, or as near as Boom can get to it, then a message._

_Boom snorts and sticks his tongue out cheekily.  “Hey, mate, I never said you were in love with me.  It’s just nice to know such a discerning Piggy would go for my ass, though.  At your rate of play, we’ll be here all night, Mr. Motorcycle Man.”  The way he says it is breathy and over the top._

Mako still remembers how hard he laughed when it first happened.  He’s so stupid and cute and ridiculous.

Mako doesn’t bother touching himself, just leans forward and watches DrBoom get walked through a nearly proper scene by his messages.  He barely remembers what he said.  Most of it was chastising with the odd encouragement.  Probably.  That’s what all of his messages seemed like.

Mako sighs and pauses the video to get up and make himself dinner.  He doesn’t feel turned on, just sad.  Maybe this was a bad idea.  He returns to the laptop with his food and sits and stares at the screen for a while.  Boom is crouched on his bed, shirtless and with a surprisingly interesting view of his narrow ass as he works on Mako’s “bike.”

Mako eats and stares at Boom’s ass, reluctant to press play again and hear his voice.  Maybe a few more months would be better for him.

He sets his empty plate aside and settles back in his chair.  He links his fingers across his gut as he stares at the narrow, muscular back. The way the jeans frame Boom’s ass makes Mako’s cock stir a bit.  His hair is a little less shaggy than it is in later videos.  Mako reaches forward to press play and then settles his hand on his cock, rubbing through his pants as he watches the lithe body on the screen pretend to work on the bike… while moving his ass up and down. 

Mako undoes his pants and begins stroking himself properly when DrBoom “finishes” with his bike and begins flirting with him.  If Mako remembers correctly, he finally started playing along and told Boom he couldn’t pay for the work right then.

_“Maybe you can pay for it in another way…”_

Mako squeezes the base of his cock and lets his head roll back as Boom keeps talking.

_“Well, we take the three C’s at Boom’s… uh… Business…” he clears his throat and smirks.  “Besides cash, I take credit… and cock.”_

Mako snorts and brings his head back up to watch Boom turn his back to the camera and shimmying out of his jeans.  He smacks his own ass and gives it a squeeze.  Mako tightens his grip and twists his hand around his cock, sighing in contentment as Boom squeezes lube onto his fingers and begins to open himself up.

He reaches for the keyboard and pauses halfway through typing, “turn around,” one handed when he remembers that this isn’t live.  Mako stares at the screen as Boom turns around anyway and peers at the chat box before barking out a laugh.  

_“Right, mate.  You like my face, huh?”_

Mako arches into his hand with a low groan.  “Cheeky cunt,” he grumbles.

_“Is it my handsome looks?”_

A low chuckle leaves Mako.  

 _“That hurts, mate.”  He gasps and groans as he fingers himself open.  “Hurts…_ real _bad.”_

A message dings on his phone, but Mako keeps jerking himself, focused on Boom’s slack mouth and half-lidded eyes.  Another one pops up and Mako leans forward to silence his phone, but he stops when he sees the name: DrBoom.

Mako taps on the message, his hand leaving his dick as he hurries to navigate through his passcode and open the message properly.

_7:40 PM DrBoom: hey piggy_

_7:41 PM DrBoom: i got ur messages_

Another message comes through just as Mako finally figures out that he wants to reply.

_7:42 PM DrBoom: im alive_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and a special thanks to Woden's Skadi, Cancel, one-irradiated-muppet, and Shanks. I'd also like to thank everyone for supporting me, it really means a lot!

_7:42 PM DrBoom: im alive_

Mako stares at the message for far longer than he intends to.  Boom is alive.  He’s fine.  He’s _back._  All the fear and depression that has plagued Mako for the past two months feels so far away.

_7:45 PM DrBoom: thats fine ill just talk to myself til u get back_

Mako wipes the precome and lotion from his right hand and opens his web browser to pull up Overcrotch, preferring the laptop to his cramped phone keyboard.  

_7:45 PM DrBoom: been a shitty few months_

_7:47 PM DrBoom: been out of the hosp a few weeks but only just goolied up to turn on the comp_

Mako’s hands hover over the keyboard, but he waits for more information.  He was in the hospital for all that time?  Jesus…. what does he fucking say to that?

_7:48 PM DrBoom: a/w_

_7:49 PM DrBoom: shoot me a dm if u dont hate me_

_7:50 PM DrBoom: disapearin like that is pretty shit_

_7:51 PM DrBoom: fuck idk what i wanna say_

_7:53 PM DrBoom: sorry_

_7:54 PM LittlePiggy: hey_

Mako waits for a response, but it doesn’t come.  He stays put a few more minutes before shutting his laptop and tucking his flagging erection away.  Of all the fucking times he decides to try and get off… 

Mako rubs his face and takes a deep breath.  Caked dirt flakes off of his forehead and Mako grimaces before heading into his room to shower.  

DrBoom messages him twice while he’s cleaning up.

_8:20 PM DrBoom: heyyyyy_

_8:21 PM DrBoom: what u been up to_

Mako types, “missing you,” before he doubts himself and backspaces it.  

_8:24 PM LittlePiggy: nm. what about u?_

Mako puts on boxers and lays in bed, staring at his phone and feeling… so many things—relief, anxiety, trepidation.  It’s so weird after two months of trying not to feel anything.

Boom doesn’t reply before Mako falls asleep, and when he wakes up the next morning, there’s another message.  

_10:09 PM DrBoom: fuck we keep missin eachother_

_6:03 AM LittlePiggy: yeah._

Mako has trouble making it out the door.  As he gets ready, he keeps looking at his phone and rereading the messages Boom sent him the previous night, trying to figure out what the fuck had happened.

There are no clues.  He was in the hospital for a month or more.  He’s probably having a rough time.  Work is going to be torture and he might get caught checking his phone every ten seconds.

_6:45 AM LittlePiggy: ill b home at my usual time_

_6:45 AM LittlePiggy: if u wanna talk_

When Mako gets to work, he checks for a reply from Boom before tucking his phone into the saddle bag on his bike and locking it.  He slips his respirator over his head and ties his hair back before heading into the job site.

His heart feels like it’s clenched in a vice.  Boom is back.  He was just getting over him and now he’s back.  He was _in the hospital_ and now Mako has to focus on work.  Fuck.

“Mako!” Ted calls him over when he spots him, then returns to briefing the two other workers he was talking to.

Mako takes a deep breath and walks over.  “Yeah?” he asks.

“I’m gonna need you t’stick around after work today ‘n’ talk about the apartments, meet with the lot owners, Bruce and… can’t remember his wife’s name…” he mumbles, looking down at his clipboard and flipping a page to see if he can find it. 

“Fuck...” Mako sighs before he can stop himself.  

Ted looks up from his clipboard with a raised brow.  “What? You got a hot date or something?”

Mako wrinkles his nose behind his mask and purses his lips.  The only thing Ted can see is his eyes narrowing.  “Yeah.”

“Hey, mate, it was just a joke, but I do need to jump on it pretty quick.  This place’s almost done and it’ll cut down on the between time for the laborers, less chance we’ll lose ‘em...” Ted points out, pulling out his phone and tapping around on it.  “Hm… Bruce don’t have another free day besides Saturday,” he says.  “Can your sheila or whatever you’re doing wait?”

Mako snorts and scratches his stomach.  “Yeah, he can wait,” Mako says, figuring _he_ had already dealt with two months of not talking to Boom, the gangly idiot can wait another hour or two and so can Mako.

_10:30 AM DrBoom: ill try to be up round you gettin off_

_12:07 PM LittlePiggy: itll be an hour or two after that_

_12:07 PM LittlePiggy: boss asked me to stay late_

Mako eats his lunch sitting on his bike and stares at his phone.  Why would Boom be asleep in the evening? Did he just get on a weird schedule in the hospital?  Mako wants to message him again, but they haven’t talked in so long, he’s not sure what to say.  Where he would usually say he misses him and can’t wait to see him, he closes the app and polishes off his energy drink.  

_5:30 PM DrBoom: shit_

_5:32 PM DrBoom: ok_

_5:34 PM DrBoom: im gonna get a few more zs_

_5:36 PM DrBoom: ill try to be up round 7_

_7:48 PM LittlePiggy: that took forever shit_

_7:50 PM LittlePiggy: u up?_

Mako tucks his phone away and revs his bike. Hopefully he’ll have a message waiting for him when he gets home.

_8:23 PM LittlePiggy: guess not..._

Mako stares at the last five messages in the conversation as his dinner heats up.   _What happened? Are you okay? Why are you asleep at 7 in the evening? What the fuck?_

Mako puts his phone face up on the counter and grabs his second beer of the evening.  He finds himself staring at it as he takes a gulp.  Mako huffs and grabs his phone, shoving it in his pocket as the microwave goes off.

Mako takes the food to his little living room and sits on the couch to eat, turning on the tv and bringing up an episode of a cute cartoon he started watching last week.  He lasts three minutes before he pulls his phone out and puts it on the coffee table where he can easily see the screen.

No new messages.  All evening.

Mako gives up an hour after he would normally have gone to bed.  He’s tempted to send another message, but he didn’t send a bunch of needy notes while Boom was MIA for two months, Mako’s not going to start being a desperate sap now.

_4:31 AM DrBoom: FUCK_

_4:32 AM DrBoom: FUCKFUCK FUCK_

_4:33 AM DrBoom: im sorry!!! ioverslept_

_[message deleted]_

_[message deleted]_

_[message deleted]_

_[message deleted]_

Mako is dragging the next morning.  So much so that he texts Ted to tell him he’s sick and then rolls back into bed.  He sees Boom’s first two messages but doesn’t reply. He will catch Boom at some point during the day.  Mako sets his alarm for a few more hours of sleep and lets his eyes close.

Mako sleeps through his alarm, but wakes up to his phone buzzing over and over again at noon.

_11:30 AM DrBoom: i have slept so much theres no way ill miss u today_

_11:45 AM DrBoom: i still feel shitty about that_

_12:00 PM DrBoom: you still take your lunch now?_

_12:03 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:04 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:04 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:04 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:05 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:05 PM LittlePiggy: boom_

_12:05 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:05 PM DrBoom: hey!!_

Mako lays there staring at his phone, unable to think of anything to say that won’t knock loose a lot of feelings he’s had the past few months.

_12:08 PM DrBoom: fuck dont tell me u had to go back_

_12:09 PM LittlePiggy: i just woke up_

_12:09 PM DrBoom: oh_

_12:10 PM DrBoom: u sick?_

_12:10 PM LittlePiggy: not really... just tired_

_12:11 PM DrBoom: good_

_12:11 PM DrBoom: bein sick sucks_

_12:12 PM LittlePiggy: yea… were u sick? u said u were in the hospital_

_12:14 PM DrBoom: yeah i was sick_

_12:15 PM DrBoom: still recovering but yknow_

Mako does not know.

_12:16 PM LittlePiggy: yea.  vc?_

_12:18 PM DrBoom: sure let me get to my laptop_

Mako groans as he sits up and scoots to the edge of his bed.  He cracks his neck and then slowly stands and stretches on his way to the dining table and his laptop.

Boom calls him as soon as he messages that he’s ready.  Mako feels his heart hammering in his throat as he waits for Boom to speak.  It’s weird that he’s only doing a voice call, but Mako’s not about to let it bother him.

_LittlePiggy: hey_

“Hey, Piggy,” Boom says, his voice a little raspy.  “Sorry I kinda disappeared.”

_LittlePiggy: its fine_

_LittlePiggy: did u have the flu?_

Boom snorts.  Mako doesn’t like the sound of it, and there’s a bitter tinge to his words when he speaks.  “Yeah, too bad I didn’t have a sweet little piggy to take care of me.”

Okay he probably didn’t have the flu.  Boom’s sarcasm stings a little but not much.  Mako has thick skin and Boom’s obviously had a shitty few months.

“Let’s change the subject,” Boom suggests.  

_LittlePiggy: boom_

_LittlePiggy: r u ok?_

Boom is quiet for a few seconds, though it sounds like he might be attempting to get something out before he lets out a frustrated noise and hangs up.

_DrBoom: dont ask that again_

Then, he logs off and leaves Mako slightly tired and a lot more worried.  He finally gives into his stupid sappy urges before closing his laptop and heading for his living room to binge cartoons.

_LittlePiggy: whatever happened im here if u need anything_

_——-_

When Boom comes back online, Mako is browsing his phone while listening to the Japanese dialogue of a cartoon.  He doesn’t understand much of it, but at this point it’s just a filler for the silence.  

_4:34 PM DrBoom: sorry im just tired of people asking me that_

_4:35 PM LittlePiggy: im tired of not knowing if ur ok_

_4:37 PM DrBoom: sorry_

Mako sighs heavily and lets his phone rest on the couch.  He has the urge to placate Boom in order to make sure he doesn’t run off again, but he’s never been about that.  He picks his phone back up once he’s sure he’s not going to coddle the idiot.

_4:40 PM LittlePiggy: dont just log off if were talking. its a shitty thing to do_

_4:42 PM DrBoom: yes mum_

A smile tugs at Mako’s lips and he sighs.  

_4:43 PM LittlePiggy: dont call me that_

DrBoom calls him with voice only and Mako picks up, muting his side.

“We haven’t done daddy before, but I’m up for it if you are,” Boom says, his smirk audible.

Mako blushes and rubs the bridge of his nose.  

_LittlePiggy: no_

Boom chuckles and Mako can hear him shift, probably to lie down.

_LittlePiggy: missed u_

“I missed you too, Pretty Piggy.”  He sounds tired.  Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to video.

_LittlePiggy: u sound tired_

Boom is so silent Mako thinks he hung up again before he hears Boom take a deep breath and sigh.  “Yeah.  It’s the meds I’m taking.  I should be good to stop them in another week or so but they make me really sleepy.”

_LittlePiggy: i was wondering why u slept so much yesterday_

Boom clicks his tongue cheekily and Mako knows he’s giving at least one finger gun.  “That’s why.”

_LittlePiggy: your probably too tired for video but i havnt seen u in a while_

_LittlePiggy: can i get a selfie?_

Boom snorts and his voice is snippy when he says, “Think you have enough pics of me.”

Mako hums and doesn’t respond.

Boom suddenly groans.  “Fuck, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have come back so early.  I’m sorry…” and then he hangs up.

Mako rubs his hands across his face and sighs heavily. 

_DrBoom: sorry_

_LittlePiggy: whatever happened sounds rough_

He aches to type, “ _You don’t have to be alone…”_ but he doesn’t.  Mako sits and waits for Boom to reply, feeling self conscious because he doesn’t know how to interact with him in this moment.

_DrBoom: im gonna take a nap_

_DrBoom: might be up for some fooling around when i get up_

_DrBoom: kinda need the cash_

Mako huffs out a laugh.

_LittlePiggy: ill b here_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako waits until several hours past when he usually goes to bed, but Boom doesn’t message him again.
> 
> He tries his best not to be a petulant piece of shit, but it hurts to get blown off, even if he knows Boom isn’t doing it on purpose. He sends Boom a pig emoji and waits for an hour. Then another hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready for a bunch of goddamned texts?
> 
> Special thanks to Skadi for betaing and thanks to Shanks, Muppet, Kawaiihana, and Cancel for all their support too!

Mako waits until several hours past when he usually goes to bed, but Boom doesn’t message him again.

He tries his best not to be a petulant piece of shit, but it hurts to get blown off, even if he _knows_ Boom isn’t doing it on purpose.  He sends Boom a pig emoji and waits for an hour.  Then another hour.

Mako gives up around two in the morning and pointedly sets his phone on silent so that he can sleep through the four hours he has left before he has to go to work  He thinks he hears the phone vibrate just before he drifts off, but he’s so used to it being his imagination that he ignores it in favor of sleep.

2:15 AM DrBoom: piggy  
  
3:04 AM DrBoom: piggy  
  
3:04 AM DrBoom: piggy  
  
3:10 PM DrBoom: piggy  
  
4:13 PM DrBoom: piggy  
  
[message deleted]  
  
[message deleted]  
  
[message deleted]  
  
[message deleted]

5:05 AM DrBoom: sorry… again… 

5:06 AM DrBoom: fuck  

When Mako wakes up, he lays in bed and stares at the messages, not sure if he should go ahead and reply or wait until he has enough time for a conversation.  He really wants to talk to Boom—he actually wants to do more than just talk, if he’s honest with himself—but the back and forth is wearing on him.  His concern for Boom is turning into frustration and he hates it.  It’s why he always ends up alone.  He only thinks about himself and relationships are supposed to be selfless.

8:30 AM DrBoom: so i either sleep for 3 hours or 15

8:31 AM DrBoom: there is no middle and i stay up for maybe 3 or 5 hours and then sleep again

He sends him a picture of a piece of paper—the back of an old envelope by the look of it—with messy pen scribbled all over it.  Between the crossed out bits and the numbers with other numbers written over them, Mako can’t make heads or tails of it until Boom follows it up with a message.

8:33 AM DrBoom: according to my calculations our shit will sync up tomorrow night at 8pm

8:33 AM DrBoom: …. maybe……..

8:34 AM DrBoom: you in??

12:10 PM LittlePiggy: we need to talk.

12:21 AM DrBoom: thats what im tryin to do!!!

1:09 AM DrBoom: oh. u mean like… a bad kind

1:10 AM DrBoom: hopefully ill be so keyed up from thinking about this i wont sleep and miss u

6:01 AM LittlePiggy: idiot

6:05 AM LittlePiggy: i just miss u

6:06 AM LittlePiggy: get sleep if u need it

6:06 AM DrBoom: HI!!!

6:10 AM DrBoom: shit ur probably getting ready or at work

6:20 AM DrBoom: might be able to talk a little tonite but i know you gotta sleep 

6:25 AM DrBoom: ill try to set my alarm for 6pm but idk if it will work….. no promises but im going to give it a go

12:05 PM LittlePiggy: are u eating?

12:10 PM LittlePiggy: nvm i no the answer to that

12:25 PM LittlePiggy: i sent u a gift card for that pizza place 

12:26 PM LittlePiggy: eat something and relax

9:30 PM DrBoom: ur a peach 

9:36 PM DrBoom: so its really not a bad talk??

9:38 PM DrBoom: i mean i know u cant break up with me

9:40 PM DrBoom: because im too hot

9:41 PM DrBoom: …. and were not dating 

9:44 PM DrBoom: i dont want u to be bummed so i wanna tell u i dont wanna cam tom night

9:45 PM DrBoom: tho

9:50 PM DrBoom: too much energy

9:55 PM DrBoom: but im good for text or voice

10:00 PM DrBoom: and I got pics!

Mako is instantly hard when he scrolls down to the picture of Boom lying face down with his knees bent and his ankles crossed.  The angle shows off his ass and the glittering purple gem peeking between his ass cheeks.  Mako wants to toy with it, press it like a button and prod it with his tongue.  He doesn’t have the time for a proper wank.  He doesn’t have the time for a quick and shitty one either, but needs must.

Mako holds his phone with one hand and used the other to tug at his cock with quick, desperate pulls.  He hasn’t considered this particular fantasy before.  Always more interested in the penetration, never showy, shiny plugs that hint at an intrusion.  Mako imagines easing it from Boom, seeing the flare of the thickest part of the plug and watching him twitch around it— Mako comes, panting hard and cursing himself because he knows that he’s going to be late for work, but he hasn’t felt so energized and satisfied in months.  He showers and gets dressed before pausing on his way out the door to message Boom.

6:20 AM LittlePiggy: v good

6:22 AM LittlePiggy: how much for more pics? 

Ted gives him _a look_ when he arrives, but Mako is in too good a mood to challenge him.  He gets right into the work, more than making up for the time he was late and finishing his part of the job before lunch even breaks.  

Mako sits on his motorcycle and studies Boom’s picture.  He looks good.  A little thin, but that might be the pose and the angle of the camera showing off his chicken legs.  He tries to compare it with another in his collection, but he can’t tell any real differences.  For being sick for a few months, he looks good.  Healthy.

Mako feels the dread uncoil in his chest, something he had forgotten was lodged there.  Boom is okay now.  He’s just tired and a little pissy sometimes.  Classic Boom.

After lunch, Ted gives him one of the shittier jobs of mixing concrete, probably to show his disapproval of Mako being late, and by the time the day ends, Mako’s shoulders and arms hurt like a bitch.  Good thing he wanked this morning.  Ted keeps him after again to talk about the apartments.  Apparently, the job in Australia needs to finish around the same time as the one in New Zealand so that the owner can do a grand opening in both countries at the same time.

Nice that that’s the only concern some people are able to have.  The timeline is straightforward and seems doable.  Mako tucks a thick folder into his saddlebag and drives home one-handed, alternating to give his shoulders a break.

_8 PM._

He has a few hours, so he showers and splurges on ordering in a nice dinner.  There’s an uneasy feeling in his gut.  It’s probably the multiple times he’s been waiting on Boom in the past few days with no respite. 

He’s willing to wait.  For tonight, at least. This might be the last time… but he’s not sure.  

He doesn’t want to think about it.

He eats and watches videos from an American pig farm that posts daily updates on their most recent litter of piglets to document the stages of their growth.  It’s sweet and relaxing, but underneath it, he still feels an uncomfortable churning in his stomach, still thinks “what if?” and still asks himself if this is really the last time he’ll stay up until 2 AM waiting for a dumb boy.  

7:30 PM comes around and Mako finds himself scratching his stomach nervously and looking at the clock every five minutes. 

7:55 PM DrBoom: im early!!

7:55 PM LittlePiggy: hey

7:56 PM DrBoom: im gonna be typin slow but im here 

7:56 PM LittlePiggy: thats fine

7:57 PM LittlePiggy: u wanna vc?

7:58 PM DrBoom: nah

7:59 PM DrBoom: im still bushed but I really didnt want to miss u again

8:00 PM LittlePiggy: [Pig emoji.]

8:01 PM DrBoom: oh yeah ill do $5 a pic and ten for $40

8:02 PM LittlePiggy: paypal?

8:02 PM DrBoom: yea

8:03 PM LittlePiggy: how many u got?

8:05 PM DrBoom: like 50

8:05 PM LittlePiggy: u been busy

8:06 PM DrBoom: gotta do something when im awake and ur asleep or workin ;)

8:07 PM LittlePiggy: work and sleep r a waste of time then

8:08 PM DrBoom: nah mate u gotta pay my bills somehow

8:09 PM LittlePiggy: yea ur right

8:09 PM DrBoom: ;p <3

8:11 PM LittlePiggy: i sent the money pick ur faves u know what i like 

8:12 PM LittlePiggy: or take some new pics

8:12 PM DrBoom: yea def

8:13 PM DrBoom: ill make u some real good ones

8:13 PM LittlePiggy: :)

8:14 PM DrBoom: !!!! a rare piggy smile

8:16 PM LittlePiggy: missed u

8:17 PM LittlePiggy: happy ur back

8:18 PM LittlePiggy: say something 

8:20 PM DrBoom: sorr i was justt jerkin it to hw sappy ur bein

8:21 PM LittlePiggy: shut up

8:22 PM DrBoom: what a bossy piggy

8:22 PM LittlePiggy: *shoves hand over ur face*

8:23 PM DrBoom: *laffs n licks ur hand*

8:23 PM LittlePiggy: *wipes it on ur cheek and cups it*

8:24 PM DrBoom: *stars into ur eyes*

8:24 PM LittlePiggy: *smiles and leans in to kiss u*

8:25 PM DrBoom: *depens kiss n rubs cock against u*

8:25 PM LittlePiggy: behave.  we got all night

8:27 PM DrBoom: mmmm idk I might turn into a pumpkin round 11

8:27 PM LittlePiggy: o yea

8:29 PM DrBoom: so wat hav u missed most? want me to talk about suckin ur dick?  ridin your cock? letting you ride me?

8:35 PM DrBoom: piggy?

8:37 PM LittlePiggy: tell me about the plug from the pic

8:38 PM DrBoom: o that? its pretty tiny n real shiny the pics dont do it justice tbh

8:38 PM LittlePiggy: more pics?

8:39 PM DrBoom: ill toss a few into ur picpac ;)

8:39 PM LittlePiggy: r u wearing it now?

8:40 PM DrBoom: yep got a plug and thats it

8:41 PM DrBoom: what r u wearing?

_Sweats and a t-shirt._

8:41 PM LittlePiggy: bra n panty set

8:41 PM LittlePiggy: pink n lacy

8:42 PM DrBoom: oohhhhh fancy piggy

8:43 PM DrBoom: you feelin pretty today?

8:43 PM LittlePiggy: yeah

8:43 PM DrBoom: good 

8:44 PM DrBoom: i want u to feel pretty

8:44 PM DrBoom: pretty piggy

8:45 PM LittlePiggy: i want u to play with my tits

8:46 PM DrBoom: lol i can do that

8:47 PM DrBoom: want me to pinch your nipples n lick them through the bra?

Mako slips his sweats down his thighs until he can get to his cock, then pulls his bottle of lotion closer and settles back in his chair, his left hand still extended over the keyboard.

8:48 PM LittlePiggy: Yeah

8:49 PM DrBoom: *sucks on ur nipple thru the bra n my hand goes down to tug at the panty*

8:50 PM DrBoom: u hard?

8:51 PM LittlePiggy: yea 

8:52 PM DrBoom: *cups u through the panty and jerks u a few times*

8:53 PM DrBoom: *keeps teasing thru the bra*

8:54 PM DrBoom: *bites the fleshy bit of ur pec*

8:54 PM DrBoom: piggy

8:55 PM DrBoom: piggy

8:55 PM DrBoom: piggy

8:55 PM LittlePiggy: what

8:56 PM DrBoom: r u enjoying this???

8:57 PM LittlePiggy: if u dont shut up and touch me im not paying you

8:57 PM DrBoom: lmao okay okay

8:59 PM DrBoom: sorry i just missed u

9:00 PM DrBoom: and the blunt way u type

9:01 PM DrBoom: thats weird right?

9:02 PM LittlePiggy: yea ur real weird

9:03 PM DrBoom: :)

9:04 PM LittlePiggy: at this rate ur going to turn into a pumpkin before i get off

9:05 PM DrBoom: oh yeah. 

9:05 PM DrBoom: time crunch

9:06 PM DrBoom: but ur havin a good go right?

9:06 PM LittlePiggy: until u stopped doing shit and started fishing for responses

9:07 PM DrBoom: hey m8 a little encurragemennt goes a long way

9:07 PM LittlePiggy: its really good ur the best at touching me and sucking on my tits

9:07 PM LittlePiggy: keep

9:08 PM LittlePiggy: going 

9:09 PM DrBoom: of course i am :)

9:11 PM DrBoom: alrite so im suckin ur tit and jerkin u off through the underwear

9:12 PM DrBoom: god ur so hot piggy i want u inside me

9:13 PM LittlePiggy: whats ur favorite part 

9:14PM DrBoom: feelin ur precom make the lace wet

9:15 PM DrBoom: and ur nipple through the silk

9:15 PM DrBoom: the noises ur making

9:16 PM DrBoom: ur making noises right?

9:16 PM LittlePiggy: yea 

9:16 PM DrBoom: yea?

9:17 PM LittlePiggy: yea im grunting n squealing

9:17 PM LittlePiggy: keep touching

9:18 PM DrBoom: gonna push u back n crawl all over u

9:19 PM DrBoom: grind my ass against ur prick n my cock against ur abs

9:19 PM LittlePiggy: stomach

9:20 PM DrBoom: yeah that

9:21 PM DrBoom: sorry forgot

9:22 PM LittlePiggy: keep going i wanna fuck u

9:24 PM LittlePiggy: boom?

9:26 PM DrBoom: sorry

9:26 PM DrBoom: had to grab some lube

9:27 PM DrBoom: cock was starting to hurt

9:28 PM LittlePiggy: im going to pull the plug out and finger u

9:29 PM LittlePiggy: get u nice and loose for my cock

9:30 PM DrBoom: please

9:30 PM DrBoom: lube me up m8

9:31 PM DrBoom: i wanna ride u

9:33 PM DrBoom: while ur fingerin me im gonna slide the panties down to just below ur balls

9:34 PM DrBoom: im still suckin ur tits btw

9:35 PM DrBoom: leaving a few bits to

9:36 PM DrBoom: cant stop suckin they r so tasty

9:37 PM LittlePiggy: alright fuck urself on me

9:38 PM LittlePiggy: hurry or ill come

9:39 PM DrBoom: ok ok

9:40 PM DrBoom: god ive been waiting for this

9:40 PM DrBoom: for so long

9:40 PM LittlePiggy: same

9:41 PM DrBoom: what a sweet piggy 

9:42 PM DrBoom: cant be as long as me tho

9:43 PM LittlePiggy: im going to push u down to sit on my cock just to get u to shut up 

9:43 PM DrBoom: piggy!!!

9:44 PM DrBoom: fuck

9:44 PM DrBoom: fuck me

9:44 PM LittlePiggy: keep begging

9:45 PM LittlePiggy: just like that 

9:45 PM DrBoom: piggy

9:46 PM DrBoom: fuck me

9:46 PM DrBoom: fuck me

9:46 PM DrBoom: please

9:47 PM DrBoom: fuck me

9:47 PM DrBoom: fuck me

9:47 PM LittlePiggy: i came

9:48 PM DrBoom: fuck yea I can feel u

9:49 PM DrBoom: leakin out makin a rite mess 

9:50 PM DrBoom: theres so much

9:50 PM LittlePiggy: u come yet?

9:51 PM DrBoom: yea

9:51 PM LittlePiggy: boom

9:52 PM DrBoom: i did!!!

9:53 PM DrBoom: came so hard i nearly wet my chin

9:54 PM LittlePiggy: hm

9:55 PM DrBoom: dont hm me piggy

9:55 PM LittlePiggy: u gonna turn into a pumpkin now?

9:56 PM DrBoom: not yet

9:57 PM DrBoom: hows work

9:57 PM LittlePiggy: its fine

9:58 PM LittlePiggy: going to lead a build

9:59 PM DrBoom: oooooooo piggy movin up

10:00 PM LittlePiggy: i guess

10:00 PM LittlePiggy: think its just cause he has a build out of country

10:01 PM DrBoom: either way

10:02 PM DrBoom: r u getting paid more for it?

10:02 PM LittlePiggy: idk

10:03 PM DrBoom: piggy!!!

10:03 PM DrBoom: check!!

10:04 PM DrBoom: what a change

10:05 PM DrBoom: me lecturing u about gettin paid proper 

10:05 PM LittlePiggy: yea ive been slipping

10:06 PM LittlePiggy: guess i was too worried about some idiot

10:07 PM DrBoom: oh yea?

10:08 PM DrBoom: tell me abt him

10:08 PM LittlePiggy: hes dumb

10:09 PM DrBoom: hey!

10:09 PM LittlePiggy: and hot

10:10 PM DrBoom: hey ;)

10:10 PM LittlePiggy: but mostly dumb

10:10 PM DrBoom: :(

10:12 PM LittlePiggy: hes a real cute idiot 

10:13 PM DrBoom: im not sure if i want to know anymore

10:13 PM LittlePiggy: and i like him a lot

10:13 PM LittlePiggy: ok

10:14 PM DrBoom: wait no keep going

10:15 PM DrBoom: piggy!!!!

10:15 PM LittlePiggy: i was really worried

10:16 PM DrBoom: i know i said i was sorry 

10:16 PM LittlePiggy: thats not what i want

10:18 PM DrBoom: im tired

_I want to know what happened to you._

10:20 PM LittlePiggy: pumpkin time already?

10:20 PM DrBoom: yea

10:21 PM LittlePiggy: k thanks for the wank

10:22 PM DrBoom: anytime

10:22 PM DrBoom: well not now but

10:22 PM _DrBoom is offline._


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako stares at the message and sighs. How can he tell Boom that doesn’t even mean the jerk off videos and the saucy voice chats? He just misses seeing his smile, and the way his expressions change from one second to the next. His voice and his laugh… Mako takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and special thanks to Cancel, one-irradiated-muppet, Shanks, Skadi and Kawaiihana!

The pictures tide Mako over for a much shorter time than he expects.  Fifty pictures sounded like a lot until he flipped through them a hundred times, studied every inch of them and spent most of his nights and weekend jerking off to them while Boom slept.

_10:36 AM DrBoom: how many times u look thru those pics since i left? ;)_

_10:37 AM LittlePiggy: lost count.  cant believe ull take a bunch of nudes but wont cam for me :(_

_10:38 AM DrBoom: needy piggy_

_10:38 AM LittlePiggy: not even voice :(_

_10:38 AM DrBoom: piggyyyyy_

_10:39 AM DrBoom: stop_

_10:39 AM LittlePiggy: :(_

_10:40 AM DrBoom: im gonna go back to sleep if u dont stop_

_10:40 AM LittlePiggy: dont_

_10:41 AM DrBoom: i feel like shit n dont wanna cam_

_10:42 AM Little Piggy: u look fine_

_10:43 AM DrBoom: u mean my ass looks fine_

_10:43 AM LittlePiggy: it is but also the rest of u_

_10:43 AM LittlePiggy: u look p healthy_

Mako purses his lips and leaves the chat app to begin flipping through the album of pictures again.  He started to feel suspicious a few days ago, but he’s had relationships end because he got paranoid or jealous, so he’s determined not to let this— whatever the fuck is between them— get ruined by his own shitty behavior.  Mako leaves the pictures and reenters the chat app just as Boom sends him a few more messages.

_10:45 AM DrBoom: ill see if i can take a few more for u_

_10:45 AM DrBoom: ok?_

_10:47 AM LittlePiggy: k_

_10:48 AM DrBoom: just not up for camming and idk how vc will go_

_10:49 AM LittlePiggy: fine_

_10:50 AM DrBoom: :( piggyyyyy_

_10:50 AM LittlePiggy: its fine.  i just miss u_

_10:51 AM DrBoom: aw ;)_

Mako stares at the message and sighs.  How can he tell Boom that doesn’t even mean the jerk off videos and the saucy voice chats?  He just misses seeing his smile, and the way his expressions change from one second to the next.  His voice and his laugh… Mako takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly.

_10:54 AM LittlePiggy: feel better soon.  ill ttyl_

_10:55 AM DrBoom: aw ok_

_10:56 AM DrBoom: was hoping that we could fuck again_

_10:56 AM DrBoom: my treat_

_10:58 AM LittlePiggy: maybe tonite if ur up_

_10:59 AM DrBoom: ill try to be!  [Kiss emoji.]_

_10:59 AM LittlePiggy: later_

Mako lets his phone fall onto his chest and stares up at the ceiling.  He didn’t sign up for this.  He doesn’t _want_ to feel like this—mistrustful and sad and longing for someone who isn’t actually his to reach for.  Someone he will never actually be able to hold, someone he can’t be honest with for worry of overstepping his bounds and ending up as just another creep on the internet and ruining what little scrap of attachment Boom does have to him.  

Mako is a transaction.  He knows he is and asking Boom to change that is unfair, especially now that he’s recovering from… something.  Whether it's an illness or an incident, it doesn’t matter.  He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes with Boom that he has in other relationships.  He wants to be a better person.  He wants to not fuck this up so very badly.

He wants Boom.

Mako sighs and rolls over on his side before closing his eyes.  The tightness in his chest is almost as painful as when Boom first disappeared.

——

Mako wakes up to his phone buzzing with messages.

_12:06 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:06 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:06 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:06 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:06 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:07 PM DrBoom: piggy_

_12:07 PM LittlePiggy: what_

_12:08 PM DrBoom: i took more photos_

_12:09 PM DrBoom: and im sorry ive been real shitty_

_12:09 PM DrBoom: im not trying to be_

_12:10 PM DrBoom: i just cant cam rn_

_12:10 PM LittlePiggy: u havnt been shitty.  im a dick for asking all the time_

_12:10 PM LittlePiggy: ill stop_

_12:11 PM DrBoom: ur not a dick :(_

_12:12 PM LittlePiggy: how many pics?_

_12:14 PM DrBoom: its only 8 none of the others look good_

_12:15 PM LittlePiggy: go ahead and send them_

_12:16 PM DrBoom: piggy promise ur not mad?_

_12:19 PM LittlePiggy: im not mad_

_12:20 PM DrBoom: soooo u wanna fuck? ;)_

_12:21 PM LittlePiggy: not rn_

_12:21 PM DrBoom: :(_

_12:22 PM DrBoom: gotta compete with my own photos now?_

_12:23 PM DrBoom: thats fucked up_

_12:23 PM LittlePiggy: i like ur face_

_12:24 PM DrBoom: weird way of typing ass_

_12:24 PM LittlePiggy: i said what i meant_

_12:25 PM DrBoom: ur a sweetheart piggy_

_12:26 PM DrBoom: didnt u once tell me my face wasnt as cute as my ass??_

_12:26 PM LittlePiggy: probably.  im a dick remember?_

_12:27 PM DrBoom: o yea_

_12:27 PM DrBoom: a real big dick_

_12:28 PM DrBoom: ;)_

_12:28 PM LittlePiggy: stop_

_12:28 PM DrBoom: ok_

_12:30 PM DrBoom: thot u like it when I flirt w u_

_12:31 PM LittlePiggy: im just stressed from work_

_12:32 PM DrBoom: hows that goin_

_12:33 PM LittlePiggy: its fine just alot of extra shit_

_12:33 PM DrBoom: ok_

_12:39 PM DrBoom: rest up piggy_

_12:40 PM LittlePiggy: yea_

Ten minutes after Mako logs off and puts his phone down, an email with 8 attachments comes through.  

Mako tells himself he’s just going to glance through them, but he can’t help studying the photos.  He tries to pay attention to the spicy details, the erotic skill Boom has developed over the year or so he’s been camming, but he finds himself looking for inconsistencies instead; hints at whether he’s being fucked with.  Boom never changes his sheets, so the only thing that’s different about what he can see of the room is that there are different toys on the shelves behind the bed.  That’s nothing new. He cycles through toys all the time.  Mako sighs and flips back through them one more time before catching himself.  This is ridiculous.

Mako lets his phone fall to his chest and rubs his eyes with a sigh.  He’s fucking terrible.  The goddamned worst.  This is exactly why he can’t keep a boyfriend.

Despite his disappointment in himself, Boom sent him these pictures for a reason.  The best way for him to make it up to Boom without directly apologizing for thinking he’s lying is to jerk off and tell him how good it is afterward.

He leaves his phone on his chest and hooks his thumbs into his pants to shove them down past his hips to his mid-thigh.  Once he’s comfortable with one leg lolling off the couch and the other bent, he flips through the pictures and slowly touches himself.  Boom’s thighs are strong and roped with attractive muscle, shiny with lube and sweat.  His stomach muscles flex and relax from one picture to the next.  Mako can almost feel them shifting against his tongue and lips.  He lets out a shuddering breath and then bucks his hips up into his fist.  He wants to trace his mouth over Boom, wants to taste every inch of him.  He stops on a picture of Boom lying on his bed, knees spread and a vibrator strapped into his hole via a harness.  The camera is set low on the bed, focused on the harness set up, but Mako follows the lines of Boom’s body up to his stomach, chest and biceps.  Boom is so overwhelmed by the sensation that he has his hands pressed to his face.  Mako chuckles and imagines kissing around the edges of Boom’s hands, nuzzling down his forearm and then dropping down to run his tongue along the swell of Boom’s deliciously toned bicep, maybe trace the lettering of his tattoo—

It’s not there.

Mako looks at Boom’s other bicep, thinking maybe he flipped the image—but it’s not there either.  Mako’s hand leaves his cock so that he can hold his phone and zoom in.  He’s certain that Boom is at an angle where it should show.   _Nothing is free_ should be a few centimeters above his elbow, centered beneath his right bicep.

It’s a sucker punch to Mako’s gut.  His aching cock flags as he flips through the other pictures.  Some of them have the tattoo exactly where it should be.  All his nervous worry for Boom’s safety crashes back, but then it cannonballs into a flash of anger and betrayal.  Mako’s chest tightens and he clenches his jaw.  These were probably just pictures he had sent other clients.  They aren’t indicative of his current health at all.  

Mako logs back into the app, but before he can say anything, he receives a message.

_12:06 PM DrBoom: back so soon? ;)_

Mako growls and tosses his phone at the coffee table. It bounces twice before sliding off and onto the floor.  He takes a few deep breaths, but if anything it fans the flames of rage and hurt.  Mako pushes himself up off of the couch and drags his pants back up before stalking out the door.   _Fuck_ him if he doesn’t trust Mako with what happened.   _Fuck him_ if he thinks Mako’s going to keep paying for a lie that hurts more than it helps anymore.  

Mako gets on his bike and just goes.  He drives up the coast of the North Island, breathing in the calming air and wishing he had grabbed his jacket.  The cool fall air nips at his cheeks and rips through his shirt, but it serves to keep him awake. Moisture in the air threatens rain, but Mako doesn’t want to turn back.  He wants to keep driving until his bike breaks beneath him and he’s left stranded, as lost and lonely as he’s always been and always going to be.  

He can’t handle a decent relationship—hell, he can’t even _start_ a decent relationship.  He can’t be a better person, he can’t ramp down his pride and have needed conversations instead of getting pissed and running away.  It’s either ride until he can’t steer straight or start a fight and ending up hurting people; lose another job; start over again.

Mako drifts onto the rumble strip around the same time the sun begins to color the sky.  He pulls off to the side of the road and reaches for his phone to gauge how long he has to get back and go to work, but he left his phone on the floor.

He forgot his wallet too, but change tends to collect in the bottoms of his saddle bags.  It’s enough for Mako  to get a shitty cup of coffee and a decent plate of sweet potato chips at a 24-hour diner.  Once he’s feeling less like he’s about to accidentally drive off a bridge, Mako gives Ted a call to let him know he had “bike trouble” on a weekend trip.

He cusses Mako out and tells him if he keeps flaking, he’ll find someone more dependable to take charge of the project.  Which, honestly, might be better, but Mako needs something to focus on right now, and throwing himself into work sounds like the only way he’s going to get through a second loss of Boom.  He takes his time driving back now that Ted isn’t expecting him until the afternoon.  

He doesn’t bother stopping by home and heads straight to the job site.  They’ve almost wrapped up.  It’s all painting, blinds and doors as well as little touches like corner guards and handrails.

When the day ends, Mako feels fucking exhausted, and when he gets home, he passes out without bothering to fix a meal or even undress.

He wakes up early the next morning.  So early, he thinks he might actually just go back to sleep for the next three hours, but when he realizes that his phone and, consequently, his alarm is not in the same room as him, he reluctantly gets up to fetch it.

He has a ton of new messages from Boom.  Most of them are his usual “piggy” that he uses to get Mako’s attention, but a couple of the messages are random observances that are so innocuous and sincere that they cut through any of Mako’s lingering anger and settle into a painful ache deep in his stomach.

_6:30 AM DrBoom: you know how to get a thing out of a garbage disposal?_

_6:30 AM DrBoom: nvm i got it_

_6:30 AM DrBoom: next level fucked up to reach your hand in there and realize it could just be gone like that_

_11:30 AM DrBoom: my nbors dogs wont stop barkin_

_11:30 AM DrBoom: come yell at them for me I dont want to get off the couch_

_8:30 PM DrBoom: piggy?  u ok?_

_11:30 PM DrBoom: im worried_

_12:30 PM DrBoom: getting some of my own medicine i guess_

_2:30 AM DrBoom: piiiiiigggggyyyyyyy_

_3:34 AM LittlePiggy: boom_

_3:35 AM DrBoom: piggy!_

_3:35 AM LittlePiggy: voice chat_

_3:35 AM LittlePiggy: now_

_3:36 AM DrBoom: uhhhh k_

Mako almost wimps out when the call comes through.  He can apologize, just say that he missed his voice, go back to bed and just keep pretending that he’s okay with what they have, do the same thing he’s done for the past year.  He can stay the silent words on the screen, watching and chatting and jerking off and never moving forward.  Never knowing if Boom is really okay.

Mako takes a deep breath and picks up the call.

“Hey Piggy!  You okay?  You’re not usually MIA for that long,” Boom says.  He sounds less tired than last time, but his voice is unusually rough so it’s hard to tell.  

Mako stays quiet, his heart pounding and holding his breath.  He can still back out, he doesn’t have to—

“This piece of shit broken?”  Boom hums uncertainly and then sends a message.

_3:30 AM DrBoom: piggy??_

“I’m fine,” Mako says.

Boom is quiet, almost to the point where Mako wonders if he’s muted, but then he breathes out a laugh and says, “crikey, your voice is _deep._ ”

Mako smiles sadly and rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.  “Yeah.”

Boom chuckles and Mako sighs.  He actually sounds good, but he knows that might not be accurate.  The anger flares at the thought, but Boom’s voice soothes it, scrubs it away to be replaced with an uncomfortable numbness.  

“So I was thinking we could revisit Junkrat and Roadhog.  Maybe they’ve finished renovations on the loft and figured out how to get that stupid couch up there.”  Mako wasn’t really listening to him, but he quickly realizes that Boom’s already setting a roleplay scene.  “We could sag onto it all exhausted and sweaty and—“

Mako clears his throat and Boom immediately cuts off.  Mako can’t see him, but he has a feeling that he’s eagerly waiting for Mako to speak again.  It’s sweet and makes Mako smile, but it doesn’t help with his resolve to figure out what the fuck is going on.  “I know the pictures aren’t recent.”

Boom is silent for a while, then he sucks on his teeth before making an uncomfortable sound and finally asking, “Don’t matter, does it?”

“It matters,” Mako tells him.  “I thought you were okay,” he says.  “Recovered and healthy again.”

“Never said I was or wasn’t,” Boom replies.

“You implied you took the photos within the last week or two.”

“Again,” annoyance enters Boom’s voice, and Mako can recognize the tone Boom gets before he hangs up from frustration, “shouldn’t be a thing.  So long as you get off all the same, don’t matter if I took them last week or last year.”

Mako takes a deep breath and tries to think of things he can say that won’t make Boom immediately hang up and sulk.  Instead, he says:  “It matters to me! I was worried, Boom—fuck I _still am._ You _disappeared_ for nearly three months.  If Goddess hadn’t told me you weren’t dead, I would have expected you to be in a ditch somewhe—“

The call ends with a click and Mako lets his phone fall to the bed.  Fuck.  He rubs his face with his hands and takes a few deep breaths.  His stomach growls, but he ignores it, lying in bed and wallowing until his alarm goes off.

Mako gets up, changes and heads to work.  He leaves his phone in his saddle bag, knowing that he will just look at it every five seconds or send ten messages to Boom trying to justify himself, none of them apologetic like they probably need to be.  Maybe Boom will cool off and see Mako’s side by the time he gets off work.

Or, maybe he’ll decide Mako’s not worth the argument and never message him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 will be posted next Friday ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11:59 AM LittlePiggy: sorry for caring
> 
> 12:02 PM LittlePiggy: i dont mean that
> 
> 12:02 PM LittlePiggy: the sarcasm not the caring
> 
> 12:05 PM LittlePiggy: i care 
> 
> 12:08 PM LittlePiggy: christ im turning into you
> 
> 4:59 PM LittlePiggy: can we just talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and special thanks to Cancel, one-irradiated-muppet, Shanks and Skadi for their top tier support!

_11:59 AM LittlePiggy: sorry for caring_

_12:02 PM LittlePiggy: i dont mean that_

_12:02 PM LittlePiggy: the sarcasm not the caring_

_12:05 PM LittlePiggy: i care_

_12:08 PM LittlePiggy: christ im turning into you_

_4:59 PM LittlePiggy: can we just talk?_

There’s several short jobs lined up.  Ted has Mako oversee their regular crew while he goes to Australia to hire labor for the upcoming big job, which was finally dubbed Geminate Resorts.  

Mako doesn’t pay attention to how many days pass.  He works, eats and sleeps and lets the silent days slip away.  It’s easy when he’s working.  He can keep himself busy and he doesn’t have time to think about his shitshow of a personal life.  Perfect.

He has to stop sometime, though.  His back gets tight after the first six hours, and he’s not young enough to be able to put in twelve hours of manual labor anymore.  His nights are long and tedious.  Television isn’t distracting enough, so he tries to limit his time at home to eating dinner and then falling asleep.

The weekend is the worst.  He lays in bed for half of a Saturday before he dumps a tank of gas into a road trip down to Kaimanawa Forest Park.  He hasn’t camped or visited the park in nearly a decade, but he finds himself drawn back to the craggy trails and clear air.

He’s not interested in hiking, but breathing in the fresh air of the mountainous forest makes him feel a little more grounded.  Nostalgia takes the place of the persistent sense of loss in his chest.  Mako’s too old and achy to sleep out under the stars, but he persists to lie beneath them, at least until he gets to the point of feeling like his problems are unimportant for a moment because he’s just a speck in the vast expanse of the universe.

The cots in the camping huts have thin mattresses, but they’re not nearly as shitty as ones they had the last time he camped here.  Despite the quality of the mattress, Mako sleeps more deeply than he has in what feels like months.  It might be that his quiet phone is tucked away in his saddle bag, out of sight and out of mind, or it might be that he doesn’t have memories of Boom tied to this place.  He’s everywhere in Mako’s apartment, despite never having been there physically.  

He’s “talked” to Boom for hours on end in every room of his home.  The idiot feels more intertwined into Mako’s life than any relationship he’s ever had.  Long or short, impulsive or serious, romantic or friendship—Boom has made him feel the most.

Mako arrives home a little after noon on Sunday.  He forgets his phone entirely until he reaches for it in his pocket to finally check it an hour later, but it’s not there.  He goes back out to his bike to get it and feels a prickle of self-loathing that there are 15 missed messages from Boom and two texts from Ted.

None of the messages from Boom are his spammy “piggyyyyy” alerts, and the fact that there are more words involved just makes Mako’s stomach twist harder.  More words means more conflict.  More chances for Mako to fuck up.

_8:00 PM DrBoom: Kind of shitty the first time I get to actually hear your voice it’s so you can yell at me._

_8:02 PM DrBoom: Or maybe it’s fitting_

_8:03 PM DrBoom: I dunno_

_8:08 PM DrBoom: Point is I’m not in a good place right now_

_8:09 PM DrBoom: I can’t be a cammer_

_8:10 PM DrBoom: I can barely be a friend_

_8:20 PM DrBoom: I think that’s what we are anyway_

_8:21 PM DrBoom: At least_

_[deleted message]_

_[deleted message]_

_8:33 PM DrBoom: Fuck_

_8:34 PM DrBoom: I mean_

_8:43 PM DrBoom: I guess friends don’t use friends as atms when they need shit_

_8:44 PM DrBoom: and ho in return_

_9:47 AM DrBoom: smtimes thats what it feels like im doing anyway_

_9:50 AM DrBoom: even though u never say anything about it_

_1:15 PM DrBoom: idk i just feel shitty about everything and i dont want you to_

_1:21 PM DrBoom: but I think u already are_

_1:30 PM LittlePiggy: i feel shitty because you won’t tell me what’s going on_

_1:33 PM LittePiggy: and ghosted me for a week_

Mako almost leaves it at that, but there’s no reason to hold back anymore.  If Boom’s going to just disappear again, Mako at least wants to get everything off his chest first.

_1:35 PM LittlePiggy: its ok to not want to talk about it i guess but dont just act like everything is normal if its not_

_10:30 PM DrBoom: i just want everything to be normal…_

_10:41 PM DrBoom: even if its not_

_10:43 PM DrBoom: im just_

_10:43 PM DrBoom: so fuckin tired of all this bs_

_6:32 AM LittlePiggy: yea I know_

_6:33 AM DrBoom: vc?_

_6:35 AMLittlePiggy: im at work.  later tho?_

_6:35 AM DrBoom: k_

_12:00 PM LittlePiggy: im sure things will be fine again eventually_

_12:27 PM DrBoom: they wont_

_12:29 PM DrBoom: im not going to be fine_

Mako’s timer goes off, ending his lunch, and he grips his phone so hard he’s surprised his screen doesn’t crack.  

_12:30 PM LittlePiggy: lunch just ended_

_12:31 PM LittlePiggy: we can talk more tonight_

_12:32 PM DrBoom: k_

_12:32 PM LittlePiggy: will u be up?_

_12:34 PM DrBoom: yea im reducing medication rn so im spending more time awake_

_12:36 PM DrBoom: its been real boring w/o u_

Mako can't help smiling as he yells at the rest of the crew to get back to work and then tucks his phone away, a warmth in his stomach and chest.  He’s finally making headway.  Maybe this will work out.  Whatever that may mean.

When the day comes to a close, Mako pulls his phone out as he walks through all of the areas to make sure they have been cleaned up properly. He has a text from Ted instructing him to call him.  Before he does, he looks at the messages Boom left him.  

_12:45 PM DrBoom: naptime_

_12:48 PM DrBoom: I should wake up when you message me_

_12:50 PM DrBoom: might need to spam me a bit_

He reluctantly realizes that he should probably call Ted first.

“ ‘lo, how goes?” Ted asks.

“Renovations are going good.  We’ll probably have a couple done by the time you get back,” Mako tells him.

“Eh… I’m actually going to have to stay a week or so longer.  I have to reup our building permits over here because Oz passed some new development security guidelines a few weeks ago,” Ted says, sounding put out.

“Sounds like a shit storm.”  Mako kicks a stray piece of tile out of the taped off walkway cutting through the kitchen they’re redoing and keeps moving through into the plastic-lined living room.  Other than that, everything looks good.

“Yeah,” Ted’s voice suddenly goes from annoyed to amused with a chuckle.  “The story behind it is bonkers, mate.  Apparently some knob decided to hop the fence ‘n’ got crushed a few months back—I’ve heard some real fat stories.”

“Oh yeah?” Mako asks, giving the area one last once over before locking up the three doors of the house.

“Yeah, one bloke said—“ Ted cuts off as someone talks to him off the call. “Bloody oath. Gotta go, mate, but I’m going to be here a few more weeks getting permits sorted for the company.  NZ should start to have a few conferences pop up on the new regs.  Find one and attend it for the certificate and take a few of the blokes with you.  Should be one in Auckland with how fuckall big we are.  Charge meals and gas to the company card.”  The person speaks to him again and Ted huffs.  “ _Remind me_ about that story.  You won’t fucking believe it!” Ted assures him and then hangs up.

Mako hums and rubs the back of his neck.  He leans against his bike as he goes ahead and looks up the conference Ted was talking about.  It sounds boring as shit, but if it’ll help the company and maybe get him a raise, he’ll give it a go.  

There’s one every weekend for the next two months.  It would be better to do it between jobs and this remodel should be done Thursday.  Mako sighs heavily and smacks his gas tank in frustration.  He was hoping to either spend all weekend on his couch with Boom, or brood all weekend on his couch about Boom.

He books three tickets and includes a note about needing special seating for himself, then texts the first two guys that come to mind as the most dependable of the crew.

He waits until he gets home to text Boom.

_6:23 PM LittlePiggy: boom_

He drops his bag and drywall and tile dust puff up in a cloud. 

He’s starving and tired, but he opens his laptop first and sends another message.

_6:29 PM LittlePiggy: boom_

When he doesn’t get a response, he sends the message again, then goes to put a frozen dinner in the microwave.  While it’s heating up, he sends another message and then strips his back brace, shirt and belt off with a low, satisfied groan as he drops each to the floor.

_6:38 PM LittePiggy: boom_

_6:41 PM Little Piggy: boom_

_6:43 PM LittlePiggy: get up_

The microwave goes off, so Mako stands and goes to get his food.  As he opens the dishwasher to get silverware out, he hears his computer start to ring and smiles as he returns.

“Piggy!” Boom says in greeting when Mako picks up.  Mako mutes his side and sits to type a reply.

_6:50 PM LittlePiggy: finally_

“Hey, fuck that, talk to me,” Boom demands.  

Mako snorts and shoves a fork full of food in his mouth— it’s still piping hot, so he immediately spits it out and takes a swig of beer.

“Piggyyyy,” Boom whines.

Mako unmutes himself and growls, “I’m eating,” before he realizes how sharp it is.  He opens his mouth to try and say something to soften it, but Boom titters and Mako clears his singed throat.  “What?”

“Nothin’.  Your voice is just real different than I expected,” Boom says, and Mako can tell he’s grinning just from his tone.

“You heard it the other night,” Mako reminds him, hoping to resolve that before he gets distracted by the excited way Boom is talking about him.  He unbuttons his pants while he waits for a response.

Boom is quiet for a second, then sighs and there’s a _whump,_ probably him flopping back on his bed.  “I said I was sorry.”

“I don’t think you did, actually,” Mako points out.  “That’s not what I want, though,” he tacks on before there’s a chance to start arguing for no reason.  He takes a deep breath and sighs before lacing his fingers together and resting his forehead against his knuckles.  “Are we really friends?” he asks.  “Or am I just a client?”

Boom makes a sharp noise and then scoffs.  “Of course we’re friends!”

“Well, if we’re going to keep being friends,” Mako says.  “I want you to be honest with me.”

Boom sighs and mumbles something low enough that the mic doesn’t pick it up.

“What was that?” he asks as he begins to pick at his dinner.

“I said you’re acting like an ass!” Boom says louder.

Mako snorts.  “Yeah, and you’re acting like a cagey convict.”

“Hey! That’s racist,” Boom says, but he sounds more amused than mad.

“It was said with affection,” Mako replies.

“Oh, well in that case, call me all manner of other rude shit!”  Mako can hear the inflection in Boom’s voice, and his chest aches to see him smile as he talks.  

When Mako doesn’t respond immediately, Boom’s voice softened and he says, “hey, you know I’m jokin’, right?”

Mako grunts in response and pushes his dinner away with a sigh.  “Yeah.”

“What’s up, then?”

Mako sucks on his bottom lip and stares at the grinning avatar Boom has.  “I don’t care if you look rough— I want to see you.”

This time, Boom is the silent one, but at least he’s not immediately hanging up.  

“No,” he finally says.

“Boom—“ Mako begins, but he’s cut off.

“I fucking said _no_ , Piggy!  I am _broken_.  I _look_ like shit and I _feel_ like shit _all the fucking time_ and nothing that i can do, no amount of camming and voice pandering and sexting is going to fucking fix it!  I didn’t want to work before, I literally _can’t work now_.  Not even doing the sex work I enjoyed.  I don’t know what I’m going to fucking do with the rest of my life, Piggy.  What savings I did have is now _gone_.  And _you_ want me to put on a show for you.” Boom’s voice breaks on the harsh “you,” and Mako feels like a piece of shit with his pants loose and his gut swimming with eagerness just at the sound of Boom’s voice.

Mako lets out the breath he was holding.  “Boom, I…” he scratches his belly spilling through the loosened top of his pants and then rubs his face with both hands as shame prickles deep in his chest.  “Fuck.  I’m really bad at this.”  Mako takes a deep breath and then sighs, trying to put his thoughts in order.  He has to clear his throat and cough before he can continue.  “Listen, I can’t be respectful and not expect you to just go back to how things were if you act like you did.  You made it seem like everything was fine.”

Boom is silent, and Mako can just imagine him shrugging and crossing his muscled arms across his thin chest.

“Talk to me,” Mako begs.

“I was in an accident,” Boom says.  “Surprised you didn’t see it on the news.”

“I don’t watch the news.  World is shit, don’t need a box telling me that,” Mako scoffs.

Boom gives a low laugh at that and says softly, “classic Piggy.”

“Okay, so you were in an accident,” he says.  “You got fucked up, but you can heal from it.  It’s not like your life is over,” he says.

Boom sighs and there’s a creak of bedframe as he shifts around.  His voice is louder and clearer when he speaks again, so he probably laid down closer to his laptop.  “Dunno, feels like it’s about half over,” he says bitterly.

“You can still talk and type,” Mako points out.  “You can still think and make comments like a little shit.”

“I guess. Sometimes I feel like I can’t think, though.  Like my mind races but not about anything.  Or it just stops and I end up staring at the ceiling for hours on end wanting to get up but I can’t,” Boom says.  “Ugh, this feels dumb, how about you just wank off and I’ll go to sleep instead,” he suggests.

“Nope,” Mako says, dragging his dinner closer.  “You just bitched about me expecting sex from you.  We’re not fucking tonight.”

Boom groans and his voice becomes muffled like he’s pushing it into his pillow.  “Piggyyyyyy…”

“I don’t like talking about feelings bullshit either,” Mako tells him.  “But we’re going to anyway.”

Boom whines. “Can we put it off for tomorrow?” he asks.  “Pretty please, Piggy, I’m really sleepy…” he begs.

Mako hums as he chews a bite of dinner.  “Fine, but you owe me a selfie tomorrow.”

Boom mumbles and Mako assumes it’s an agreement because it’s not just another pouty whine.  

“Do you still want to talk?” Mako asks.

“Yeah,” Boom replies.  There’s a plastic snapping noise on his side and then he coughs and clears his throat.  “Sorry, pill time.”

“That mean you’re going to pass out on me soon?” Mako asks.

“Maybe,” Boom says.  “I’m up more frequently but even if I’m not sleeping for such long blocks I still tire easily.”

Mako hums and takes another bite of food.

“What’s for dinner?” Boom asks.

“Frozen food,” Mako replies.  “It’s a rice bowl with some beef and peppers.”

“Sounds good,” Boom says.

“Eh… the most interesting part is the cilantro.”

“Mmmate, if it has cilantro on it, grate some fresh ginger and garlic on top of it for a little pop. Shit brings everything together real nice.  Dried works too, though,” Boom admits.

“What?”

“Ginger.  It’s a spicy root you can find—“

“I know what ginger is,” Mako snaps.  Well, he _kind of_ knows what it is.  He doesn’t know how to use it or what it tastes like outside of a takeout sauce, but he knows it exists and he might have known it was a root.  Probably. “I just didn’t realize that you knew what it would taste good with.”

Boom yawns and hums.  “I could cook, mate,” he says.

“Could?” Mako asks, adding ginger and garlic to his shopping list.

“Yeah,” Boom replies.  He doesn’t elaborate like Mako wants, but he’ll have to settle for now.  Something is better than deflection or ghosting.

“You probably still can,” Mako says.

Boom hums and sighs.  “Maybe.  Might try it again sometime.”

Mako smiles and scrapes the last of his dinner out of the plastic bowl.  “Let me know if you do.  Maybe you can teach me some time.”

Boom laughs.  “That’d be cute,” he says.

“Yeah?” Mako asks.  “Teach an old dog new tricks?”

Boom snorts and a tired laugh escapes him.  “Nah, ya daft cunt.  Sharing a meal.”

Mako feels his chest constrict and his cheeks heat.  “We should do it when you’re feeling up to it, then,” he says.  “If you want.”

Boom hums and it’s only a few minutes later that his breathing deepens enough to pick up on the mic and he begins snoring.

Mako clicks around on his computer, feeling less derelict now that he’s talked to Boom and his familiar snoring is coming out of Mako’s speakers.  He sends Boom a gift card for a delivery service that sends fresh ingredients and a recipe to your doorstep with a note, “its a date—no rush.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for betaing, you really keep me on track and I appreciate you so much!
> 
> And a special thanks to Shanks, Skadi, Muppet and Cancel for all their support! It means a lot to me :)

_2:14 AM DrBoom: got that gift_

_2:15 AM DrBoom: its really sweet_

_[deleted message]_

_2:17 AM DrBoom: thanks_

_6:01 AM LittlePiggy: did you delete a comment about your ass?_

_6:04 AM DrBoom: maybe_

_6:05 AM DrBoom: someone told me that I deflect using my ass a lot_

_6:07 AM DrBoom: im trying to prove them wrong_

_6:08AM LittlePiggy: not sure if im allowed to make crass jokes anymore_

_6:09 AM DrBoom: is it “tbf id use it too”?_

_6:09 AM LittlePiggy: …_

_6:10 AM LittlePiggy: maybe_

_6:11 AM DrBoom: ;) yea you can still make comments_

_6:12 AM DrBoom: sorry about last night_

_6:14 AM DrBoom: idk what happened i just freaked out_

_6:15 AM DrBoom: n i barely remember what i said_

_6:17 AM DrBoom: its not that I dont like doing stuff w/ u or i care about innuendos_

_6:18 AM DrBoom: sorry if i made things weird_

_6:20 AM LittlePiggy: kind of but its fine_

_6:22 AM DrBoom: ok_

_6:22 AM DrBoom: :)_

_6:23 AM LittlePiggy: [Pig emoji.]_

The day is fucking fantastic.  Mako isn’t worried about Boom for once.  The conversations last night and this morning went well.   _Really_ well.  They fall back into their usual pattern.  Mako has a few messages to read on his lunch, and by the end of his shift, he’s ready to go home, pour a glass of something alcoholic, and catch up with Boom.

Ted calls him as soon as Mako announces the end of the shift. “Yeah, Ted,” he grunts as he tries to do an express run of the site, checking doors and walkways.

“Nice greeting there,” Ted huffs.

“How’s class?” Mako replies. They would finish around noon tomorrow and then he would have the rest of the day and Friday to fuck off with Boom.  Then, an action packed weekend of learning.

“Fucking useless.  It’s all about safety shit we already do.  Apparently we have to make the permanent fences higher and have a minimum amount of signage per ten metres… bah, you’ll learn all about it. How’s the crew doing?”  Ted asks.  “They miss me yet?”

“They said they hope you go native,” Mako tells him.  “Said I was easier to work with.  And I smell better.”

Ted laughs across the line and Mako decides his walk is good enough, locks up and heads for his bike.  “Sure they did. You got those classes in?”

“This weekend.  I’m about to be driving, I’ll talk to you later, Ted,” Mako says, in a hurry to get home.  He messages Boom before even hanging up the call.

_5:04 PM LittlePiggy: u up?_

“Sure mate, tata,” Ted says before the call ends.

Mako revs his bike to life.  He stops to get take out on his way when Boom doesn’t respond to his message, and by the time he gets home, he’s a bit worried he’s asleep.  

_6:20 PM DrBoom: im back_

_6:20 PM LittlePiggy: u ok?_

_6:21 PM DrBoom: yea_

_6:21 PM LittlePiggy: honestly?_

_6:22 PM DrBoom: no worse than i have been_

Mako hums and slurps down lo mein.  Boom starts a voice call when he doesn’t reply and Mako accepts it and mutes, not about to miss the chance to talk to Boom but also not about to slurp out of his speakers.

“Hey, Piggy,” Boom says. He sounds tired, but his voice is smoother than yesterday.  Probably.

_6:25 PM LittlePiggy: eating_

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve slurped down all manner of bullshit while on _video chat_ with you.  Talk to me, Piggy.  Let me hear those _dulcet tones_ ,” Boom purrs.

Mako huffs and unmutes himself.  “Dulcet tones?” he rumbles.

“ _Ohhhh_ goosebumps,” Boom says and Mako can hear the smile in his voice.  

“Shut up,” Mako grunts before eating a few more bites of meat and vegetables. Boom laughs, though it sounds weak, and Mako has to force himself not to start motherhenning the shit out of him.  “How was your day?” he asks.

“Fine I guess.  You?” Boom returns.

“Great.  Talking last night was…” Mako pauses and tries not to sound like some creep.  It probably only makes it worse.   _Fuck_.  “I missed your voice,” he says finally.

Boom chuckles and there’s shifting sounds on his side.  Mako wishes he could see him, the way he picks at things, rolls around in his bed and jiggles his foot when there’s a lull in activity.  “Good thing I’ve still got that,” he says.

“I still miss everything else too,” Mako assures him.  “But it’s up to you.”  He doesn’t know how else to say that he’s still going to ask for videos and photos but Boom refusing won’t change how he feels.  

“You’re right, it is,” Boom says firmly.

Mako smiles and takes a bite of noodles, slurping them down with a hum.

“Brilliant,” Boom laughs.  “Top notch ASMR there— you could start a channel.”

Mako mutes himself and continues to eat.

When Boom realizes he’s muted, he whines and Mako can imagine the pout, the soft way his eyebrows drop and his thin lips jutting.  He wishes he could see it.  

“I was just joking, don’t mute yourself, Piggy,” Boom says, his reedy voice breaking on the nickname.

Mako unmutes himself to chuckle, then mutes himself again.

“Ass,” Boom mumbles.  “Two can play that game.”

Mako sits back and eats his meal in the ensuing silence.  It only lasts two minutes, but it’s enough for him to finish eating.  When he unmutes himself, he clears his throat and hums.  “You been talking to yourself for the last two minutes?” he asks.

Boom is silent for half a second before he huffs and then goes quiet again.

Mako grins to himself and sips his beer. It’s nice.  This flirting back and forth, the give and take.  As cliche as it sounds, it makes his blood sing.

“I missed you,” he says, and he feels ridiculous afterward because of how it sounds.  Genuine and earnest.  Nearly desperate with emotion.  Mako mutes himself again and rubs his face with his hands.  This was a mistake.  Talking where he can’t carefully filter his words and hide how intensely he feels for Boom.

“I missed you too, Piggy,” Boom says.  His words aren't measured and careful, like he’s trying to talk down someone holding him at gunpoint.  They’re soft and warm.  They feel real like nothing else between them ever has.

Mako keeps himself muted and swallows.  

_6:32 PM LittlePiggy: boom_

“Piggy,” Boom says.  His tone sounds like he’s humoring Mako.

_6:33 PM LittlePiggy: i dont know what you think might happen if your honest with me but I care_

“Piggy,” there’s a warning in the word this time.

_6:33 PM LittlePiggy: i care a lot_

_6:34 PM LittlePiggy: i want to help more but i cant if i dont know what happened_

Boom is quiet, but Mako knows he’s still there.  The call doesn’t hang up and he’s pretty sure he can hear Boom breathing.

Mako nearly types an apology before Boom finally sighs and Mako knows he’s leaning forward to end the call.

“Don’t,” he says.  “Don’t end it.”

“Piggy, I don’t want to talk about it,” Boom repeats.

“I know.”  Mako rubs his eyes and sighs.  “I know,” he repeats, when he can’t figure out how to put his feelings into words. “That’s all you have to say,” he says.

“Apparently not.”

Mako takes a deep breath.  “I’m not going to stop asking, but you don’t have to tell me.”

Boom is so quiet for so long that Mako wiggles his mouse to check that his computer didn’t freeze.  The call time is still ticking up. He’s still there.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Boom finally says.

“I wish you would,” Mako replies.

Boom scoffs and Mako can imagine him crossing his arms.  The pout on his face.   Mako smiles and sighs.  

“Should get to bed,” he says.  “Only a half day tomorrow… I’d spend the rest with you if you want.”

“Yeah?” Boom asks, and Mako thinks he’s about to tell him to fuck off for a second before his tone softens and he can hear the soft smile, the crinkle of the corners of Boom’s eyes when he says, “think I want you to.”

“Aces,” Mako says, though it feels more like a sigh, the tension draining from him with the single word.  “Just let me know if you need anything.”

“I’m not a charity case,” Boom suddenly snaps.

Mako feels a spike of annoyance at the abrupt change in tone.  Boom keeps getting defensive and annoyed at _literally nothing_ and his voice drops with his own mood change.  “I didn’t say I was just going to give shit to you.”  He most definitely would just give shit to him, and he knows they both know it, but if Boom was going to keep jerking him around and acting like it was misguided pity or unwanted support, he could go fuck himself.

Boom makes a strangled noise and punches his mattress.  “Fuck, Piggy, you still know how to make me hard when I’m in a bad mood.”

Mako’s mood bounces right back up at that.  His heart rate spikes and he licks his lips.  He nearly falls over himself trying to stop the desperate begging from coming out.   _Show me.  Show me.  Show me._

_“_ You still there?” Boom asks when Mako’s internal fight not to ask for a picture of Boom’s cock lasts longer than expected.

“What do you want?” Mako asks.  He knows his voice is husky and he tries to ignore his cock pressing against his pants uncomfortably.

“Groceries,” Boom says.  

“Video chat,” Mako replies.

“No.”  It’s so firm that Mako’s worried for a second Boom might tell him to fuck off.  When he doesn’t, Mako sighs and scratches at his jaw.

“At least send me a selfie,” Mako finally says.  “A real one, not prefab bullshit from three months ago.”

“Piggy…”

“What? How do I know you didn’t get hacked?”  Mako says.

“You _know_ I didn’t.  We’re talking right now,” Boom points out.

“Boom has a really common voice,” Mako lies.  “Could be a decent fake.”  

“You’re a cunt, Piggy,” but there’s an amused tinge to the insult, and Mako doesn’t take it to heart.  He is a cunt, though.  A needy, desperate cunt who wants to see his friend.

It takes a few minutes, but a picture of a skeletal middle finger between two orange eyes is sent to him.  It both makes him feel better and worse.  Boom is alive— but he looks like absolute shit, even if Mako can’t really see him. Maybe it’s the lack of lighting.  Maybe it’s Mako hoping that he’s actually fine.  Now that Mako knows there’s no way he’s going to let Mako help him aside from giving him money for favor, Mako is tempted to start toeing the line of impropriety again.  

“Can't be that bad off if you’re being a cheeky twat,” Mako says after studying the photo a few minutes longer.

“I’m a cheeky twat when I’m tired and hungry,” Boom points out.

Mako goes to the grocery chain site and emails Boom a gift card code for groceries.  “You got anything at home to eat?”

“Not really.  I’ll probably get the market to deliver tomorrow,” Boom admits.

Mako hums and clicks through the bookmark of Boom’s favorite pizza place to send him enough for his usual large three topping.  “What do I get for pizza?” he asks.

“Uh… I still got this half-chub, want a pic?” Boom offers.

“ _Yes_.”  Mako feels self conscious at how quickly and forcefully he answers, but Boom’s tired chuckle soothes his pride.

“Just a tic,” Boom says.

Mako eagerly awaits Boom’s dick pic and wonders, not for the first time, if Boom would be interested in his own.  Well, he knows he would be interested in Mako’s dick—Boom is a size queen first and foremost— but exchanging pictures instead of just Mako paying for them.  Becoming more than a faceless enigma that throws money at Boom.  Friends with dick pic benefits.

It sends a spike of anxiety through Mako.  He sighs heavily and shakes his head.  It was ridiculous to be worried about something he’ll never do.

“What, am I taking too long?” Boom asks, a laugh behind the accusing tone.  “You got somewhere to be?” 

Mako curses and quickly mutes himself.  Fuck.  

Boom cackles when Mako’s side mutes, but he doesn’t say anything.  Soon after, Mako receives a picture of his cock, more than the half interested that Boom implied.

Mako unmutes himself and hums.  “Bit more than half,” he points out, trying to study around the dick to get any sign of how Boom is.  It’s distracting, though.  Mako keeps coming back to wanting to taste it.  Feel it harden the rest of the way in his mouth. 

“Yeah, I tried, but it’s…” he pauses to laugh softly, “it’s _hard_ with—“ Boom pauses awkwardly and Mako can just imagine his shrug.  “Uh... dunno think it’s the meds,” he concludes, though something tells Mako that’s not what he was going to say.

Mako makes a noise in the back of his throat as an answer.  He clicks through the familiar prompts to send Boom credit for a pizza and tosses in an extra fiver for soda.  Maybe the caffeine will keep him up longer.

“So uh… how’s work?” Boom asks.

Mako snorts.  

“I dunno if that’s good or bad,” Boom laughs.

Mako takes a deep breath and summons his words.  “It’s good,” he says.  “Like I said, should wrap up around noon tomorrow… you gonna be around?”

“I’ll try just for you, Piggy,” Boom says with a yawn.

“Get some soda with your pizza,” Mako says.

“Score.  It was the shitty lighting, right? Makes it look bigger, gets ‘em every time,” Boom rambles.

“Yeah, it was the shitty lighting,” Mako agrees.  “Made it look downright suckable.”

Boom giggles and there’s a thump of him falling back on the bed.  “Yeah?” he asks.  “I’d kill for a blowjob right now.”

“Let me just hop on a boat,” Mako jokes.

Boom suddenly stops laughing and Mako thinks he went too far when Boom’s suddenly a lot closer to the mic.  “I wouldn’t mind it,” he says, softer than usual, despite being closer.  It’s the quality of it, not the volume.

It’s different and it makes Mako’s blood pound.  “I’ll keep it in mind.”  How has he not thought about it before?  He’s thought about _being_ with Boom, but actually… being with him? In the same space? Not just a fantasy?

“Pizza in fifteen,” Boom says.

“Yeah? What kind?”

“What other kind is there? Bacon, sausage and onion.”

“You should branch out,” Mako tells him.  

“What, Piggy doesn’t like bacon?”  Boom teases lightly.

“I don’t eat pork.”

“Oh.”  Boom laughs nervously.  “What’s your favorite pizza, then?”

“Pineapple and hamburger.”

“Sometimes I get bacon twice,” Boom admits.

Mako snorts and shakes his head.  “Of course you do.” 

“You’re not going to hate me for liking bacon are you?” Boom asks.

“No.  I’d never get a date if I ruled out pig eaters,” Mako points out.

“Yeah? That ‘cause your sausage is one hundred percent pork?” Mako starts laughing. “You got a big ol’ hog?”  Mako feels his lungs wheeze and he coughs.  “You bring home the bacon?”  Mako gasps for breath, trying to convince himself that the puns are stupid and Boom isn't cute or clever.  That last one was _reaching_ at best. “I can do this all day— or at least until the pizza gets here.”  Boom says, obviously encouraged by Mako’s laughter.

Mako mutes his side before he starts hacking, breathless coughs.  Fuck, laughing hard is a bad idea.  Laughing hard at _bad jokes_ is a worse idea.  He takes several minutes to calm down, and while he does, Boom keeps going on and on about pigs and pork and porcine puns.  He doesn’t know where he gets them, but Mako eventually hangs up the call entirely.

_7:12 PM DrBoom: piggyyyy_

_7:12 PM DrBoom: im sorryyyyyy_

Mako calls him back and mutes the call for his groan when the first thing out of Boom’s mouth is: “Let’s see… what’s more pork puns? Oh, pun rhymes with bun does that work?”

Mako unmutes himself.  “No more,” he begs, his voice  wheezing.  “I have lung shit.”

“Oh.”  Boom stops and Mako’s honestly surprised he doesn’t try to pile more on.  “You okay?”

Mako clears his throat and croaks out a hoarse, “yeah.”

“Surprised I didn’t know about it before,” Boom admits, after a moment of Mako muting his wheezing, deep breaths as his lungs recover.

Mako unmutes himself.  “Jerking off doesn’t set it off, but laughing uncontrollably is a different kind of stress.”

“Oh.  So you should avoid that?” he asks.

“Probably.”

“But jerking off is fine?”

Mako smirks.  “Yeah, jerking off is fine.”

Boom is strangely quiet, then he suddenly says, “pizza’s here,” and there’s the familiar rustle of him rolling off his bed.  

Mako chuckles and feels his throat ache, raw from his coughing fit.  He starts looking for a movie they can watch while Boom eats.  Despite the ups and downs of the evening, he’s feeling great.  He doesn’t really have the time for a full movie anymore—they’ve been talking for a while—but he’ll stay up for Boom and go into work tired.

He’s worth it.  He’s always been worth it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme as always for the beta. Special thanks to Skadi, Muppet, Shanks and Cancel for their support.
> 
> Alright, let's go.

Mako’s getting old.  He feels the strain of staying up late with Boom, and no matter how much coffee he drinks, it’s a bitch to work through.  He’s looking forward to a nap when he gets home, hoping for the first time that Boom _is_ asleep so that he’s not tempted to stay up.

No such luck.  Boom messages Mako while he waits in line for dumplings.  

_12:05 PM DrBoom: u off yet?_

_12:06 PM DrBoom: if not i can help ;)_

_12:08 PM LittlePiggy: yeah getting food_

_12:09 PM DrBoom: whatcha gettin?_

_12:09 PM LittlePiggy: dumplings_

_12:10 PM DrBoom: could go for some of those_

Mako sends him a picture of the perfect little balls of dough once he’s received them at the counter.

_12:12 PM LittlePiggy: a dozen chicken and half dozen red bean paste_

_12:13 PM DrBoom: hooley dooley thats a lot of buns_

Mako hums and tucks his take out into one of his saddle bags.  

_12:14 PM DrBoom: my stomach hurts just seeing all that mate_

_12:17 PM DrBoom: thats a roadhog meal if ive ever seen one_

Once he’s home, Mako sits on his bike and messages Boom for a bit, smiling at his mention of their old role play.

_12:35 PM LittlePiggy: roadhog would crush three of these and then take a nap_

_12:37 PM DrBoom: a nap sounds choice_

_12:38 PM LittlePiggy: it does_

_12:39 PM DrBoom: want to sleep together?_

_12:39 PM LittlePiggy: sounds like the opposite of a nap_

With a yawn, Mako finally gets up and heads inside with his food.  

_12:40 PM DrBoom: ;) maybe later but i meant like_

_12:42 PM DrBoom: chatting until we fall asleep_

_12:43 PM DrBoom: or something_

_12:47 PM DrBoom: shit is that dumb?_

_12:48 PM DrBoom: forget i said anything_

Mako takes pity on Boom and starts a call with him once he sits down at his couch.

“Shut up. What? Uh… hi,” Boom says.

“Hi,” Mako says, smiling and popping open his dumplings.  “Fun as that was to read, I snore.”

“Yeah?” Boom asks.  “Won’t bother me.  I uh… it’s dumb, don’t worry about it.”

“Nah,” Mako says, feeling his neck heat at the thought that Boom wants to take a nap with him.  He can just imagine Boom’s warmth pressed up against him as they sleep for a half hour or so, recharging before they have a nice bike ride and then dinner.  

Maybe after this big job, he can take some time off and go visit.  If Boom is still into the idea.  He seemed to want it a lot last night, but Mako, above all, knows Boom’s wants and needs change with the hour.  Especially now.

As Mako thinks and eats, Boom fills the silence with jabber.  Mako gets through half of his dumplings before he hears something that merits a reply.

“When does your next job start?”

“Monday,” Mako replies.  “Some small ones, then next month a really big resort thing starts for a month or two.”

Boom whistles and shifts around like he can’t find a comfortable spot.  “Sounds swanky.”

“Probably will be.  Apparently they’re building the same thing in Sydney, so Auckland and Sydney will have the exact same resort,” Mako says, playing with the folds of one of his dumplings and shifting to lie down.  He’s tired, but he wants to keep talking to Boom.

“Sooooooo you gonna be around this weekend, then?” Boom asks, his voice high with eagerness.

“Not really,” Mako replies with a sigh before shoving the dumpling into his mouth and settling further into the couch.

“Aw… what’s your plans? Drinking? Dating? Both?”

Mako laughs softly and shakes his head, though he knows Boom can’t see him.  “Neither. I have to do a safety conference for the resort job.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah.  Apparently a dipstick on your side of the pond climbed a fence and got hit with a pallet of debris dropped from halfway up,” Mako says as he stretches with a yawn.  He’d looked up a few cursory articles, but other than the bloke’s name, it hadn’t really given any details.  

Boom is silent on the other end of the line.  Mako almost thinks he’s asleep, but he’s not snoring, so it’s unlikely.

“What are you thinking about?” Mako asks.

Boom does that now.  He spaces out more often—not that it was rare before.

“Just… thinkin’ those guys are dumb and they should rot for makin’ you have to fill up your weekend with this lame bullshit,” Boom says.

Mako chuckles and closes his eyes, just to rest them—but then he wakes up the next morning with his laptop still running and a single message from Boom.

_11:20 PM DrBoom: have fun at your class [kissy emoji]_

_11:21 PM DrBoom: ps yea u do snore but its not like_

_11:21 PM DrBoom: bad_

Mako looks at the time and it’s nearly three in the morning.  Holy shit he slept nearly fourteen hours.  He wasted his entire evening with Boom.

And he’s starving.

Mako reluctantly gets up and shoves the rest of his cold dumplings into his mouth before getting dressed.  He’s at a loss for clothing.  He usually wears his work clothes or just underwear if he’s at home. He hasn’t left his apartment for anything other than work in so long that he nearly forgets he has favorite jeans and shirts.

The conference is just as boring as Mako thought it would be.  They are each given a thick envelope of reading material and worksheets to use throughout the two days and he spends most of the day itching to talk to Boom instead.  

During the hour lunch break, Mako walks to the nearby park with some fast food to relax and enjoy the day.  He’s also trying to get some space so that he can see if Boom’s around to chat, but before he can settle on which one seems more casual, “hey,” or a pig emoji, Ted calls him.  

“What?” Mako asks.

“How’s the conference?” Ted asks.

“Boring as shit,” Mako replies.  “Got a crew together yet?”

“Nearly.  Just need a few more backups because about ten of these guys don’t seem like the stick-it-out type,” Ted huffs.

Mako hums and pulls his phone down from his ear to send Boom a pig emoji, but his massive finger misses and he sends a monkey covering up its ears instead.  “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Ted’s voice suddenly goes from annoyed to amused with a chuckle.  “Oh, hey, you got a minute? I still have to tell you about that bloke what was crushed.  The story behind it is bonkers, mate.  Apparently some knob decided to hop the fence ‘n’ got crushed a few months back—I’ve heard some real fat stories.”

“Oh yeah?” Mako asks, trying to carefully type out an explanation and send the right emoji.  He heard all that from the article he read.  The “fat stories,” sound like something he would hear from a closer source than a paper, though.  He’s been interviewing a bunch of construction blokes, so either they were there or knew someone who was.

_12:32 PM LittlePiggy: finger slipped I meant a piggy_

And then his finger slips again and instead of sending one with its tongue out he sends a kissy face with a heart.  Mako nearly throws his phone across the park, but Ted is still talking.  

_12:34 PM LittlePiggy: wrong again_

“— bloke said he was just a perv wanking in public, but another who swears he was there said he saw another bloke run away from the crushed guy and that one of them was probably a hooker.” 

Mako snorts and settles into the bench more, making it creak.  He’s just going to give up on messaging Boom altogether at this point.  He feels dumb for using multiple emojis he didn’t mean to and is nervous about the kissy emoji despite Boom sending him one the previous night.  

“There’s… No way of knowing that,” he points out when Ted stays silent long enough that Mako knows he's expecting a response.  It _is_ kind of funny in a macabre way.  Fence was there for a reason.  Fucker didn’t deserve to get crushed, but if he was fucking around, the embarrassment of getting caught was well deserved.

“Well, you wouldn’t leave your regular dickin’ mate all alone with his cock out and one side crushed, would you?” Ted points out.

Mako hums like he’s considering it and Ted barks out a laugh.

“No wonder you can’t keep a man, mate.  That’s selfish if I ever heard it!”  Ted snorts and then someone talks to him off the call. “Bah.  Gotta go. Have fun with the rest of the conference and don’t fucking fail the assessment.  Those things cost money.”

“Sure, boss,” Mako says before hanging up and shoving a few fries into his mouth.

_12:43 PM DrBoom: monkey and a kissy eh?_

_12:44 PM DrBoom: thats some next level flirtation_

_12:45 PM DrBoom: u must be staring at a pic of me to miss your emojis twice_

Mako shoves half of his first burger into his mouth before replying.

_12:48 PM LittlePiggy: just cant stop jerking off long enough to type right_

_12:50 PM DrBoom: out in public?_

_12:50 PM DrBoom: hot_

Mako takes a picture of the greenery of the park and sends it to him.

_12:52 PM DrBoom: man park sex is great_

_12:53 PM DrBoom: wish i was there [winky face]_

_12:53 PM LittlePiggy: your fucking ridiculous_

_12:54 PM DrBoom: you like it [winky face]_

Mako grins down at his phone and shakes his head.  He tries to craft a reply, but he can’t get over Boom’s cheek.  The response is dumb and not even clever but it stumps Mako and flusters him to the point that he has to work to find a response.  Just when he thinks he might have something, two heavy, human sacks of shit plop down on either side of him.  One smacks his knee and the other makes a grab for his phone.  

“What you doing all the way out here, Mako?” Steve asks.

“You’ve been checking your phone all day,” Rene says as he scrolls through Mako’s messages to Boom.  “Finally find a nice bloke?  Gonna settle down and have a few snappers?” He gets to Boom’s poorly lit dick pic and looks like he got more than he bargained for.  “Whoa—“

Mako snatches his phone back and punches Rene’s shoulder hard enough that he feels bones shift in their joints.

“Godddddd,” Rene whines.  “I can’t feel me arm.  Steve.  Call the ambulance.  I’m gonna fuckin’ die.”

“I just came over here to catch up.  You’re the one who decided to look through his phone,” Steve points out.

Rene continues to whine at Steve while Mako reluctantly messages Boom.

_12:59 PM LittlePiggy: g2g_

He wasn’t going to get another moment of peace with these two fuckoffs around.

Things are too nice over the next day to push the issue of the incident again.  At least Boom is awake enough that any time Mako messages him, he nearly immediately responds, though.

Mako tries to do some of his own sleuthing, but any time he searches for accidents in Sydney, he finds article upon article about the idiot who got crushed on a building site.  They never show a picture, which isn’t all that strange, and none of them mention the details Ted told him— a second man or that he had his dick out.  

The articles don’t last long either.  They are there for about a week and a half before petering out to nearly nothing.  The incident was a flash in the pan for the media and it’s still affecting Mako two thousand kilometers away.  Ridiculous.  He tries removing key words like “building” and “debris” and “crush,” but he gets results from either three years ago or nothing even remotely related.

Is _this_ what Boom is hiding from him?

A sick feeling settles in his belly, but he shakes off the thought as quickly as it comes.  Just because Boom was certain he would have seen it on the tellie, just because he couldn’t find anything else other than this incident, just because Boom wouldn’t tell Mako for whatever reason—probably because it was embarrassing or it was stupid, which this incident is both.  

No, there has to be something off about it—the timeline or the severity of the wounds.  Something has to not track, it can’t all just lineup into the biggest fucking coincidence in Mako’s life.  One of the articles said the guy lost both right limbs.  Boom had flipped him off in the selfie he had taken.  He couldn’t do that with one hand, right?  It couldn’t be him.

Mako tries to put it out of his mind until Monday— one more weekend of chatting and warmth before he risks Boom devolving back into angry silence.

_2:46 PM LittlePiggy: hey_

Mako double checks that Boom is online after a few minutes of no reply.

_2:50 PM LittlePiggy: you up for some fooling around?  i miss u_

_2:52 PM DrBoom: not rn_

_2:53 PM LittlePiggy: k_

Mako frowns and sits back, not sure if he should offer a movie or something instead. 

_2:55 PM LittlePiggy: u ok?_

_2:57 PM DrBoom: peachy_

_2:59 PM LittlePiggy: whats wrong?_

_3:01 PM DrBoom: nothing_

_3:01 PM LittlePiggy: boom_

_3:02 PM DrBoom: know what_

_3:03 PM DrBoom: yea lets fuck_

Mako sighs and rubs his temples. He’s deflecting.  He’s either angry or melancholy.  At least if he’s angry he’s not also being silent.  Mako can feel his own anger begin to bubble beneath the surface.  The frustration over being kept in the dark, over not hearing from him for months and then Boom not thinking he’s worth the truth.

Mako is still trying to work out what to type back when Boom calls him. Doing this on voice is going to be messy, but when Mako doesn’t answer the first call, Boom calls again.

“I don’t want to fuck anymore,” Mako tells him.

“Missed you too,” Boom says, his voice more surprised than sour.

“ _Talk_ to me,” Mako says firmly.

“I _am_.”

“Then _tell me what the fuck is wrong_ ,” Mako hisses.  

“ _Nothing_ is wrong, except that you’re acting like a cunt and—“

“ _Me?_ ” Mako booms.  “ _I’m_ acting like a cunt?” Silence nearly echoes across the line, so Mako forges on.  “ _You’re_ the one who acts like everything’s fine but then me seeing you is the worst fucking thing that can happen.   _You’re_ the one who keeps getting angry.”

“It’s not—“ Boom tries, but his voice cuts out halfway through. 

“Not _what_?  Tell me _something_.  Anything other than ‘I got real fucked up and I’m sad,’ “ Mako demands.  Boom is quiet and Mako almost feels bad about his outburst, but damn if it doesn’t feel good to get off his chest.  

“You… you wouldn’t…” Boom starts, but then he breaks off.  

Mako sighs and runs his hand through his hair.  Boom’s lack of actual argument is a red flag that something isn’t right.  He tries to take down his rage, but just ends up slamming his fist down on his dining table.  It cracks and adds to his annoyance, he wishes he didn’t feel this strongly about Boom.  He wants the numbness that had taken over in the months he was MIA, wants to not care again even though he knows that’s not healthy.  

Mako stays quiet for a bit longer, breathing and clenching and unclenching his hands, waiting for Boom to hang up, but he doesn’t.  “Stop fucking getting mad that I don’t understand what you’re going through.  If you don’t fucking tell me, I won’t fucking know.”

“Surprised you’re still around if I’m that shitty.”  Boom’s voice is tired and despite the angry words, it’s soft and flat.

“I’m around because I fucking care about you, you dipshit,” Mako snaps, more than willing to be angry for two if Boom was done jerking him around.  “I’m not here for the sex or because I don’t have anything better to do.   I’m here because I give _so many shits about you_ that I’m willing to put up with your bullshit because I know you’re not this pissy little shit of a person.”

Boom finds his fire again, because he makes a high, frustrated noise similar to a scream and then he snaps, “how would you fucking know? All porn is acting, innit? How do you know who I was before wasn’t all just an act for cash?”

Boom shouting an excited “ _Piggy!”_ And the look on his face, the way he was always grinning and could go on about the most inane shit for hours, the way he played it up for some of his viewers but always looked more at ease with Mako.  He confided in him about the things he cammed but didn’t actually like.  He turned to Mako when he was looking for satisfaction and gratification outside of his channel. He trusted him to be his break from the world.

Mako’s anger collapses like a disturbed house of cards. “I don’t,” he says, his throat constricting.  His voice feels too small after being mad.  “I’m just hoping you’re the man I…” fuck he loves him.  It wouldn’t hurt this much if he didn’t.  Mako feels like he’s having a heart attack.  He doesn’t continue, just lets his broken words hang in the air.

When Mako can’t bring himself to finish and Boom doesn’t say anything, Mako clears his throat. The fact that he didn’t hang up would normally have given Mako hope, but he can’t cling to anything that fragile anymore.  It hurts too much. “You know what? You can keep your secret.”  Mako bites his tongue and growls. “I can’t keep fucking doing this.  I’m done.”

Mako waits five seconds for a response before ending the call.  He sits at his kitchen table for nearly half an hour, just staring at his laptop, hoping Boom would say something, anything that would make the ache in his chest feel better.  

He doesn’t.  There’s no explanation or apology.  Just their last few messages.

_3:02 PM DrBoom: know what_

_3:03 PM DrBoom: yea lets fuck_

Loneliness opens up in Mako’s gut like a pit.  He closes his laptop and leaves his phone on the table before going over to the couch and lying down.  

He wants to call someone, but he doesn’t socialize outside of work, really, and he doesn’t have an ex that won’t make it into a big _thing._

Instead, Mako lays down on his couch and stares at the blank tv screen, not sure what he wants—from Boom or himself.  From his life or his few relationships.

Where did he think this was going to go? Did he think he was going to get to ride off into the sunset with an online porn star?

“This is real life,” he reminds himself hollowly.  

Real life doesn’t have happy endings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and special thanks to Cancel, Skadi, Muppet and Shanks for all their support!

Mako wakes up on Tuesday with a hangover and a slew of missed messages from Boom.  And work.  Fuck.  Fuck he had slept and drank through Monday. Jesus.  Mako clears the notifications and heads for a shower.   He catches sight of a few of them and he wishes he hadn’t.  From what he saw, it was an explanation.  He doesn’t have time for this and he doesn’t want to ghost Boom, he just… needs some time.  He needs to sober up and get to work, maybe sweat out the booze and his feelings. Most of all, he needs coffee.  Lots of coffee.

His hangover lasts until lunch and his sour mood stretches another day.  Until he gets drunk again.  With more time after the fight, he becomes sentimental and mopey instead of stony and angry.  It’s Wednesday and he feels like shit that he put Boom off for three days.  

There’s a lot of new messages, but he tops off his drink and starts from the beginning, ready to ride this out like a man— several fingers deep into a bottle of whiskey and ready to get md again at the slightest provocation.

_**Monday** _

_3:09 AM DrBoom: im sorry ok??_

_3:14 AM DrBoom: your the only person i feel like i can talk to_

_3:16 AM DrBoom: the only one I thought had an interest past my ass_

_3:18 AM DrBoom: a few of the guys got pally with me but u always made me feel special_

_3:45 AM DrBoom: what happened was_

_3:50 AM DrBoom: fuck it was so fucked up_

_4:05 AM DrBoom: it was an accident a stupid accident that I shouldnt have even been there for_

_4:07 AM DrBoom: and im never gonna be okay again_

_4:09 AM DrBoom: and idk_

_4:10 AM DrBoom: never really looked forward before_

_4:11AM DrBoom: i always live in the present but_

_4:12 AM DrBoom: i just dont see a world where ur okay with this_

_4:14 AM DrBoom: even if you do love me_

_4:16 AM DrBoom: or whatever_

_4:20 AM DrBoom: not that I assume you do_

_4:23 AM DrBoom: shit_

_4:25 AM DrBoom: its_

_4:30 AM DrBoom: taking a lot not to just delete all these_

_5:01 AM DrBoom: im just so mad about everything and im trying not to be but_

_5:05 AM DrBoom: everything hurts_

_5:07 AM DrBoom: im lonely and_

_5:10 AM DrBoom: just_

_5:12 AM DrBoom: yea everything hurts_

Mako has never wanted to hold anyone as badly as he does now.  He’s never wanted to make up with someone before.  Usually he gets in one big fight and it’s over.  They’re both hurt.  Uncertain and afraid.  It’s hard to move forward when you don’t know how the other bloke feels, but…

Boom is still reaching out.  He hasn’t given up on Mako.

Mako should probably sober up first, but… well, he’s two drinks in and drunk enough to feel like picking a fight three days late, but now he just feels… fuck.  He skips the rest of the explanation—the hours of messages—and writes the same message four times before he figures out what he wants to say and how to get it out without it looking completely illegible.

_6:15 PM LittlePiggy: i can t enpathis withh noting n then u get_

_6:16 PM LittlePiggy: madd_

Nothing.  Maybe he’s asleep.

_6:18 PM LittlePiggy: u have to fuckn talk n b honest if u real_

“Jesus fuckin’ enter,” Mako growls.  He carefully types out the last few words, gingerly tapping the keys with his massive dumb fingers.

_6:23 PM LittlePiggy: ly want to work this out_

Mako nearly gives up on him being awake when suddenly a video call starts.  He stares at the screen for a while before answering and his eyes are so desperate to find Boom in the shitily lit room that he doesn’t realize that his own camera is on until Boom leans closer to the screen like he’s trying to get a better look.

Mako quickly slaps the button that blocks his camera and rubs his hands through his hair a few times.

“Hey! Get back here, I wanna talk!” Boom says.  His eyes are red rimmed, like he didn't sleep or he’s cried recently.  Probably both.  His hair is an absolute wreck, sticking up all over the place and making him look like a caricature of a zombie.  His cheeks are hollow and he’s pale like he hasn’t seen the sun in weeks or months.  Where he used to be cut muscle and taut flesh, his skin hangs off of him like drying clothes on a line of thinly padded bones.

Boom gives a tired smile at his stunned silence.  “Can we just… be real with each other? No more hiding and shit.”

Mako knows what he wants from him and reluctantly runs his hand through his hair a few times to try and tame it.  He knows he looks like shit, but so does Boom.  When Mako turns his camera back on, Boom smiles and raises his right arm to wave at Mako.  

He had expected it.  Last week, when he realized it was probably Boom in the accident, he knew the injuries.  Seeing Boom’s forearm end a few inches below the elbow still makes his blood run cold.  The amputation is still stitched, though it looks fairly healed.

“Yeah, I figured you’d pull one of those when you saw it…” Boom wraps his arms around himself, like he’s trying to make it less noticeable, but then he doesn't seem satisfied with that and grabs a fidget tool to play with with his left hand.  It starts and stops sporadically as his left hand doesn’t put enough force behind it or one of his fingers gets in the way.  

He hasn’t been eating properly.  Mako can see his ribs despite his hunched posture, and not in the sexy, muscled way he used to.  His abs have nearly disappeared and there’s a bit of a belly low on his stomach.

“So you’re uh… older, huh?” Boom says.  It snaps Mako out of his stunned stare and he feels heat creep up the back of his neck.  

Boom’s never seen him before.  And now when he is, Mako hasn’t showered in a few days, he’s drunk, and has construction dust all over him.  He’s also a few decades older than Boom.

“Yeah…” Mako grunts, trying not to let the fact that he knows he looks like a dirty, drunk old man show in his face.

Boom shrugs.  “Never really came up before, I guess,” he says.  “Don’t got a problem with that.  Age is just a number and all… ah…” he swallows and rubs his face with his left hand.  His right arm comes up like it wants to help, and it makes Mako’s chest constrict.

“Piggy, I feel like we keep going about all of this the wrong way,” Boom says when he finally pulls his hand down.  

“Yeah,” Mako agrees. 

Silence sits between them as Jamie chews on his lip and stares just below the camera.  His eyes make small movements and Mako realizes that he’s staring at Mako.  He feels flustered for a second and the heat at the back of his neck crawls up to his cheeks.

“How about… we uh… try starting over,” Mako suggests sluggishly.  

“Yeah?” Boom’s smile is weak, but it feels so good to see it after so fucking long.

Mako feels himself melting and he can only hope Boom doesn’t notice.  “Yeah.”  He scratches his stubble awkwardly and then sighs and leans forward, trying to act less drunk than he actually is.  “Uh… Hi.”  He raises his hand to wave at Boom.  “I’m Mako.”

Boom’s smile grows in strength until it’s nearly a full-on grin once he realizes what’s going on.  Mako’s heart flutters. He can’t believe this idiot thinks he wouldn’t still love him just because he lost an arm and some body mass.  

“I’m Jamie.  Nice to meet you, Mako.”

“Jamie,” Mako repeats.

_Jamie._

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roo took a bullet for me and asked for more PoaS~ I'm so excited guysssssssssss we're getting thereeeeee.
> 
> Thanks to Thyme for the beta and special thanks to Cancel, Skadi, Muppet and Shanks for all their support <3

_Jamie_.

Mako’s heart pounds hard.  After a year and a half, he finally knows his real name, Boom— _Jamie_ —knows what Mako looks like, and he doesn’t seem to have a problem with his age—not that he thought it would be, just—well.

Fuck.  What does he say now?  He’s never had to physically talk with Jamie smiling at him expectantly.  

He’s never had problems talking to men before.  Men—who were objectively hotter than Jamie, even before he lost his limbs and physique—stuttered when talking to _him._  He glances down at the preview of what Jamie is seeing and he can’t even recognize himself: he looks like a piece of shit that’s been drug through hell and back and needs to sleep for a few days.  His eyes are wide and his mouth slightly agape.  He looks like there’s an invisible gun held to his head and his next breath will pull the trigger.

“Uh…” Mako finally gets out.  How long has he been sitting here like a giant idiot?

Jamie laughs and Mako feels himself snap out of it.  A little.  He clicks over to the chat and quickly types.

_7:15 PM LittlePiggy: FUCK I CANT TALK_

“Shit.  Didn’t mean to caps lock,” Mako mumbles.

“What?” Jamie says, his grin spreading wider.  “Didn’t hear that, mate.  Did you say something about cock block?”

Mako snorts and rubs his hand over his face.  “Figures you’d bring my cock into this.”

“ _Your_ cock?” Jamie laughs.  “What about mine?  Poor bloke hasn’t had a good twist in months.”

Mako raises a brow and lets out a little laugh of his own.  “Must be having a nice vacation,” he says with a smirk.  “Beat him three times a day for a year and he probably gets tired out.”

Jamie’s smile drops into a pout and he flops back on his bed with a sigh.  “Fuck…”

There’s a slight tent in his shorts.

Mako wants to help him.

“Left hand doesn’t get the job done?” he asks.

Jamie throws his arms up in frustration and whines.  “Not as well.  ’S more work than it’s worth.  Fucked as that is.”

“Everything comes back to your cock, huh?” Mako says.

Jamie struggles to sit up and Mako sees his right leg when it raises up into camera view.  It ends right above where his knee had been.

“Shit…” he breathes.  

Jamie gets back up and raises his brow before realizing what corner of the camera Mako’s looking at.   “Oh yeah… it was both right arm _and_ leg.”

Mako tries to think of something to say and he can’t think of anything. 

Jamie grimaces and runs his hand through his hair.  “Don’t fucking look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Mako asks.

“ _Pity_.”

Mako opens his mouth and then lets it out in a harsh laugh.  “Is that why you wouldn’t let me see you?” he asks.  

Jamie shrugs and crosses his arms again.  

“Jesus, you’re a dumbass,” Mako scoffs.  “You think I think less of you?”

Jamie shrugs again. Keeps pouting.  “There _is_ less of me.”

“Jamie, I—“ Mako’s throat closes around the words and has to take a long pull from his beer to clear it.  “Jamie...” he says.  Again.  Fuck.

“Sure like saying my name,” Jamie says, his lips quirking up in a smirk.

Mako rubs the bridge of his nose and groans.  “Yeah, I do,” Mako says.  “I like it a lot.”

Jamie raises his brow and leans closer.  His smirk graduates back to a grin and Mako rolls his eyes.  Jesus, could this idiot be serious for an entire minute?  At least he wasn’t being a mopey douche.

“I like _you_ a lot,” Mako finally says.  “Not just for the sex.  I like… the idiot who slurps down two cups of ramen while watching cartoons on his laptop.  Or has so much trouble struggling out of his stupid skinny jeans that he brains himself with one of the metal sculptures on his bookcase.”  

Jamie laughs and shakes his head.  “You still should have told me that it was wiggling off!”

Mako snorts.  “I tried.  There’s still receipts in one of the clips probably.”

“Probably,” Jamie agrees.

Mako smiles broadly and Jamie cackles. They lapse into silence again, but this time it feels easier.  There’s no pressure to say anything.  For a few minutes it’s easy, just like before.  

“I’m sorry,” Jamie says, after a minute.

“Hm?” Mako asks.  

Jamie frowns and sighs before sitting up straighter.  “I _said,_ ‘I’m sorry.’ For not trusting you. And for being worried that you’d see me differently.  And for being a little bitch.  At least once.”

“At least once?” Mako asks.

“Maybe two or three times,” Jamie admits reluctantly. 

“S’fine, I lost count.”

Jamie claps his hand to his chest and lets out a harsh cry.  “Go on and twist it, mate!” he wails, but it’s followed by infectious laughter that drags a chuckle out of Mako too.

“It’s fine.  We can talk about it when you’re ready, I just… I shouldn’t have cornered you like that.  And then disappeared for a few days,” Mako admits.

“Nah.  I had it coming.” Jamie waves his stump and then slowly stops and just stares at it before crossing his arms to hide it again.  “Had this coming too, I guess.”

Mako frowns and leans closer to his laptop.  “Hey, listen to me.  Even if you were doing something stupid, you didn’t deserve that.  We don’t always deserve what happens to us in life, yeah?”

Jamie shrugs and shifts his legs like he’s going to sit cross-legged, but he just brings his left leg up under his right stump and Mako can’t help staring.  

“Because it happened doesn’t mean you deserve it.  It just means that you have to live with it,” Mako says. 

Jamie whistles and wrinkles his nose.  “That’s some sound life advice, mate.  How many years did it take you to parse that one out?”

Mako snorts and stands to go get a beer.  “Probably ‘round your age,” Mako tells him.

“Some hope for me yet, then,” Jamie remarks, and it leaves Mako with the impression that it’s something he’s heard often from someone.  Probably a parent or some other older adult.  Someone he thinks should know better than him.

Mako grunts his agreement and rolls his beer bottle between his hands.

“What?” Jamie asks, frowning and looking behind him.  “Don’t think I got any dongers out.”

“Only looking at one donger right now,” Mako tells him.  He used to watch Jamie for hours, even when he wasn’t jerking off.  Just the way he moves and the enigmatic way he speaks is enough to hold Mako’s interest on its own.  With no one else to hold Jamie’s attention, Mako may have to entertain him himself.

“Right big donger I am,” Jamie jokes.

Mako snorts and drains the last of his beer.  “I’m bigger.  Don’t have a clue how to talk to you.”

“Doin’ alright so far.  Do you need a topic or something? Could always play twenty questions.  Now that we’re… uh…” Jamie’s cheeks might color, but the lighting is too shitty for Mako to really tell.  “Undefined friends what really like each other,” he finally settles on.

Mako chuckles and shrugs.  “Could.”

“Now that your air of mystery is gone, you gotta answer my questions,” Jamie tells him, his frown very serious.

“Air of mystery?” 

“Mhm.”  His serious frown doesn’t last for long.  Jamie winks at him and he’s right back to his easy grin.  “Real sexy that was.”

Mako takes a deep breath and wishes his lighting was as shitty as Jamie’s.  Then maybe he wouldn’t see the blush on Mako’s cheeks and cackle like he’s won some kind of prize.

“You always blush this easy?” Jamie asks.

“No.”

Jamie waits for elaboration, when nothing comes, he hums and bounces a bit on his bed.  The frame beneath it squeaks and Mako’s cock responds like a Pavlovian dog.  “You always talk this much?”

Mako leans in, fighting a smirk.  “No.”

Jamie chuckles and his left hand starts picking at his stitches.

“Don’t pick at those,” Mako chastises him.

Jamie stops and lowers his hand with a guilty look.  “Should be getting them out soon.  Delayed it a little because I kept picking at ‘em…” 

“Of course you did,” Mako snorts.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Jamie sits up straight, daring Mako to say it again.

“Figured you couldn’t keep your hand away.  You’re always fiddling with shit,” he points out.

Jamie grabs his fidget tool again and awkwardly resumes playing with it.  “Fair point.  This thing’s fucking torture with my off hand, but they said it would help me build flexibility and… fine motor skills? Yeah that sounds right.”

Mako hums and leans his chin on his palm.  “You doing any other physical therapy?” he asks.

Jamie shrugs and it’s obvious that he’s trying to hide a negative behind a non-answer.

“Hm.” Mako shrugs it off. It’s not his place to tell Jamie to do PT.  If he wants the benefit, he’ll do it.

“I know that ‘hm,’ “ Jamie says with a frown.  

Mako scoffs.  “How?”

“It’s usually a few minutes of silence or typing and backspacing followed by a ‘k,’ “ Jamie tells him.

Mako can’t help the amusement spreading across his lips.  “Yeah, alright,” he agrees.  

Jamie grins and shifts around to lay on his stomach.  “I was serious about the question game,” he says.  “I feel like I don’t know anything about ya.”

Mako shakes his head and settles back in his chair.  “What do you want to know?”

Twenty questions is a game they played several times before.  They never made it to twenty because Boom _—Jamie_ never had the focus or patience for it.  Around question six, he would start touching himself and by eight, his question was, “what does Piggy want from me?”

Now that Jamie’s unable to jerk himself off every twenty minutes, they’ll probably get farther. Mako really does feel bad for him… maybe he’ll send him a pocket hole.  Mako clicks through his favorite kink site as Jamie asks him questions and he answers a bit mechanically until he checks out and there’s a few nice things headed to Jamie’s P.O. box.  Luckily for him, Jamie has more to say than he does, so he doesn’t seem to notice Mako’s distraction.

Mako doesn’t have any siblings.  Jamie has two adopted brothers back in Adelaide, he was in the middle and the only child naturally born to his parents.  Mako has always been the size he is— well, his height maxed out in late middle school and then he started growing outward, as his mum called it.  Jamie didn’t hit his final growth spurt until the summer of his senior year.  His clothes didn’t fit because his older brother was shorter than him and his parents had put the money they would have used for his clothes in his college fund.

He ended up getting a job so that he didn’t look like a seventeen year old in children’s clothes all year.  His boss was an asshole  and because of the experience he decided he didn’t like traditional work.

Mako takes a break to put dinner in the microwave and Jamie makes a face when he comes back during the four minutes it will take to heat up the food.  

“What?” Mako asks.

“We should have our date soon so I can teach you what a proper meal involves,” Jamie says.

Mako shrugs.  “Sure.  Just name a day and let me know which meal you choose.”

“What do you like to eat?” Jamie asks, his fingers beginning to pick at his stitches again.

“No pork,” he reminds Jamie.  “I hate to waste food.”

“Hmm…” Jamie taps around on his computer and then clears his throat.  “Well, the no pork options are chicken, shrimp and burgers.  Unless… you want… vegetarian…”

Mako chuckles at the way he says it.  “Nah.  You don’t maintain this by taking a double helping of veg.”

Jamie grins and his eyes seem to draw across Mako very deliberately.

“Thought you were into twinks,” Mako comments.  

“Nah, well…” he wags his head back and forth.  “They’re alright.  Usually vocal and most of ‘em are pretty cute.”

“Yeah?” Mako leans in, resting his chin on his palm and raising a brow.  “You don't seem so sure you like ‘em.”

Jamie shrugs.  “Well, everyone’s got a type,” he points out.  “My type is a good time, and after a while… eh, they all seem the same, y’know?”

Mako nods.  He knows.  “That’s why I told you to show off your eyes and face instead of your abs.”

Jamie’s expression wavers and his arms shift against his belly.  His eyes are far away.

“Hey,” Mako says to drag his attention back.  “Your life’s not over,” he reminds him.  “And if our date goes well, I’ll see about taking time off after the resort build.  If you want.”

Jamie’s brow furrows until what Mako means clicks and his grin comes back full force.  “Yeah?” he asks.  “You’d do that just for me?”

Mako shrugs.  “I mean, I’d be getting something out of it too,” he points out.  “I like spending time with you.  Doesn’t have to be a… two thousand kilometre booty call or anything,” Mako assures him.  

Jamie opens his mouth to reply when Mako’s microwave goes off.  “BRB,” Mako says with a wink.

“ ‘Kay.”

Mako walks off to get his food and comes back.

“Jesus, how big are ya?” Jamie asks as he sits back down.

“Plenty,” Mako tells him, stirring his meal.  

Jamie laughs at that and shifts to lie on his belly, propping his chin on his palm.  “I’ll say.”

Mako shoves a few piping hot bites of food into his mouth and raises a brow.  “What’s that mean?”

“Nothing.  Just appreciating the view,” Jamie says.

Mako chokes on his next bite and pounds his chest while Jamie laughs himself into tears.  “Fuck you,” he wheezes between coughs once it’s passed.  

Jamie can’t say anything through his own laughter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not hard, and with Jamie jabbering on and on, it’s relaxing and probably the most domestic goddamned thing Mako’s ever done. He’s cooked and been cooked for, but he’s never been lead erratically yet confidently through a recipe and felt so at home. He thought he was already in love with Jamie, but this… fuck, he wants to wrap himself around him and just listen to him talk and the ambient sounds of cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's date time!
> 
> Cancel asked for some Put on a Show in August. Got two more chapters of other fics coming courtesy of Cancel too ;)

“There’s no way this will fill me up,” Mako says, skeptically eyeing the half a cup of rice included with his meal kit.

“ ‘course it won’t.  That’s why there’s all this other shit with it,” Jamie points out.  The video wobbles as he cradles his laptop with his left arm and grips his crutch with his right hand.  

Mako has been trying to get him to move around his house more, encouraging tours and cooked meals and spending way too much money to get grocery delivery for Jamie, but— 

Jamie plops the laptop down on the floor and sits down next to the big box he’d struggled into the kitchen.  He lets the crutch clatter to the floor and then adjusts the camera so that he’s in the picture properly and can grin at Mako.  “Alright, so what we need for this recipe is the baby bok choy, the shrimp, rice and… ohhh that’s nifty they got a lot of it just shoved in a bag.”

Jamie tosses the food up onto the counter as he goes, picking through all of the box’s contents.  “And this… can go over there.”  He twists around to toss the product for the other meal off camera.  Mako assumes it’s to another part of the counter.

Then, Jamie picks the laptop up and reaches up to slide it onto the counter before following it up.  Mako can’t see what Jamie’s doing, but there’s a lot of grunting and cursing; eventually, Jamie spins the laptop back around with his crutch back under his arm and his face lightly flushed from the exertion.  

“Alright, so first you wash and dry the veggies,” Jamie tells him.  He walks him through prepping everything. It takes a while.  Jamie has to figure out how to do previously practiced chopping with only his off-hand and stump, and Mako’s hasn’t done anything close to food preparation aside from unpackaging frozen trays and putting them in the microwave.

It’s not hard, and with Jamie jabbering on and on, it’s relaxing and probably the most domestic goddamned thing Mako’s ever done.  He’s cooked and been cooked for, but he’s never been lead erratically yet confidently through a recipe and felt so at home.  He thought he was already in love with Jamie, but this… fuck, he wants to wrap himself around him and just listen to him talk and the ambient sounds of cooking.  He nearly cuts himself he gets so lost in the image.  Good thing his skin is thick and his knives are dull.

Jamie tells him if Mako doesn’t pay more attention, he’s going to put on a shirt to keep his mind on the task at hand. Mako snorts and promises him he’ll be good.  Jamie winks and says he hopes not.  Mako focuses on his cutting to avoid hurting himself and to control the heat flooding his neck and chest.  Jamie laughs but doesn’t comment on his flush.  He continues to instruct Mako through cooking the rice and shrimp and then through putting it all together.

The meal is filling and so delicious that Mako keeps eating even after he’s full.  Jamie finishes before him and sits watching him eat with a grin.

“Better than a fucking microwave meal, huh?” he goads.

Mako hums and shrugs.  “Bet yours tastes better.”

“Oh yeah,” Jamie agrees.  “Mine tasted like God’s jizz.”

Mako snorts before scooping another few bites into his mouth and then pushing the plate away.  “Sounds good.”

“Bet your jizz tastes better,” Jamie says, offhanded.

Mako makes a noise in the back of his throat, but he’s torn.  He misses intimacy with Jamie, but— he’s been through a lot in the past few months and Mako’s pretty sure that he’s the only person that Jamie has talked to and… Mako’s been in enough codependent relationships to be wary of them.

Jamie gets quiet and still when Mako doesn’t immediately follow up on his comment.  He crosses his arms nervously, but before Mako can open his mouth, Jamie blurts out, “If you’re not up for any of that with me anymore, that’s fine… I uh…” he raises his stump from where it was hidden behind his left arm and smiles awkwardly.  “I get it—“

“No,” Mako says firmly.  “No, no, no—Jamie, I _like you_.  A lot.  All of you.  I just… I don’t want to fuck this up with a bad start.”

“Oh.” Jamie perks up a little, but his lips are pursed. He doesn’t look angry, just uncertain and a little frustrated.  “Well, I was thinking that this was a pretty _good_ start,” he points out. 

“Yeah?” Mako asks.  

“Yeah. Uh... well, I mean, am I doing something wrong?”  he raises his right arm to his temple, then realizes he’s done it and sighs before running his left hand through his hair.  

Mako rubs the bridge of his nose and shakes his head.  “No, it’s not— you’re fine.  You’re _great_.”

A frustrated whine leaves Jamie’s throat.  “Then _what_?  If it’s not the accident, _what is it_?  I already feel like shit for making you worry so long, I thought we had a good enough thing that—“ he stops, takes a deep breath and then shakes his head and reaches past the laptop.

A pill bottle rattles as he shakes two out onto the table and then scoops them up to down them.

“Jamie, as far as I know, I’m the only person you’ve been talking to.  If we’re going to…” he hesitates, not sure what to say.  “If we’re going to do this— whatever it is— I don’t want to risk fucking it up.”

Jamie snorts and raises his brow.  “Fucking fucks it up?” he asks.

“It can.  I just…”  A spike of fear lances through him.  “I’ve had a lot of promising relationships and they all went to shit for one reason or another.  I don’t want to fuck this up.  I don’t want to lose you… again.”

Jamie lets him keep babbling and as Mako does, Jamie’s mouth slowly, slowly splits into a grin.  “You won’t,” he assures Mako, once he’s done and considering throwing himself off his balcony.  “Sex or not… I like you.  And uh… yeah, you’re the only bloke from the chat what’s really reached out.  Family’s halfway across the country, and I don’t really want them to come snooping… they don’t know what I’ve been doing to make utilities.  Point is, you’re the only one’a them I’m talking to because you’re the only one who cares.  I got a few friends here, but they got jobs ‘n’ lives and I don’t want to bother ‘em with my whinging.”

“I got a job too,” Mako points out.

Jamie laughs and leans in.  “No offense, mate, but you ain’t got much of a life.”

Mako shrugs and cant help a little bit of a smile.  He isn’t wrong.

“Maybe I should be the one talking to you about unhealthy relationships,” Jamie teases.

“Maybe,” Mako agrees.  “I’m not good at them.”

Jamie hums and sits back again.  “So no sex?”

Mako shrugs.  “I don’t know.  I don’t... know how to do this.”

Jamie chews on his bottom lip and then flops onto his side on the couch, propping his head up with his hand.  “Tell you what—how about you trust me to know whether I’m in too deep, and you go out for drinks with your work buddies tomorrow night.”

Mako shrugs.  “Sure.”

“Alright.  Now, I need a yay or nay on that sex because I got something yesterday and wanted to wait until I had you on call to open it,” Jamie says.

“Oh yeah?” Mako asks.

“Yeah.”  Jamie reaches down below the coffee table and picks up a plain brown box.  “Got my PO box forwarded for now.  Got something from ‘LittlePiggy.’ “

Mako sits forward a bit and grunts.

“Not gonna get jealous, are ya?” Jamie asks.

Mako laughs and rolls his eyes.  This is dumb, but it’s nice.  He feels better after talking about their relationship and he’s been starved for Jamie.

“Wanna see what I got?”

“Yeah,” Mako says.  “Might as well enjoy what LittlePiggy sent you.”

Jamie grins and grabs a pair of scissors to score the tape with.  “Let’s see… oooohh, sweet.  Never had one of these before.” He pulls out an unassuming, narrow black box about eight inches long.

“Surprised you don’t.  You have everything else,” he points out.

“Well, guess it’s more that I never needed one,” Jamie admits.  “Between vibrators and myself…” he shrugs and clears his throat before opening up the box and shaking out a hard plastic cylinder.  He holds it between his thighs, screws off the top and sticks his finger into the flesh-colored opening.

“Well, you’ve almost got the right idea,” Mako comments.  

Jamie laughs and flips him off before digging into the cushions of the couch for a bottle of lube.  “I’ve seen enough porn to know how to use one,” he says, not haughty enough to sound indignant.

“Yeah, sure,” Mako snorts.

Jamie squeezes a good amount of lube into the opening at the top of the fleshlight and then pokes at it again.  His finger sinks in easily and then he frowns and fishes around inside it for a second with two fingers.  When he withdraws his fingers, he pulls out the shipping rod and then dips his fingers in a few more times. “This feels weird as shit.”

Mako grunts in response as Jamie wedges the light between the couch cushions then hooks his thumb under the waistband of his shorts and drags them down enough to get his cock out.  He awkwardly jerks himself with his left hand enough to get half hard, then picks up the lubed up fleshlight and presses slowly into it.  

“Nnngh… shit… that’s fucking _cold_ ,” he hisses.

Mako chuckles and leans forward to watch him with more interest.  “It’ll get warmer,” he assures him.

“You use one of these?” Jamie asks as he wipes the excess lube onto his shorts so that he can get a good grip on the light.

“A few times,” Mako says.  “I’ve only found one that doesn’t hurt for me to use.”

“Hurt?” Jamie asks, jerking the fleshlight off of his cock.  It makes a lewd sucking sound as it leaves him and Jamie sucks in a deep breath between his teeth.  “Fuck.  That was _nice._ ”

Mako lets out a low noise and adjusts himself in his pants.  “Most lights can be too tight for bigger men.  Yours is probably fine.”

Jamie shrugs and slides his cock back into the light.  “ ‘Right, then.”  He sighs and begins moving the light back and forth on his cock.  “Oh.  Fuck.”  He lets his head roll back and closes his eyes.  “Fuck.”  His right arm reaches out and his stump presses and slips against the cushion like it’s trying to find a hold.

Mako swallows and undoes his pants.  He makes a soft noise when he squeezes his cock and it brings Jamie’s head back up.  Mako stares at him and gives his own cock a long, slow stroke.  God, he missed this.  

“You enjoying this?” Jamie asks, bucking his hips up into the light.  

Mako lets out a low rumble.  “Yeah.”

Jamie licks his lips and bites his bottom lip.  “Christ.  You look like you want me real bad,” he murmurs.  He jerks the light back and forth on his cock, a slurping sound following each movement. 

“That okay?” Mako asks.

“Yeah.  ‘S hot.  Always figured you looked… real sexy when you were jerking it,” Jamie admits.

Mako drags his eyes away from Jamie and looks at the preview image of himself.  The muscles of his arm flex with each movement of his hand, though the angle of his laptop keeps his cock from being in view.  His stomach shakes and the thick pad of fat on his neck is gathered up beneath his tucked chin.  He doesn’t get it, but he guesses the dark, half-lidded quality his eyes have and the way his tongue slides out to wet his thick bottom lip every once in a while might be attractive to someone else.  

“Fuck.”  Jamie pulls his attention back with a soft whine and panting.  “Mako,” he breathes.  

Mako comes suddenly and what feels like way too early.  He growls and wipes his hand on his pants before sitting up and adjusting the laptop.  “Fucking warn me before you do that,” he snaps.

Jamie, instead of looking cowed by Mako’s frustration and raised voice, grins and sticks his tongue out.  “Did you just come?” he asks.  “Was it ‘cause I said your name?”  He arches into the light more erratically and his breathing roughens.  “Nngh… God yeah… yeah… fuck… fuck!”  He comes and wrenches the light up and down faster with a long sigh. 

Mako smiles a little when Jamie seems to melt into the couch and lets the fleshlight slip off to fall to the floor.  “Good?” he asks.

“Yeah.  Fuck, finally I got a good one.  Hooley dooley… kept ruining myself or having unsatisfying ones.  That was _so good_.  This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” Jamie says eagerly.

“Glad to hear it,” Mako replies, tucking himself back into his pants.

“Next time I want to see your dick,” Jamie tells him.  “Been wondering ever since you said Big Blue was a good approximation.”

“Sure,” Mako agrees. 

Jamie grins and pulls his shorts back up over his cock.  “Aces.”

Mako smiles back and stretches.  “Think that was alright for a first date.”

“Hell yeah, it was,” Jamie agrees.  “Good food, good company, good sex.”

That gets a low laugh out of Mako.  “Yeah.  Yeah, it was.”

“You wanna… do it again Friday night?” Jamie asks hopefully.

Mako nods.  “Sure.”

“Alright,” Jamie says.

“Alright,” Mako replies.  

They smile at each other and Mako feels so stupidly sappy that he decides it’s time for bed.  “Need to head to bed.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow and see you Friday.”

Jamie winks at him and blows him a kiss.  “Nighty night, Mako.”

“Night, Jamie.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanowrimo didn't go well, so I wrote some PoS to soothe my sadness.
> 
> Special thanks to Skadi, Cancel, Shanks and Muppet for their support.

Drinks with his coworkers is awkward until about two doubles in.  He promised Jamie he’d give this a shot, so he’s bearing with it—looking at pictures of Thom’s kids and listening to Steve and Rene snip and snark at each other.

Another drink and Steve nudges Mako with a grin and asks about the bloke he’s been talking to.  A suggestive eyebrow wiggle lasts until Mako remembers Rene scrolling through his phone and getting a full view of Jamie’s dick.  “Oh,” he says and he can’t help the corner of his lips quirking up.

“Ooooohhhhh he’s smiling, mates!” Rene titters.

Steve shoulder checks Rene out of the way so that he’s sitting across from Mako.  He carefully slides Thom his phone back and then leans forward to click his glass against Mako’s.  “Well, it can’t be going that good if you’re out with us lot and not him, eh?”

Mako snorts and rolls his drink between his hands.  “It’s good,” he says, surprising himself by giving into the conversation.  “I’ve liked him for a long time.”

Rene leans against Steve’s shoulder and sighs overdramatically.  “Then why the bloody hell are you out with us, bro—not that we mind, you’re a real conversationalist after a few drinks—and not bonin’ your dick pic boy?”

Mako drains his drink and sets the glass at the edge of the table as a sign for another.  “ ’s long distance.”

A chorus of sympathetic “aw”s and “bummer”s makes Mako reel.  No quips and questions?  Maybe it’s generational—more common than Mako thinks.  All of his coworkers are about a decade or two younger than him.  

“You got a picture?” Rene asks.  “Always wondered what kind of blokes you go for—well, from the waist up, anyway.”

“Not loud, annoying assholes,” Steve teases Rene.  “Mako’s gotta go for the strong silent types.  Like and like, you know?”

Mako rolls his eyes, but the other three men at the table pipe up with their opinions on who he’s likely to date, emboldened by Steve and Rene’s antics.  “I’ll at least give a first date to anyone brave enough to think he’s got a shot,” he says. 

The group is shocked into silence for a second, then Rene’s laugh cuts through and the whole crew slaps Mako’s back and buys him a round of drinks.

He takes his time with them, but even for his size, liquor is liquor, and by the end of the night he can barely stand.

[2:12 AM] LittlePiggy: on wsy hom

[2:13 AM] DrBoom: ur not driving right??

[2:14 AM] LittlePiggy: n

[2:14 AM] LittlePiggy: o rene driving

[2:16 AM] LittlePiggy: i wanna see u tonite

[2:16 AM] DrBoom: sure

[2:17 AM] DrBoom: ur probably cute when ur pissed

[2:17 AM] LittlePiggy: im fin

[2:18 AM] DrBoom: lmao sure mate

[2:20 AM] DrBoom: nothin hot tho i got company

[2:21 AM] LittlePiggy: i just want see u

[2:21 AM] LittlePiggy: ur face and voice

Jamie sends him a selfie with his lips pursed in a smooch and Mako’s reaction is so visceral that Rene has to pull over the car a block from Mako’s and console him.   

“Look at him,” he groans, thrusting his phone at Rene.  “He’s _so_ cute…”

“Yeah, bro, he’s pretty uh… pretty cute,” he agrees.

“I love him,” Mako confides woefully.  Rene is a thick-set man, but Mako dwarfs him as if he’s a teddy bear. 

Rene pats Mako’s back and chuckles.  “Clearly,” he tells him.  “But we gotta get you home, bro.”

“Okay,” Mako agrees.  He feels on the verge of tears but unable to shed them.  He has to pee and wants to fuck and most of all, he wants to talk to Jamie _so badly_.

“I don’t need to know any of that,” Rene tells him as he puts the truck back into gear.

“Sorry,” Mako mumbles, slumping against the window.  The glass feels cool against his face.  

“It’s fine,” Rene assures him.  A few minutes later, he pulls into the parking for Mako’s apartment and glances at Mako dubiously.  ”Can you get in okay?” he asks.  Mako grunts from his comfortable slump against the door of the truck.

“I’m good,” Mako replies with a thumbs up.

Rene waits for a minute before slapping Mako’s shoulder a few times.  “Hey, bro! You can’t just sleep in my truck!”

“I’m getting,” Mako rumbles.

Rene laughs and gets out.  When he opens the door, Mako nearly falls out.  Rene catches him easily with a laugh.  “Come on, bro,” he says, dragging the rest of Mako out of the truck.

Mako stumbles with a surprised grunt.  He latches onto Rene and the other man finally stumbles beneath the full weight of Mako.  

“Christ,” Rene chuckles.

“Sorry,” Mako grunts.  “I can do it,” he mumbles, shifting like he’s trying to carry his own weight, but he wobbles so heavily that he barely helps at all.

“What floor you on?” Rene asks as he guides Mako toward the stairs.  

“I’m fine…” Mako insists.

“That’s not what I asked, boss.”

Mako mumbles and Rene curses and they nearly fall down the stairs twice before Rene gets Mako into his apartment.  He tries to let Mako down carefully, but ends up dragged down with him and sprawled across Mako’s massive belly.  

“Sorry, bro,” Rene laughs and attempts to roll off, but thick arms trap him in place.  “Mako?” he asks, uncertainty clear in his voice.

Mako grunts in response, his eyes closed and feeling weightless and free.  He hasn’t been smashed like this in a long time—not the happy kind, anyway.  He’s missed having good drinks.

Rene relaxes and sighs.  Mako knows he should let go, but he’s warm and everything feels comfortable like this.  He hasn’t had a good cuddle in a long, long time.

“I used to like you, y’know,” Rene says after a while of silent acceptance.

“What’re you on about?” Mako slurs.

“When I first signed on with Teddy,” Rene clarifies.  “I would have given anything to get fucked by you.”  

“Oh.”  Mako takes a few seconds to process that.  “Probably could have,” he says, his voice hedging from a drunken slur to a sleepy rumble.

“If I was brave enough?” Rene asks.

Mako snorts and nods.  He’s about to fall asleep until he feels Rene’s mouth touch the thick pad of fat that lines his jaw and neck.  “Nah, mate,” he says, letting go of Rene and beginning to sit up.  His drunken urge for touch isn’t so strong that he’ll forget what is really important to him.   _Who_ is.

Rene makes a disappointed huff, but doesn’t push it.  “Fine, fine,” he says.  “Missed my chance.  Let me know if another one comes, yeah?”

Mako grunts and ruffles Rene’s hair before shoving at him.  “Be on time tomorrow,” he warns him.  

“Yeah, boss,” Rene laughs and gives Mako’s belly a slap before sliding off of him and heading for the door.

Mako lies on the couch feeling a mix of horny regret and an intense longing for contact.  He voice calls Jamie and closes his eyes, nearly falling asleep as he waits for him to pick up.  

“Mako!” Jamie says happily.  “Good you got home right, was a bit worried.”  

“He was _very_ worried,” a female voice with a light European accent says.

Mako doesn’t reply, just lays there and wishes he could hug Jamie tightly.  

“... Mako?” Jamie asks after a moment.

“Sorry,” Mako mumbles.  “Bit smashed.”

Jamie laughs loudly, but Mako doesn’t bother moving his ear away from the phone.  “Good.  Have fun?” he asks.

“Mhm.  Got a lot of free drinks from workmates,” he says with a yawn.  “Found out one of ‘em wants to shag me.”

“ ‘Course they do.  Probably all of ‘em want to,” Jamie scoffs and his friend laughs lightly.  “Angie, you’ve seen pictures, wouldn’t you fuck Mako?”

The ensuing awkward silence makes Mako give a low laugh.  

“Sorry, I go less off looks and more off substance,” she admits.

“Got a lot of that,” Mako mumbles.

Jamie brays again and Angie giggles.  “C’mon, Ang.  With that sense of humor? Tons of substance.”

Angie laughs lightly again.  “Maybe,” she says.

Jamie, satisfied, moves on from trying to convince Angie to fuck Mako to asking about his night again.  What he likes to drink, how much he had, which one of his coworkers is interested in him, whether he’s going to bang him—

“What, you’d be fine with that?” Mako asks, waking up a bit in confusion.

Jamie is silent on the other end of the line, then says, “hang on,” and mutes himself.

When he comes back on, his room acoustics have changed and he sounds a bit out of breath from moving to a different room.   “So uh… why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” he asks.

Mako furrows his brow and says, “I don’t know.  We’re… fuck _I don’t know._  What are we? Dating? Friends with benefits?” It’s a bit much for him to really process while still half-buzzed and half-asleep.

“I dunno,” Jamie admits.  “I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot,” Mako replies.  “I don’t want to fuck Rene, I want to fuck you,” he says.

Jamie lets out a mix between a whine and a groan.  “I don’t… I like to think I’m really open to shit.  I like my partners to be happy even if I can’t be with ‘em, but…” he makes a noise and then sighs.  “I mean, I don’t think it’s fair to you when we’re so far apart, and we haven’t even talked about—“

“I don’t _want_ to fuck anyone else,” Mako says and Jamie immediately shuts right up.  They sit in silence for a moment, then Mako takes a deep breath. “And I don’t want you to either.”

“Fat chance of it,” Jamie says.  Mako sighs in response and rubs the bridge of his nose.  “Sorry.  You know I get dodgy when feelings come up…” 

“I know.”

Silence again.

“I don’t want you to fuck other people either,” Jamie says in the quietest voice Mako has ever heard from him.  

“Okay,” Mako says with a small smile.  “I won’t.”

“Me either,” Jamie replies.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I wish I could kiss you,” Mako says.

“Me too.  I’m going to go back out with Angie.”

“Sure.”  Mako listens to the sounds of Jamie grunting and the creak of his crutch.  A door opens and closes and then Jamie tosses his phone somewhere soft and plops down with a grunt.

“You need to go to PT,” Angie chastises him, her voice soft and away from the phone.

“I’m fine,” Jamie mumbles, then both of their voices become clearer.  “Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, Angie, this is Mako.  Mako, Angie.”

“Hi,” Mako says.

“Hello,” Angie replies.  “You can call me Angela if you’d like.  Jamie is the only person who calls me nicknames.”

“Figures,” he snorts.

“Hey, you’ve never complained.  Besides, it’s _charming_ ,” Jamie insists.

“Of course it is,” Angela assures Jamie.

Mako chuckles and stretches out on his couch.  “So what have you two been up to?”

“Mostly catching up,” Jamie replies.

“I haven’t seen Jamie in nearly two weeks, I was surprised that he asked me to visit.”

“I didn’t know he had friends,” Mako jokes.

“Of a sort,” Angela says.  

“We actually met through a dating app,” Jamie says.  

“—I don’t use them anymore,” Angela adds.

Jamie laughs loudly.  “And she’s the one who convinced me to try camming,” he explains.  

“So you’re exes?” Mako asks, a bit surprised.  

“I wouldn’t consider someone who stood up after the first five minutes and walked out an ex,” Jamie replies. Angela laughs lightly.

“Bad first impression?” 

“Atrocious,” Angela confirms.  “And second and third.”

Mako hums and yawns.  “But... you’re friends now?” 

“I work in the ER closest to his house,” Angela explains.  “He’s accident prone, and doesn’t know what ‘no’ means.”

“You don’t say,” Mako snorts, feeling sleep pull at him.

“Hey, it could have been a cute story to tell our kids about!” Jamie points out.  “I hurt myself, bring you lunch, we fall in love and do it in the on-call room.”

“Charming,” Mako grunts.

“That’s what I said!” Jamie exclaims.  

“Annoying,” Angela adds.  “But luckily for me, he respects relationships.  I faked that I was dating a security guard and he stopped trying to date me and just… started showing up with sandwiches because he didn’t have anything better to do.  It was sad.”

“I had things to do—I was just avoiding them!”

“Mhm.  Of course...”

Mako falls asleep to their bickering.  He feels a sense of ease that Jamie has someone who can look after him, and that Jamie’s feelings are just as intense as Mako’s.

Exclusivity.  Even if Jamie’s self confidence is shit, it’s always a big thing to agree to, especially when they have so much sea between them.

Mako dreams of warm skin, robust laughter—not tinny and weak from electronic transmission.  He dreams of closeness and a permanent completeness that he’s only had brief flashes of—of wholeness and love.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep boop another PoS chapter from November. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyyyyyyyyyyy~
> 
> Thanks to Cancel, Skadi and Muppet for their phenomenal support and special thanks to Skadi for the beta~

Rene avoids Mako like he has the plague for two days straight.  It’s an impressive feat with such a small crew, but Rene can be impressive when he wants to.  On the third day, Rene ends up forgetting that he’s avoiding Mako and asks him a question.  When Mako doesn’t bring up the drunken cuddling or groping, Rene seems to get the hint that if he’ll forget it happened so will Mako.

In the same vein of poor communication, Mako has composed the same text message over and over again, but he can’t settle on a good tone or phrasing. 

_ted i want to do the australian job_

_Theodore, I hope this message finds you well.  I have a great favor to ask.  If it is not too much trouble, I would like to switch with you and foreman the Australian job.  Please advise asap._

_Yours, Mako Rutledge._

_Teddy I’m in love.  I’m going to do the Australian job and you’re going to have to be here or Rene’s going to fuck everything up._

A million variations of the same thing.  He wants to go to Australia to work and be with Jamie.  He can’t fucking stand his own apartment anymore.  He’s felt like this before, but never so keenly.  He’s lonely if he’s not talking to Jamie, and even then he feels a melancholy settle over him sometimes, like he can’t even enjoy the one thing in the world he gives two shits about because they’re so far away from each other.

The distance, the heartache, the wanderlust.  Mako keeps it all inside because Jamie seems happy.  He’s been doing his physical therapy—well, he’s been doing exercises Angela tells him to do.

Sometimes he does them naked “for a little variety” and lets Mako watch.

They seem to help.  Even after just a week, Jamie seems to be getting around better.  Mako appreciates Angela stepping in to get Jamie the physical health and help he needs, but when Jamie finally agrees to go to a PT course at the hospital, he almost wants to tell her to stop helping because it’s on one of the few week days off Mako has.

It’s too quiet and too empty in his apartment.  Mako pours a glass of whiskey, something he had avoided since the incident with Rene.  A little bit shouldn’t worsen his already pensive mood or cause him to do something stupid like reach out for contact.

_3:10 PM LittlePiggy: u ok?_

_3:15 PM LittlePiggy: did i get ur pt time wrong?_

_3:17 PM LittlePiggy: thought therapy ended an hour ago…_

_3:25 PM DrBoom: just tired_

_3:26 PM DrBoom: sorry im not up for anythin_

_3:30 PM LittlePiggy: its fine rest u worked hard_

_3:33 PM DrBoom: thx_

Mako sighs and sets his phone down on the coffee table before lying back on the couch and sighing heavily.  God he wants to be able to be with Jamie right now, but he can’t even talk to him.

His phone suddenly starts ringing with a voice call from Jamie.  When he answers with a low, “hey,” Jamie is silent.

“Jamie?” he says, wondering if he had been butt dialed or something—could phones even still do that?

“Hey.”  Jamie sounds exhausted.  His voice is grittier than usual and it’s low and he sound absolutely miserable.  

“You okay?” Mako asks.  “You should be taking a nap or something.”

Jamie makes a soft, high sound that Mako doesn’t realize is a whimper until it’s followed up by a wet sniff.

Mako’s heart drops through the floor and he shoves up into a sitting position with a frown.  “What?” he asks.  “ _Are_ you okay? What happened?”

“It’s—it’s nothing.  Physical therapy just… just _sucks_ ,” Jamie says emphatically between sniffs.  “I can’t do any of the shit they want me to and even though Ang says it’s—it’s _fine_ and I should just _take it slow_ it fucking _sucks_.  I feel useless and weak and it’s all my fucking fault because I was a fucking _dumbass_.”

Mako grunts and Jamie pauses.  

“What?” he asks, and Mako can hear the bristling in his tone.  

“Nothin’, just think you’re being hard on yourself,” Mako tells him, then presses on when Jamie sighs heavily and sniffs again.  “You’re allowed to not accomplish what they want you to, or what you want to.”

Jamie is silent, and Mako finds himself searching for more words, desperately trying to string them together lest Jamie has a tantrum and hangs up. They’ve been so good for so long, he’s nearly desperate not to return to the frustration of Jamie cutting him out.

“You got hurt, Jamie, and then you got depressed and no matter who or what or… uh… no matter the fault… it doesn’t matter what happened or what caused it.  All that matters is you.  You’re trying, you’re putting in the effort and you’re going to get better.  Better might not be…” He hears a sniff wetter than the last one from the other side and pauses, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.  Fuck he’s bad at this.  “Better might not be what you want it to be, but you’re fucking alive and you’re going to be okay, alright?” Mako finishes. 

He hears a deep breath and a cough that’s clearly covering a sob.  

Well fuck.  

Fuck he just made it worse.

Fuck.

“M-Mako… I-I think I love you, you’re just… fuck I do love you, you’re always… fuck you’re so good to me.  Good _for_ me.”  Jamie says between sniffs.

Surprised, Mako chokes on a sigh of relief and then chuckles. Jamie laughs too and Mako hears him blow his nose and clear his throat. 

“God that was fucking sappy,” Jamie says.  “Sorry if that made things weird.”

“Nah,” Mako tells him.  “It was uh… it was nice.”  Mako can feel his neck and cheeks heating up. 

Jamie’s laugh turns high and nervous, but soon takes a melancholy turn.  “I’ve never wanted to kiss someone this badly, mate.  It’s bloody torture—I want to touch you so much I feel like I’m gonna die.”

Mako grunts his agreement.  He doesn’t want to tell Jamie about his plans, just in case Ted says fuck no and threatens to fire him.

Jamie is silent for a while and then a soft snore rattles across the line.

Mako smiles a little and closes his eyes, imagines they’re side by side.  His fantasy is interrupted by a call from Ted and Mako takes a deep breath before hanging up the call with Jamie and answering Ted.  “Teddy,” Mako says as a greeting.

A beat of silence, then—“you’re not getting a raise.”

Mako huffs and then sits up with a grunt.  “Not asking for one.”

“What _are_ you asking for?” Ted asks.  “You only call me Teddy when you want something.  You don’t want things.”

A chuckle rumbles through Mako’s chest.  “Ted, I have to go to Australia,” he says, feeling exhausted at the prospect of being shot down.  “I know I said I wanted to pass on it, but… I’m going, mate, and you can either have me there working for you or you can just not have me.”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, mate.  Don’t go all ultimatum on me just yet.  You wanna tell me why you want to go to Australia?” Ted asks.

“No.”

“Okay.”  Ted sighs and then there’s several beats of silence.  “The plans are the same, and as long as you acknowledge there’s no pay difference, I don’t see the harm.  You already did that safety course… you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he asks.

“I’m sure,” Mako tells him.  “I just need this, Teddy.”  He swallows and searches for something, anything he can say to convince the silence on the other end of the phone.  He grits his teeth and takes a deep breath.  “... Please?”

Ted snorts and hums.  “Sure, mate,” Ted says after a while of thought.  “What’s the harm?” 

Mako lets out a sigh of relief and grins.  “Thanks,” he says.

“Yeah, I’ll figure out the details and get with you—was planning on hoping the pond at least once before the build anyway.  You want a plane or the ferry?”

“Ferry,” Mako says automatically, not having thought this far, really.  “I want to be able to take my bike so I’m not using rented trucks to get around.”

“Sure,” Ted agrees.  “I’ll give you an allowance for a motel and food.  Not going to be fancy, but it’ll be something.”

“Right,” Mako replies, still unable to really wrap his head around the fact that he succeeded.  He is going to see Jamie—well, so long as he still wants to after his nap.  Sometimes Jamie says things and then sleeps the notion off.

Mako hopes to God that this one sticks.  He waits an hour or so to let it sink in for himself before he messages Jamie.

_6:17 PM LittlePiggy: im coming to oz in a few weeks with work_

_6:18 PM LittlePiggy: i want to see u if thats wat u want to_

_6:43 PM DrBoom: what rly??_

_6:45 PM DrBoom: how?_

_6:48 PM DrBoom: i mean yea ofc I want to see u_

_6:50 PM LittlePiggy: lol_

_6:51 PM LittlePiggy: its work but i should have free time too_

_6:54 PM LittlePiggy: i can help out with groc and trans so u dont have to use the bus_

Jamie doesn’t respond and Mako starts to feel uneasy.

_7:03 PM LittlePiggy: u ok?_

_7:05 PM DrBoom: yea_

_7:06 PM DrBoom: just still tired_

_7:06 PM LittlePiggy: k ill let u rest and give more info when i have it_

_7:07 PM DrBoom: k_

Mako sets his phone to the side and rubs his face.  Fuck, he just wanted to spend some time with Jamie on his day off, but now he’s exhausted from the therapy—he hopes that’s actually what it is.  

Mako expected more of a reaction from him, but knows that with messaging sometimes things don’t come through as strongly.  And Jamie’s tired.  

He grabs his glass and stands to refill it, trying to think of how nice it will be to really see Jamie instead of all of the times he had stayed up to talk even when he was dragging ass, about to fall asleep on his ride home.  Mako tosses his drink back and starts to fill it again before he hesitates and just sets the bottle down.  He shouldn’t start this.  He’s already tempted to ask Jamie whether he’s really tired or just weirded out that Mako would change all his plans just to see him.  Whether he appreciates it or not.  Why he’s not acting happy about it.

Where are Mako’s exclamation marks?  Where are the CAPs and tired selfies and Jamie talking to him until they both fall asleep making plans for how to spend their time together?

Mako rubs his eyes and sighs.  “No, don’t do this,” he tells himself.  “Don’t fucking do this to us.”

Mako throws his phone on the couch and heads for his bedroom.  That was fucking staying there.  He was done with all the drama and the heartache and fucking overthinking everything.  

Either meeting Jamie is going to go well or it’s not, and no matter how it goes, at least Mako will know where they stand.  No sense mucking it up before he even has a ferry ticket.

Mako stares at the ceiling and tries to force his mind to do anything else but play through scenarios where Jamie is aloof and polite.  Where when Mako tries to kiss him, he puts his hand on his arm and says placating niceties.  

_I think I love you… fuck I do love you._

Mako clings to Jamie’s confession like it’s his last breath and he falls into a fitful sleep.  He dreams of Jamie again.  Or, rather, of Jamie’s absence.  He rents a motel room in Australia, works on the build every day and when he comes back to his room, he paces and frets until it’s time to work again.  The days blur together and when it’s time for him to head back to New Zealand, he feels hollow in a way that scares him.

When Mako wakes up, he feels exhausted and ill, but he shrugs it off.  Maybe work will take his mind off of the unease he feels. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and a happy New Year! It's double chapter time. 
> 
> Thanks so much to Skadi, Muppet and Cancel for their support and to my discord for their encouragement and beta notes.

Jamie and Mako haven’t really spoken in nearly a week.  They’ve sent messages— good mornings and good nights, updates on their day.  Twice, Jamie sent Mako pictures of the toy Mako got him and a winky face.  One of them clean and the other clearly used and oozing.  He received them both while he was busy with work, but tried to send at least an emoji back in a timely fashion.  

He’s pretty sure they’re just missing each other, and he hates it because he misses hearing Jamie’s voice.  He wishes he could listen to him complain about his physical therapy or talk about what’s happening in the show he’s watching.

As cliche as it feels, he’s literally counting down the days.  In just four, he’ll take his bike down to Manukau harbor and then it’s a three day freighter ride from New Zealand to Oz.  He’ll be able to see Jamie in seven days.  

It’s hard to avoid Ted, especially when free food is on the line and he’s doing Mako such a huge solid by helping him go in the first place. He offered to take Mako out to a nice dinner as a reward for his hard work supervising while Ted was gone, but Mako knows that it’s also to get him in a position where he might have to actually answer Ted’s questions.  He’s just there for the food and company credit card.

It makes him suspicious when Ted doesn't say anything all through the appetizer and soup, but he finally lays it all out on the table as they wait for their entrees and says Rene told him it was all about a bloke.

Mako shrugs it off and almost makes it through without spilling anything—until desert comes and Ted leans forward with a stern expression. 

“So I know you’ve been dodging me all night, but you know that we _can_ talk about personal shit, right?” Ted says.

Mako groans and waves his hand.  “Don’t do this, mate.  I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Talk about what? I’m curious.”

Mako picks at his desert before pushing it away and sighing.  “It _is_ the bloke I’ve been talking to,” he says.  “There’s nothing to talk about.  We’re doing fine and just want to see each other. Don’t make a thing of it.”

“Right, right.  Doesn’t sound like a thing at all,” Ted replies.

Mako huffs and flicks his fingers in a beckoning motion.  “Just give me the card and the ticket.”

Ted slides a credit card across to Mako embossed with his name and the company name right beneath it.  “I know you won’t, but don’t abuse that, right?”

Mako grunts in reply and slides the card into his wallet.  “Ticket?”

“I’ll forward you the email.” Ted watches Mako for a long moment, seeming to hesitate before taking a deep breath and saying, “just don’t get too... _distracted_.  You’re still there to work, alright?”

“Yeah, I know,” he assures Ted.  

“Alright.”  Ted seems satisfied with what answers Mako has given him, sparse and reluctant as they are. Silence settles at their table, more comfortable than before—until it is shattered by more curiosity: “so, how’d you two meet?”

“Don’t push your luck,” Mako tells him, trying not to let his voice get too defensive, but it still slides into gruff.  

Ted laughs and shrugs.  “Worth a shot.  In the years you’ve worked for and with me, this is the first time anything really personal has come up.  Didn’t think you were that way for a while.”

“ ‘That way?’ ” Mako can’t help but ask.

“Yeah, into people.  You’re social enough with the crew, but, romantically, I figured you for being past all that.”

“Oh.”  Mako snorts and shakes his head.  “I’ve told you about my lovelife before.”

“Not since the past… year or so, though,” Ted insists.  “I know you probably don’t notice just because you’re close to it, but you’ve really changed a lot recently—recently in the sense that we’ve been colleagues and friends for a few decades.”

Mako feels heat rising in his neck and he shrugs, continuing the motion to roll his shoulders a few times, trying to get the sudden tightness between them to go away.  God, why is personal shit all anyone wants to talk about lately? It’s awkward as fuck.  “I didn’t notice.  Or think I was acting different.  Or think that a bunch of grown men would suddenly take interest in my personal life.”

Ted shrugs.  “Common misconception that women are the nosy ones, eh?”

Mako sighs and makes a show of looking at his phone.  No messages from Jamie.  “Yeah, gotta get home,” he lies before standing.  “Thanks for the food and the—“ he suddenly feels a spike of guilt for taking all of this and not being willing to answer Ted’s questions, but it’s _really_ none of his fucking business.  

It’s probably growth that Mako isn’t telling him that to his face.

“Thanks for everything, Ted,” he tells him.

“Sure, mate.  Remember, though—you’ve got to work if you want to play,” Ted says.

Mako grunts in response and offers Ted the ghost of a smile before he leaves.

——-

_5:30 AM DrBoom: gm_

_5:32 AM DrBoom: have a gd day at work_

_6:00 AM LittlePiggy: morning wish i could kiss u before i go_

_10:10 AM DrBoom: [kiss with a heart emoji]_

_11:58 AM LittlePiggy: [piggy emoji] [kiss emoji]_

_4:42 PM LittlePiggy: gonna be a late night_

_7:03 PM LittlePiggy: finally home u around?_

_10:23 PM LittlePiggy: guess not.  hope u sleep well. [kiss emoji]_

_6:10 AM LittlePiggy: morning [piggy emoji]_

_12:03 PM LittlePiggy: miss u_

_12:10 PM LittlePiggy: can i get a selfie?_

_4:59 PM LittlePiggy: off lmk when u can talk_

_[DrBoom missed a call at 5:04 PM]_

_7:30 PM LittlePiggy: jamie?_

_9:30 PM LittlePiggy: got an early start tmrw so_

_9:32 PM LittlePiggy: …….. night_

_4:30 AM LittlePiggy: gm_

_10:01 AM LittlePiggy: [piggy emoji] [sad emoji]_

_3:00 PM LittlePiggy: hope ur ok miss u_

_[DrBoom missed a call at 8:33 PM]_

_8:34 PM LittlePiggy: ok just let me no when u wanna talk i guess_

Three days.

It’s been three days since Mako has heard from Jamie.  He was annoyed the previous day, so he didn’t message him, figuring Jamie was back to doing the dumb hot and cold bullshit, but now he’s worried again.

Maybe the thought of seeing Mako, _really_ seeing him, scared him off.  Mako mopes and tries to distract himself with tv and food, but his fingers always come back to cradling his phone, scrolling through the past few days and hoping to see the “DrBoom is typing…” indicator.

_9:30 PM LittlePiggy: hey angela have u seen jamie? i havent heard from him in a few days and im worried_

_9:32 PM Goddess: Jamie is fine, don’t worry about him a bit!  I’ll let him know you’re worried.  I can’t tell you why he’s been MIA, but I can assure you it’s for a good reason._

Goddammit.

_9:35 PM LittlePiggy: ok thx_

Mako types and erases several more messages before just leaving it there and taking solace in the fact that Jamie is apparently still alive and has a “good reason” for ignoring him.

_9:48 PM LittlePiggy: jamie when u get this plz call me ill pick up any time_

Mako reluctantly returns to his life, though he wants to stare at his phone for hours waiting for Jamie to call him.  The next day, every jolt and shift of his phone makes him think it’s vibrating and he’s thrown back into the weeks of biting his nails waiting for Jamie to contact him the first time he broke all contact with the world.  When he had his accident.  Goddess was more willing to talk to him this time, at least, and he hopes that she gets his message to Jamie.  Fuck he should have asked her to tell him he misses him or loves him or something else sappy.  Why is he so bad at this?

Mako boards the freighter on a Thursday.  They’ll make port on Saturday night and then Mako will have a week to get settled, enjoy the sights and introduce himself to the crew Ted cobbled together.  He’s hoping most of his week will be spent with Jamie, but with his most recent radio silence, Mako is planning on a nice, long sojourn up the east coast to keep his mind off of being in the same country as his… exclusive… friend… with benefits…? and not being able to be with him.

A freighter isn’t a cruise ship, but it’s still fun to take in the ocean air and walk the ship.  He has a very uncomfortable, no-frills room to keep his stuff in and sleep in.  By the time they make it close enough to get a cell tower signal, Mako is so exhausted that he barely remembers to turn his phone back on. 

_[LittlePiggy missed a call at 4:31 PM yesterday]_

_4:32 PM DrBoom: im so fucking sorry mate_

_4:34 PM DrBoom: i had to do this therapy thing_

_[LittlePiggy missed a call at 10:05 AM]_

_[LittlePiggy missed a call at 1:20 PM]_

Mako immediately calls Jamie, but when he answers, the signal is still so spotty he only gets every other word.

“H—iggy I m—sorry—cking re—“

“Jamie, I can’t hear you,” Mako attempts to tell him.  The call drops and Mako huffs before typing the message. 

_6:23 PM LittlePiggy: still 3 hours out should be at sydney around 2130 cell/net signal still shit this far out_

_6:24 PM DrBoom: gr8 timing ill be there what boat r u on_

Mako sends him a screenshot of his ticket with the boat designation on it.

_6:28 PM DrBoom: thx_

_6:30 PM DrBoom: ang said u were worried im so fuckin sorry i didnt mean to do it again_

_6:32 PM: LittlePiggy: plz tell me u still have your other arm_

He’s half joking.  Kind of.

_6:35 PM DrBoom: lmaooooo yea nah thats not what imean_

_6:37 PM DrBoom: i mean that wld be bs_

_6:40 PM DrBoom: i mean_

_6:41 PM DrBoom: what i mean is not tellin u_

_6:43 PM DrBoom: i was in rehab_

_6:44 PM DrBoom: to get off my pain meds_

“Oh,” Mako grunts.  Well, that was important, concerning and, well, as good a reason as any not to have his phone with him. 

_6:51 PM LittlePiggy: u ok?_

_6:51 PM DrBoom: i mean i didnt do anythin stupid with em they just werent workin like theyshould and ang said it was time to say bye bye so_

_6:52 PM DrBoom: yea_

_6:54 PM DrBoom: im good i cant wait to see u_

_6:56 PM LittlePiggy: me to i missed u a lot_

_6:58 PM DrBoom: i see u had a detox urself lmao_

_6:59 PM LittlePiggy: yea a detox from ur dick_

_7:03 PM DrBoom: you want a hit? ;)_

_Does he._

_7:05 PM LittlePiggy: face first_

The picture takes a full ten minutes to download, but it’s fucking worth it to see Jamie’s smile.  It’s got a shy quality to it, like he wasn’t expecting Mako to prioritize him over his cock.  He looks healthy, if a little tired and still too fucking thin, but Mako is going to fix that.

_7:18 PM LittlePiggy: ok now ur dick_

Another fifteen minutes, another picture, this time his cock.  It’s taken top down, and the tile beneath him tells Mako that he’s definitely not at home.  His pants are around his ankles and Mako can see the blurry outline of a metal and plastic prosthetic shifted back, like it’s attempting to be excluded from the picture.  Once he’s taken in all the background details, he focuses on Jamie’s prick, the thick trail of blonde that gets darker as it approaches the root, and the clenching urge to touch himself.  He glances around him before taking the stairs down from the deck and winding through the maze of the freighter’s belly to get to his shitty little room.  

Once he’s there, he sits down on his uncomfortable cot and undoes his fly. If he has two hours left until they get to port, he might as well occupy it.  Especially after the stress of not talking to Jamie in so long.

Mako purses his lips and breathes through his nose, just in case the people on the other side of the walls around him are in their rooms.  The freighter isn’t quiet by any means, but Mako is a private person by nature, and the thought of strangers hearing him beat off is unappealing.

Jamie messages him halfway through.

_7:30 PM DrBoom: ur real quiet_

_7:32 PM DrBoom: was it a bad pic?_

_7:34 PM DrBoom: is it the prosthetic?_

_7:35 PM DrBoom: i tried to keep it out_

_7:36 PM DrBoom: i can take another one_

_7:37 PM LittlePiggy: im jerking off u idiot give me a tic_

_7:37 PM DrBoom: o_

_7:38 PM DrBoom: ;))))_

Mako snorts and tightens his grip as he switches back to looking at Jamie’s picture and swiping through his album of material Jamie has sent him.  He’s going to be able to see that cock in person soon.  He can taste it and touch it and he’ll do whatever Jamie fucking wants him to do to it because it’s been a bit too close to an obsession for him for over a year and a half—maybe almost two he can’t remember anymore.  All he knows is he wants Jamie.  He wants him safe and happy and with him.  

Mako grunts as he comes into his hand and then sets his phone down to grab a tissue from his travel bag.  

Once he’s cleaned up, Mako relaxes on his cot and finally responds to the other messages Jamie’s been sending him.

_7:38 PM DrBoom: how long is a tic_

_7:41 PM DrBoom: i no how long u can last just hurry up and come so we can talk abt how u had to jerk it as soon as I sent u a pic_

_7:42 PM DrBoom: wait send me a pic_

_7:42 PM DrBoom: ive never seen ur dick b4 wat if i dont like it_

_7:43 PM DrBoom: piggy this is srs stop wnkin n send me a dp!!!!_

_7:50 PM LittlePiggy: idiot_

_7:51 PM DrBoom: [single tear emoji] im just concerned abt our dick com_

_7:52 PM LittlePiggy: dick com?_

_7:53 PM DrBoom: compatibility_

_7:53 PM DrBoom: cant have 2 skinny dicks_

_7:54 PM DrBoom: also wat if ur dick is short n fat n cant reach the good stuff_

_7:55 PM LittlePiggy: should have thought of that before you whined about wanting it so bad_

_7:56 PM DrBoom: old habits die hard_

_7:56 PM DrBoom: real hard ;)_

_7:58 PM LittlePiggy: just because you say hard doesnt mean u have to make a dick joke_

_7:59 PM DrBoom: ur wrong but ok_

Mako laughs and tries calling Jamie again.

“I hope—apologi—ck pic,” Jamie’s voice picks up and drops every once in a while still, but it’s better than the creaking, whirring silence of the freighter.

“I can barely hear you,” he says, standing and hoping that the above deck will be better than the metal inside.

“—iggy is—ess for—ck.  Piggy—ot mess—y co—“ Mako finally makes it out onto the deck and Jamie’s voice pierces across the line clearly.  “Piggy is a hot mess for my cock,” he sing songs.

“Yeah, I am,” Mako agrees as he walks over to lean on the side rail.

“Oh, hey! You got better reception!” Jamie chirps.

“Mhm.  We’re getting closer to land,” he agrees.

Jamie makes an excited whining noise and Mako can hear a metallic creak in the background.  It sounds like he’s jumping maybe.    “Holy shittttt finally!”

“It’s still like… an hour and a half,” he says.

“Don’t care! I’m so excited mate!”

“Me too,” Mako says with a smile. “What do you want to do while I’m there?” he asks.

“Uhm… I don’t know, like do you want to do touristy shit?” Jamie asks.

“Might as well.  Long as I get to spend time with you, I don’t care,” Mako says before wondering if that was a bit too entrapping and honest.  “Not that I expect you to be with me every second I’m in town or anything.  I can entertain myself.  I do want to take a trip up the coast before I have to work.”

“Oh yeah, you’re bringing your sweet ride, huh?”

“Yeah,” Mako smiles and glances over to the shipping containers that house all the vehicles and shit people are bringing with them.  “You can ride with me if you want,” he offers.  “Might not be too comfortable, but—“

“Fuck yes I want to ride bitch for hours on end.”

Mako hesitates, not quite sure if he’s being sarcastic or not.

“I’m serious,” Jamie clarifies. “It sounds like a blast.”

Mako’s smile returns and he sighs contently.  “I missed you,” he finally says.  

“Yeah.  I uh… I missed you too,” Jamie reassures him.  “I’ll uh… I think my phone is dying or something, I gotta go.”

“Oh.  Okay,” Mako frowns, but he’s going to see him soon.  He’ll be fine for another boring hour on this thing.  Jamie already made nearly two hours fly by like nothing.

“See you soon,” Jamie says. 

“Yeah,” Mako agrees.

Soon.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Skadi, Muppet and Cancel for their support and to my discord for their encouragement and beta notes.
> 
> The fanart for this chapter is done by [xCalli0pe](https://twitter.com/xcalli0pe)! Check out her stuff, she's great :)

It takes a lot longer to get off the freighter than Mako expects, and by the time he’s slowly moving his bike onto the platform, it’s past ten.

_10:08 PM LittlePiggy: sorry this is taking so long_

_10:09 PM DrBoom: 5 min more might kill me_

Mako snorts and tucks his phone away before driving forward and pulling to a stop in the small parking lot.  He stretches and cracks his neck once he’s stopped.  He’s dead on his feet, but he can manage a bike ride at least.  There’s bound to be a motel or something within a few miles of Jamie’s house.

His heart pounds hard as he pulls his phone back out and carefully types out a message.

_10:15 PM LittlePiggy: here_

_10:16 PM DrBoom: icu_

Mako brings his head up and looks around.  He can’t see Jamie through the reflection-heavy windows of the building, but after a minute of searching, his eye catches the door opening and then there he is.

Jamie.

He pauses when he sees Mako looking at him and then raises his left hand to flutter his fingers.  

Mako waves back and swings off of his bike to go meet him.  Jamie walks in slow, measured, stilted steps, but he’s getting around much better than Mako’s seen him, so he counts it as a win.

“Hi,” Mako says.

“Hi,” Jamie parrots back, his eyes wide.  It’s dark out, but there are glaringly bright lights clustered around the outside of the building and they show Mako every detail of Jamie’s face in a crisp way that his computer and phone never could.  For the first time, he sees every hard edge and soft curve, every freckle and the way his lips are chapped and the fact that he’s blushing as Mako stares down at him and takes him in.

He looks scared shitless.  

Mako knows he has that effect on people.  He spreads one arm out in an offer for a hug, and Jamie’s left hand comes up and nudges his loosely gripped knuckles in a fist bump.  

“Oh shit.  I… that’s not what you were going for, was it?” Jamie says, his voice small and breathless.

Mako laughs and steps forward to wrap the arm around Jamie briefly.  “No,” he tells him, resisting the urge to give his hair a kiss before he pulls back.  If that’s where Jamie was right now, that’s fine.  He’s here for Jamie, not to satisfy his own need for touch and affection.  Well.  Mostly for Jamie.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Mako says, looking around.  “Did you bus here?” he asks.

“Yeah, been ‘round since five.  Not a lot of stops near here,” Jamie replies.  

Mako grunts and though he wants to take Jamie’s hand and hold him and never fucking let go like some sappy idiot—instead, he hikes his thumb back at the bike.  “I’ll drop you at yours,” he says.

“Oh,” Jamie says, his expression dropping into a frown. His eyebrows draw together and his teeth scrape his bottom lip thoughtfully before he speaks.  “Figured you’d be tired,” he says.

“I am,” Mako grunts.  “Gotta find a motel unless you have the room.”

“The hell you are.”  Jamie stops walking and smacks Mako’s arm hard.  It doesn’t do a damn thing to Mako, but Jamie yelps and shakes his hand with a hiss.  “Jesus you’re built like a brick shitter,” he says.

Mako laughs and swings his leg back over his bike, hoping that this is the beginning of Jamie lightening up.  “Yeah, I am.”

“Got plenty of room at the house.  Guest room’s all made up and waiting for ya,” Jamie assures him.

Mako scoots forward and jerks his head to the scant space cleared behind him.  “Hop on before I fall asleep in this parking lot.”

Jamie doesn’t hesitate until he gets to the bike and realizes he will have to maneuver his right leg through the space.  Mako offers his elbow for balance and eventually—with a few kicks to Mako’s back—he gets settled in on the back of the seat.  Mako waits until Jamie clutches his jacket tightly before kicking the bike on and pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. 

Jamie squirms against his back and then says against the shell of his ear, “turn around.”

Mako’s brain fairly goes offline for a moment and he misses the first few turn arounds with increasing frustration.  Once they finally get turned around, directions become easier— though no less distracting— and they eventually make it to Jamie’s house.

The driveway necessitates driving past the house and Mako lets out a low whistle when Jamie tells him to turn into the short driveway.  It’s big, easily two and a half times as big as his apartment.  There’s a large garage that can hold two cars and still have room for motorcycle.  Mako cuts the engine and tries not to be surprised that Jamie lives in a nice, spacious house in a subdivision that has to be fairly recent—at least within the last five years.  

“Relative died and I was the only tolerable one in my family,” Jamie says in explanation as Mako silently studies the house in the dark.

“Never knew how big it was,” Mako says as he gets off the bike and grabs his duffle bag.

“You got an apartment, right?” Jamie asks as he carefully dismounts.  Mako wants to hold out his hand, but after their awkward greeting, he’s just not sure what to do anymore.  “Broom closet probably seems big to you.”

“Nah, mine’s pretty good size, though most of that’s probably the open floor plan,” he acknowledges.  

“I think that’s what I have going on?” Jamie says with a shrug as he slowly walks along the stones embedded in gravel walkway up to his door.  It’s not very well kept; there are weeds growing up between the large stones, but the grass looks like it’s been mowed fairly recently.  

Jamie gets the door open and flicks on a light with a pleased sigh.  “Finally fucking home,” he says happily.

Mako looks around, not sure what he’s expecting—it’s not this.  Everything is sparse, but not in a way that says the person living there doesn’t decorate, it’s just clearly too much house for one person.  The front door opens up into the living room and the only thing separating it from the kitchen is a bar with four high backed stools sitting in front of it. 

On his right, there’s a large sectional that takes up barely a third of the living room space situated in the middle of the room.  Recessed shelves—mostly bare, but dotted with a few of Jamie’s metal sculptures and what are clearly family pictures—line the wall to the left of the door and Mako can see a few cereal bowls that have maybe been there a few days at most.  

There’s a large tv in front of the couch with entertainment shelves on either side filled with older movies that Mako’s certain Jamie’s never even heard of much less watched.  There’s a door on the left wall that looks like it leads out into the garage.  Jamie walks toward the hallway in the wall beside the tv and Mako follows him after toeing off his boots.  

“Nicer than in the tour,” Mako comments.

“Cleaner than in the tour,” Jamie corrects him.  “I told Ang you were coming and she cleaned the place.  She’s been… fucking amazing this whole time.  Never did anything in my whole life that makes me deserve such a great friend.”

“Gotta be something,” Mako replies.  “She doesn’t seem like the type to put effort into people who aren’t worth it.  Real down to earth.”

“Maybe you’ll help me figure it out,” Jamie snorts as he opens the first door to the right.  “This is the guest room.  Make yourself at home, more blankets in the linen close, which is that door and then the one next to it is the bathroom.”

Mako drops his bag into the guest bedroom and walks across to open the guest bathroom.  “Not bad.”

“Be sure to leave a five star review,” Jamie jokes.

Mako snorts and offers him a tired half smile.

“You’re probably knackered.  I’ll let you clean up and get some sleep.  We can uh… go do some tourist shit tomorrow if you want.”

“Sure,” Mako agrees.  His stomach clenches hard at the thought of being away from Jamie for even a moment after having him pressed against his back for nearly an hour’s ride and still feeling that awkward energy between them, like neither of them know what’s okay.

“Right.  Uh… night, then,” Jamie says before carefully shuffling off to door at the end of the hallway and slipping in.  Probably the master bedroom.

Mako takes a deep breath and then goes in the bathroom and starts a shower.  

The bed is comfortable, though anything is comfortable really after nearly three days on a freighter.  He closes his eyes and nearly falls asleep before he hears the door creak slightly and then uneven footsteps enter.

“You awake?”

He doesn’t say anything, just scoots over a bit and opens his arm in invitation.  The bed barely dips beneath Jamie’s spare weight as he sits and there’s the thunk of his prosthesis hitting the floor before he presses against Mako’s side and inhales deeply.  

“Hi,” he says softly.

Mako grunts and finally opens his eyes, turning his head to look down at Jamie.  “Hey.”

“I… is this awkward?” he asks.

“I’m comfortable,” Mako replies.

“No, I mean… we… things felt easier before and now… we… _I_ fist bumped.  Instead of making out at the port or something dramatic.”  

“Do you want to go back and make out in public?” Mako asks.

“No! Well… maybe? Hm…”

“Or, we can make out here, or just cuddle or sleep or talk or fuck or whatever the hell you could possibly want to do with me,” Mako tells him.

Jamie is silent, which is never good.

Mako brings his spare hand up and carefully touches Jamie, finding his chest first, then tracing up his collarbone to his neck and then cupping his jaw as Mako shifts onto his side to better see him in the dim, dim light of the neighbor’s front porch light through the curtain.  “Whatever’s on your mind, you’re overthinking it,” Mako tells him.  “What do you want right now?” he asks.

“Is it stupid to just want to lay here?” Jamie asks.

“Not if that’s what you want,” Mako replies.  “I’m here for _you_ , Jamie. Whatever you want or need— I’m… I’m here,” he finishes awkwardly.

Jamie turns his face, pressing his cheek into Mako’s hand needily.  “I want this,” he says, shifting closer and hooking his leg between Mako’s to cuddle into him.

“You got it,” Mako assures him before tucking his face against Jamie’s hair and curling around him.  He doesn’t stay awake long after that.  He’s too warm and happy and finally, _finally_ he has what he’s wanted for so long.

He has Jamie.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magna asked for this chapter and I'm so glad they did because I've been waiting... for a long time... Enjoy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mako is not in his own bed, that much he immediately knows.  He’s somewhere comfortable, so it’s unlikely he went on a bender.  His back doesn’t hurt so he didn’t have a wild fling.  He almost succumbs to sleep again, but he hears a familiar voice that immediately awakens him.  It’s muffled by a wall and a door rather than distance and WiFi.  

He’s in Jamie’s house.  

Mako leaves the bedroom and takes the short walk to the living room.  Jamie is sitting at the bar with his head slumped down on the counter and his phone at his ear.

“I’ll ask,” he says.  “Sure, Angie… thanks, love.”  Jamie hangs up the phone and then lets it fall to the counter with a heavy sigh.

“Rough morning?” Mako asks.

Jamie groans in response and turns his head to look at Mako.  “Better now,” he says with an obviously forced smile.

Mako walks over and just awkwardly stands there.  He wants to touch him—rub his back or ruffle his hair.  Anything and everything, but things seem… weird. Maybe it’s just the novelty of being in another person’s living space. “How’s Angela?”

“She’s… fine… trying to get me to go back to PT today but I want to spend time with you,” Jamie says, pouting and staring up at Mako.

Mako snorts and smiles a little.  “You know I can just come with you, right?” he points out.

Jamie groans and lets his head fall back onto the bar.  Clearly he was hoping that Mako could somehow overrule Angela.

“What does she want you to do?” 

“She thinks swimming will be good exercise, but it sounds dumb and I don’t want to,” Jamie says.

“Would it be less dumb if I swam with you?” Mako asks.

Jamie shrugs.  

“Would it be less dumb if I let you pick out what I wear?” 

Jamie’s head slowly comes up and his mouth spreads into a wide, genuine grin.  “It might,” he admits.

Mako rubs the back of his neck and yawns.  “Do you want to go out for breakfast first?”

Jamie hesitates, but then nods and says, “sure.” He slides off of the stool and then slowly makes his way toward the hall, pausing when he reaches Mako.  Suddenly, arms wrap around Mako and Jamie mumbles against his stomach—muffled but still legible.  “I’m glad you’re here.”.

Mako returns the hug and gives him a firm squeeze.  God, he doesn’t want to let go, but he somehow manages to. Jamie holds on for a few seconds longer, it makes Mako’s heart thud harder in his chest.  “Me too,” he finally says.

Jamie takes a deep breath before letting it out and then stepping back.  “Sorry, I’m just really—“

“Don’t apologize, I came here for you,” Mako points out.  “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Jamie gives another one of those forced smiles and a spike of irritation cuts through Mako’s chest.  He shouldn’t have to pretend around Mako.  He doesn’t want him to.  

They were _so good_ together before. He doesn’t know why this is happening.

They have pancakes at an American style diner.  The awkwardness sits between them, heavy and bleak as they eat.  Mako thinks he should say something but he doesn’t know what.  Aside from the hug and cuddling last night, Jamie hasn’t touched him much, so he’s not sure where they stand or what Jamie wants from this visit.   He feels like the awkwardness wouldn’t be there if there were no expectations.  Maybe he’s trying too hard to be neutral, there’s plenty of time for them to adjust to each other.

_Fuck_ this is hard.

“You gonna finish those?” Jamie asks.

Mako glances down at his nearly-finished pancakes before pushing the last few bites across the table.  Jamie grins and then scoops them into his mouth in one bite.  “So where do you want to go tog shopping?” Mako asks, raising his hand for the check.

Jamie’s eyes bounce up to Mako’s and his face goes through several emotions—his eyebrows drop low and his mouth purses, then they shoot up and the outside corners drop as he opens his mouth, his slumped shoulders coming up as his body moves into a shrug. “Oh... yeah,” he finally says.  “We don’t have to do that.”

Mako raises a brow and leans forward.  “You sure?”

Jamie nods.  “Whatever you brought ‘s right.”

Mako hums but shrugs it off.  “Guess we’ll go back to yours, then? Which pool?” he asks, pulling out his wallet to hand over some cash.  “Keep the change,” he tells the waitress before standing and offering Jamie his hand.

“There’s a physical therapy center Ang has a hookup at,” Jamie replies, taking the hand up and walking out with Mako.  “They have private pool rooms.”

“Fancy,” Mako grunts, noticing that Jamie doesn’t drop his hand as they walk down the sidewalk.  His stomach warms and the sinking feeling in his chest fades a bit.

Jamie nods.  “Yeah, Ang has a lot of contacts in medical stuff,” he explains.  “She’s apparently really fucking good at her job.”

“I’d hope so,” Mako says.  “She’s a doctor, right?”

“Yeah.” Jamie finally slides his hand out of Mako’s once they reach his bike.  “Hopefully we won’t have to visit her while you’re here.”

Mako snorts and gets on his bike.  “I’m not ‘accident prone,’ “ he points out.

Jamie laughs as he gets on behind Mako.  “Sure, sure, mate.”

Mako waits until Jamie has a firm grip on him before he starts them up and pulls off.  

———

The pool is surprisingly big for what Mako was imagining. It’s about ten feet across and ranging from a one meter shallows to a two meter deep side.  It reminds him of the small personal pools that some people ask for in suburban areas. 

Jamie’s jammers are surprisingly loose fitting and long, though Mako knows that Jamie’s sex appeal is generally accidental and he doesn’t know why he expected something different.  He shrugs off his surprise as he grabs two towels for them and then nods toward the water for Jamie to go ahead and get in.

Jamie removes his leg and slides over to the edge but doesn’t drop in.  Mako pulls his shirt off and simply walks into the pool, stopping once he’s up to his waist and turning to look at Jamie—he’s staring.

“What?” Mako asks.

Jamie gives him an awkward smile and shrugs.  “Nothing.”

“You coming in?” he asks.

Jamie shifts uncomfortably and flicks his foot in the water.  “Last time I did water therapy, it didn’t go great.”

“This time will be better.”

Jamie purses his lips and slides forward a few inches, but then stops and swings his leg in the water again, this time in frustration.  “Fuck.”

“Take your time,” Mako tells him.

“Fuck off,” Jamie snaps.

Mako reaches out and grabs Jamie’s foot before pulling him into the water.

Jamie goes under, but easily gets his leg under him and comes up sputtering and coughing.  He tries to comb his hair out of his face, but he doesn’t do much at all.  Mako pushes Jamie’s hair back and steps closer, crowding him into the side of the pool as his hand comes to rest on the back of Jamie’s neck.

“Don’t be a dick,” he says firmly.

Jamie turns his head and closes his eyes tightly.  “Fuck.  Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“You’re worried about the water,” he replies, rubbing his thumb affectionately over Jamie’s cheek.  “I don’t know what happened last time because you didn’t tell me,” he says.  “And it doesn’t matter what happened.  You’re stronger now than you were then.  You’ve been trying and working hard and if you think I travelled here by boat just to let you drown, you’re fucking insane.”  Mako lets his hand drop away and takes a deep breath.  “Let’s have fun, you get a workout in, and don’t worry.  You got this and if you don’t, I’ve got you.”

“Mako…” Jamie sinks down in the water until only his nose up is above the surface, balancing on his leg.  “Thanks,” he blurbs before struggling away through the water.  He half-swims, half-hops laps around the pool, having more difficulty as the water becomes more shallow.  

He tires easily, but Mako expects that because swimming is hard work and Jamie hasn’t been as active as he probably should have been during his recovery.  He takes frequent breaks, starting out floating and holding the edge of the pool, but it doesn’t take long for him to give in to just clinging to Mako every time his muscles get strained. Which presents an interesting challenge to Mako—he’s never had trouble behaving himself before.

Every ten minutes, Jamie’s breath grazes Mako’s ear and neck as he pants.  His stomach is warm against Mako’s and his eyes are fucking dazzling up close.  Mako wants.  He wants _bad._

Jamie gives a self deprecating laugh.  “This is such bullshit— I used to spend entire days in a pool, now I can’t even last an hour,” Jamie laments.  He’s wrapped up around Mako, arms and hands clutching his shoulders and back.  His leg occasionally slides against Mako’s thigh like it wants to hook around him but Jamie’s holding it back.

Mako clutches him tighter— so that he doesn’t slip away, of course— and easily keeps Jamie’s head above the water.  “You’ll get back there,” he says reassuringly.

Jamie snorts and looks down.  He unhooks his left arm and trails his fingertips across the lines of Mako’s tattoo beneath the water.  He’s only had it a few years so the lines are still bold and the colors vibrant. “I think you told me about this before, but I never actually got to see it.”

Mako shrugs a bit.  “Guess not.”  Now that he thinks about it, he tends to keep the apartment cold and a shirt on.  

“Are uh… are these pierced?” Jamie asks, hesitantly touching Mako’s chest.

“Mhm,” Mako confirms, then smirks.  “How long have you been staring at my tits?”

Jamie’s laughter shakes him loose from clinging to Mako and he nearly goes under the water.  Mako tightens his grip on  Jamie’s narrow waist and keeps his chin above the lapping waves he’s created. Jamie yelps and wraps his arms around Mako’s neck, clutching at Mako’s gut with his legs and laughing lightly.

“Fuck, sorry—don’t let me go, mate,” Jamie chuckles as he tightens his arms around Mako.  His breath is intoxicating against Mako’s jaw.

Mako snorts and draws back to look at Jamie.  His hair is plastered to his scalp and his eyes are a bit red from the chlorine.  Mako is struck with how much he wants to kiss him, how he hasn’t heard Jamie laugh like that in so long, how jarring and good it is to hear in person—

Mako can’t help himself—he kisses Jamie.

Jamie makes a surprised noise, but he doesn’t jerk away.  Instead, Mako feels him return the pressure.  His arms clutch Mako tighter and his legs spread to press himself against Mako’s belly, still clinging tightly. 

Mako sighs softly through his nose and deepens the kiss, pressing his tongue forward and drawing one of his hands up from Jamie’s waist to clutch his hair and drag him closer.  Finally.   _Finally_.

Jamie groans against Mako’s mouth and shifts his legs’ grip.  He suddenly slips against Mako, losing purchase on the slick belly.  When Mako brings his hands down to grab Jamie’s ass and draw him back up, he realizes that the slip was from Jamie moving rhythmically against him.  

Mako slowly walks them over to the shallower end of the pool so that Jamie doesn't have to worry about ending up with a lungful of water if he slips again.  

“Mako,” Jamie gasps between desperate kisses.  “ _Touch me_.”  

Mako presses Jamie against the side of the pool and fumbles under his belly to drag his own cock out before pushing the front of Jamie’s trunks down and taking them both in his hand.

Jamie gasps into his mouth and bites Mako’s lip hard enough to make Mako grunt.  “Sorry,” Jamie groans, but it’s swallowed as Mako returns to kissing him fervently.  He shakes his head and hurriedly continues to jerk their cocks.

Jamie rolls his hips against Mako and clutches at his hair with his hand. His stump moves around like it’s trying to find purchase on Mako’s slick back and he presses more firmly against Jamie, pinning him to the wall with his stomach.  He lets Jamie’s ass go and uses his left hand to help the slipping right arm hook around his neck. 

Jamie gasps and pants against Mako’s mouth. His tongue slides and his teeth scrape and altogether Mako can’t help chuckling into the kiss.  He’s not great at it, but he’s enthusiastic.

That’s Jamie.

Mako twists his hand around both of them and Jamie lets out a high, needy whine that echoes in the tiled room.  Mako comes.  

“Fuck,” he growls, breaking the sloppy kiss and taking a few deep, rattling breaths.  

Jamie laughs, loud and high and continues to kiss Mako’s cheek and jaw.  “That was great,” he says.

“Not done yet,” Mako pants in reply before taking Jamie by his hips and lifting him up to sit on the side of the pool.  With no regard for chlorine or catching his breath, Mako takes Jamie into his mouth, all the way down to his base and then sucks hard on his way back up.

“Oh my God,” Jamie says, flopping back on the hard plastic mats that line the pool area.  They cushion patrons from slipping or falling and now they probably kept Jamie from giving himself a concussion.

Mako snorts, licks the salty precome from Jamie’s tip and then goes back down.  He sucks and bobs, closing his eyes and giving himself over to the rhythm.  Jamie’s thighs flex and lift and then drop again before Mako feels fingers bump his ears, then nails scrape his shoulder.  He reaches up and carefully takes Jamie’s hand, guiding it up to rest in his hair.  Jamie takes a hard grip and Mako groans around him.  Taking the hint, Jamie pulls his hair again.  

“F-fuck. Yeah. I’m—mmm— _almost_ there, mate,” Jamie hisses.

Mako rumbles deep in his chest and takes Jamie deeper, swallows twice around him and then draws back just in time to catch Jamie’s come across his lips and tongue.  

“Oh.  Shit.  Shit, that’s hot, mate,” Jamie groans, staring down his body at Mako.

Mako licks his lips and swallows before dragging Jamie back down into the pool and kissing him.  Jamie kisses back before he suddenly laughs and pulls away.  “I can taste myself,” he says when Mako stops kissing his cheek long enough to look at Jamie with a raised brow.  

Mako snorts and takes Jamie’s face in his hands.  “And?” he asks.

Jamie goes red and his hand comes up to hold Mako’s.  “And that’s not what I wanted to say,” he admits.  “Fuck, I can’t think around you.”

Mako chuckles and draws him in for a soft kiss, then another.  “We can go back to communicating through text and video if you want.”

Jamie shakes his head and meets him for the next kiss.  “I like this,” he says.

“Me too,” Mako admits, resting his forehead against Jamie’s and smiling.  “You’re shaking,” he comments, feeling Jamie’s torso quivering beneath his hands.  “Let’s go get lunch and take a nap,” he suggests.

“Ripper,” Jamie nods and wraps his arms around Mako, nestling his face against his thick neck and sighing.

“Guess I’ll be carrying you to both of those things.” Mako says.

“Only if y’want,” Jamie replies.  “Mostly I don’t think I can muster the coordination for the stairs.”

Mako makes sure that they’re both tucked back into their bathers before he peels Jamie off of him and wraps one arm around his waist.  “Give the steps a shot,” he suggests.

Jamie clings to Mako’s arm and sighs.  “Give me a mo’,” he says.  “Just came harder than I have in months, I’m still a bit dizzy.”

Mako smirks and lets Jamie cling to him until he’s ready to move forward.  He manages half of the stairs before he misses a hop.  Mako scoops him up and takes him over to a chair to dry off and put his prosthesis back on.  

“Thanks,” Jamie says as he accepts a towel from Mako.

“Sure,” Mako says with a small smile.

Jamie grins back and reaches for Mako.  He leans down and they kiss again, soft and slow and long enough that someone steps in to remind them their time is up.


End file.
